From books to bondage

Another busy weekend!  Not that I am complaining - trust me!

On Friday evening we went off to a munch - not my favourite one.  Don't get me wrong the people are really nice and friendly - the food is ....... well ... it's ok food .... BUT it is an hour and a half drive to get to...... we spend two hours there and then another hour and a half drive home.  Do the math - 3 hours driving for 2 hours socializing.  Some months it just doesn't seem worth the effort - though I did say to W "at least I don't have to cook dinner"......... 

Saturday I had the last meeting of the year for the BSS group that I head up.  (BSS = bottoms, subs, slaves)  This time we were to discuss BDSM books (that was a major flop!!)  I am going to take the summer and figure out if I start it up again in the fall.  

Number of problems with the group.......
1)  a large part of them never RSVP and as I hold it here at the house I would like to know who's coming and who isn't.  
2)  Personalities!  There is one girl who bursts into tears at every meeting and wants to talk about all her problems........ Another girl dropped out because - get this one - I wouldn't friend her on facebook - le sigh - topics are getting harder to find and it has always been difficult to keep the group on topic.....and a female Dom got her knickers in a twist because she felt she should be able to attend because sometimes (rarely and never in public) she switches (personally I felt she wanted to come to keep on eye on her subbies)........ 
3)  I just don't think there is a burning need/desire for a group of this sort (though they all tell me they LOVE the group and want it to keep going)

Sunday we had 2 events to attend.  Kingston had their ArtFest.  It is a HUGE event that takes up a full city park and runs for four days - from Saturday through to Tuesday (Canada Day). And some Kinky Kingstoners  were participating in International Bondage in the Park Day.  Some bright spark planned the bondage day in the same park as the ArtFest 'cause they didn't know ArtFest was happening or was that big.  (and might I add, they have lived in Kingston a whole lot longer than I have - didn't take my suggestion that they might want to check if the park was available that weekend and didn't react to my email message telling him how big it was - after we had driven past on Thursday!! ok I am sounding peevish - moving on)   

W and I went down to ArtFest around 1pm.  We were gonna have another picnic lunch from the food trucks and have a look see at the ArtFest before moving on to the Bondage group.  When I say the weather was sunny and HOT - I do mean HOT!!!  Poor W was melting before we even got our lunch - by 3 p.m. I felt like a grease spot and kept thinking how good it was gonna feel to get home to the air conditioning!  It felt like we walked for miles around the park - up and down the aisles of tents/kiosks admiring some of the beautiful work the artisans were displaying - everything from stained glass to leather work - to paintings and pottery and sculpture.

day 48 of 365

Just a little idea of how it was set up............ you can almost feel the heat ..

 some of the stalls.........

 wooden trays 

paintings

witch balls 

leather purses 

I was drawn towards some tapestry work I saw  

and hiding behind them was the theater group that I keep bringing up .......... they were getting ready for the Canada Day Parade - learning how to walk on stilts.  My god they made it look almost easy!!  One of the folks asked if I would like to give it a try ......... crazy theater people!!! 

Pretty much after that we packed it in and headed back to the car.  We had walked round and round the park and though I had kept an eye open for the Bondage in the Park group we hadn't 'stumbled' upon them.  W agreed to drive around the park one last time before we came home.............. and lo and behold we found them!  It was a much smaller group than what was expected ....... we stopped by to say "hi".  But by then I didn't even want to drag my camera out of the car......... 

We came home hot and exhausted after a fun/full weekend! 
  

   

  

Sunday Sentiments

 

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day 47 of 365

The following picture was an accidental shot - so to speak.  It was taken at the Medical Museum.  There was a large metal machine - looked a bit like an iron lung - I peeked through the hole where I presume the head would stick out and saw the following.................. the sun was shining through another hole on the side creating the spot light effect.................

Just Rollin' along

Some days it is harder to come up with a blog than other days - but I do like to post something every day................... 

24/7 isn't very exciting.  It is nothing like the fantasies folks have - nothing at all like 50 Shades of Grey - it's just life with a different spin - sort of.............like the other morning - a spanking with the kitchen spoon in the kitchen - then bent over the counter sex with me kicking the baking drawer closed so I didn't have to wash all the baking dishes (smart move on my part - cause I did land up having to wash the floor  under my feet)    nothing very kinky or 50 shadey - but damn it is good!!

Peek in our windows and you probably wouldn't be able to distinguish any D/s from the regular stuff (unless of course you peeked in the kitchen window the other morning - cheeky grin)  

We're just rollin' along................. 

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day 46 of 365

 
 

Ghostly Adventure

day 45 of 365

Kingston came up with this great idea....... to sell season's passes to it's residents for boat tours, museums, trolley rides - all the touristy things that folks do here in the summer.  Their reasoning - which was an excellent one - when we Kingstoners have summer guests we will encourage them to do all the attractions and we won't have to pay for our entry.

For W and I it is a great idea!!  Forget visitors - there are still so many things we want to do and see around the city............ and for a small price for our passes we can now get into everything for free.

One of the perks of buying this pass was that we got an email telling us Kingston Trolley tours were going to start a Ghost Tour this summer and we were invited on the very first run last night.

It was a gorgeous night. I love ghost tours!!  So we had an early dinner and headed downtown around 6:00 p.m. The Trolley was air conditioned which pleased W (but left me with goose bumps - and not from the ghost stories!). 

Our Ghost Hunter / Trolley Driver was very knowledgeable about Kingston's history which made the evening delightful.  (and considering how much research I have done on the history of  Kingston I was very pleased to see he was - for the most part  - historically accurate!)

The only fault I had was that tour was more historical facts and not a whole lot of ghostly stories.  I can not believe in a town as old as Kingston that there aren't more ghost stories.  (time to make some up I think - to make the tour just a tad more 'ghostly').  Nevertheless we had an enjoyable 2 hour tour and I had fun trying to shoot pictures out the window of a moving, bumping, rocking bus.

  
No ghost tour would be complete without a stop at the local cemetery.............

mmmmmmmmmm - could those be ghostly apparitions dancing amongst the head stones??

W and I finished the evening off at the local A&W having ice cream floats sitting outside at the picnic tables.  What a fun adventure! 

Falling out of Submissive Head Space

The title of today's blog entry was something that caught my eye on Fetlife this morning.  NOW I don't very often read comments/questions in the group sections.. over there anymore - it's just too treacherous - like swimming in shark infested waters - upset the majority and face public humiliation. 

BUT the comment this morning was one that I was drawn to answer............

The submissive wanted to know what to do when her Dominant was having problems (whatever the problems might be) and she had to help out.  She wanted to know how to do that without losing her "submissive head space".

 Well after I spewed my coffee all over the table - after I had muttered a string of profanities and wondered just how "stupid" she was......... I calmed down and answered her............... 

Why you ask?? Because I am so tired of folks in the BDSM community trying to live in some fantasy world.  One where the Dominant is always calm cool and collected.  One where the submissive is naked - in chains or ropes - pleasing the Dominant in every sexual whim they might have........... being the pampered little pet that is stroked and petted.

The reality is - LIFE happens on a regular basis.  And in my mind the measure of a good submissive is how well she rises to the occasion - how well she cares for her Dominant in the mundane parts of life...not how many times she gives her Dominant a blow job - or orgasms - or takes a whip or flogger - or any other fantasy measure of a good submissive.

And so I told her - I have been W's submissive for over 10 years and in that time I have cared for him when he has been sick/hospitalized.... when he lost his dad and his mom and his sister..............because caring for your Dominant is not just a sexual thing - not just a game we play - it is a promise  "in sickness and in health... good times and bad" ............ and I expect my Dominant to care for me in the same manner.  

BDSM is like a fine woven tapestry of the highs and lows of life,  Submissive head space is a state of being............not something that comes and goes .... blinks on and off.  It just is who I am!

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 day 44 of 365

 

Vanilla Meets 24/7

Both Monday and Tuesday we had friends drop by to visit from Montreal - vanilla friends.  The house was 'vanilla-ized'....that was the easy part.  The hardest part were the little things......... like my calling W by his name instead of Sir - I always call him Sir.... and saying W just doesn't flow off my tongue easily - not after all these years.  

But I think we pulled it off.  Monday was a short visit - just time to have some lunch, see the house and the gardens - especially the freshly painted fence!  (trust me I was gonna make sure all our visitors saw the fence!!) and then they were off on the road again.......... 

Tuesday was a longer visit and a little more difficult for me.  These were W's friends,  Not folks I know all that well.... and I have always seen them as "bible thumpers".  I put on my best behaviour - my party manners - my 'Sunday go to meeting' behaviours.  Turns out they weren't as prime and proper as I had first thought,  Hell when W asked what they did on Monday (they are vacationing here for a few days) she said "well we had sex - we went on the dinner cruise - we had more sex"  and I picked my jaw up off the ground............and relaxed.

The only "fall out" if you can call it that - from these two visits - is that W is missing Montreal more than ever.  And that makes me sad.  But we've been round and round on that one before - so I will just leave it there................

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day 42 comments -

Downunder Don got the riddle.  It is indeed a column for a vaulted ceiling in one of my Churches from Saturday - Personally I loved the sweeping strokes of colour against the egg shell............. 

And Sharon - one day I will post a picture of our carpet beater - so you can compare the difference - it was a  good guess though............. 

And now for day 43 of 365 

 
again from my church tours - a bit of brass from a lectern..........


    

Riddle me this.............

The deep well of words has dried up (for now)........... So I thought I would leave this picture for you and see if anyone can guess what it is.............. 

day 42 of 365 

Full Social Calendar

The one thing about Kingston that I think even W would agree with, is how much "stuff" is going on all the time.......... and most of it is FREE (my favourite word)

On Saturday they had something called "Doors Open",  Now I have a feeling most cities have the same thing - just under a different name.  Doors Open is when the museums and other historical buildings open their doors for free and welcome the general public in........ 

For those of you who may not know - Kingston is a military city.  And W was pleased to see some of the military facilities open to the public  (where they would not be under normal circumstances)  

I had little or no interest in seeing military anything......... so Saturday morning saw us climbing into our respective cars and heading out to explore this Doors Open............I was heading off to explore 1800 century churches - and no I am not religious - but I was most interested in the architecture,  I also had on my list of museums - the Health Museum which is affiliated with the hospital.  I didn't even know they had a medical museum and was curious to see the "torture" medical devices from the 1800's.

I will not bore you with hundreds of pictures of church interiors but I will give show you some of the highlights...................

day 41 of 365

Do you remember a blog a few weeks back where I talked about this acting troupe that is doing historical vinettes about Sir John A MacDonald??? and how W and I had seen them at the train station??? Well quite by accident - on my tour of Doors Open - I stumbled across them again.  Their main headquarters are in a church manse......... I had a nice visit with a couple of the actors and even got to take pictures of their giant bobble head costumes (under construction) for the Canada Day Parade,.

My last stop of the day - cause truthfully I was pooping out - was the Health museum.  My niece just graduated as a Registered Nurse and I couldn't help but snap some pictures with her in mind..............

 this last picture was of the set up for an xray!

  

Then it was home to get cleaned up before W and I headed off to a munch......... 

What a fun day we both had!! 

  

Sunday Sentiments

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day 40 of 365

Contentment

day 39 of 365

When W and I moved into our lil home here in Kingston - there was a lot of work to do to make it OUR home.  One of the things that drastically needed attention was the back yard.

I can't call it a back garden - there was no garden.... just 3 bushes stuck into a sea of weeds grass.  My main objective last summer was to get some gardens in - and W had a new walk put in and got 2 sides of the back fence fixed and painted.  (all of this I talked about last year)

This summer my main goal was to turn what passed for grass in the back and front yards into a lawn.  I actually hired a firm to come in in the early spring and de-thatch, fertilize and do some major weed killing,

Our next door neighbour got the fence (the 3rd side of our fence) fixed.  Now it was no longer listing like a drunken sailor.  BUT it was a nasty brown colour............ and i do mean nasty!!

The grass has rebounded way beyond my wildest dreams - the gardens are thriving and now I have a solid fence all around the back yard.  This week I decided I would paint the 3rd side of the fence.

After all I used to stain the fence out on the island in Montreal - as well as a 30x30 deck each spring.  How hard would it be to paint one side of a fence??? 

Monday I was all fired up to get it done!! 

This is what the fence on the opposite side of the yard looked like................

This is what I was facing................

  In the heat of the first day (which bugged W no end!!)  I got this much done......

Tuesday and Wednesday it rained - and mostly washed away my enthusiasm for getting the fence painted.

BUT Thursday the sun shone and out I went again in the heat of the day - and got this much done................

Friday dawned bright and sunny.  I wanted that back fence done before our company started to arrive next week.  I had the hardest part of the fence left to do - the bit behind the lilac bush - and the bit in the ivy garden..............W went off to run some messages and left me painting........... when he came home he insisted we go out for a quick lunch at Mary Brown's (my FAVOURITE chicken restaurant just down the street from us) and when we got home W made me come in the house for a little bit .............. but then I was determined to get it finished,  I was so close .......... so very close.  So out I went again and literally pushed through......... that last little bit was the hardest part.... maybe cause I was almost done............. but I stuck it out and an hour later had finished the fence,

After a hot bath to ease my aching muscles and back (who knew that painting a fence would work muscles running from my thighs to my ass??!!!  dear god I thought I might never walk upright again) I curled up on the sofa proud of the job I had done and basking in the praise from W .......... (the praise was probably way better than my joy at finishing at the fence)

This morning I took my coffee outside in the back - curled up on the patio/deck - on my new wicker furniture and just basked in the quietness and beauty of my back garden.  Life is very good and I am very contented.

Company's coming

We have company arriving on Monday - well passing through actually.  Remember drakor??? I have mentioned him many times here on The Journey.  Well he and his wife are at the Stratford Festival this weekend (theater) and are heading home on Monday.  They will arrive in Kingston around lunch time.  

So I am busy trying to whip the gardens into shape - get the fence painted - clean the house and come up with some bright ideas for food to feed them.  

And then on Tuesday friends  of W's are arriving for a visit and we have tentatively agreed to meet them for lunch at the old Fort and then do the tour with them (a lot will depend on weather)

So I am off to tidy up the breakfast dishes and pull on my painting clothes........... I will leave you with day 38 of 365

 

 

Wibbly Wobbly

The above title comes from something a friend wrote back in November.  If memory serves me right (I did go looking but couldn't find the piece) it was a rather dark poem.... and was full of pain and heart ache.  Last night i found out that she and her partner had split up around the time of that poem.  I was shocked.  And then I wasn't.

This winter I have watched more than one poly relationship implode.  It all just adds proof to my belief that poly relationships are not meant to last/work,  OK OK I know someone is gonna jump all over me here cause their poly relationship is working fine - is all full of rainbows and sunshine and unicorns.  and my answer will be 'yeah come talk to me in a couple of years'.

I have read/noticed a couple of 'open letters' on Fetlife just recently - written by the primary submissive to the new girl coming in.............and I had a long discussion with someone who has tried poly (and please note she made it clear she would try it again if her Master wanted it - le sigh) Her main complaint was that when he was off playing with the new toy - she was at home doing the laundry - cooking the meals - cleaning the house - taking care of sick kids.  In other words living a real life.  This new toy was only for playing with and showed no interest whatsoever in the dirty lil secrets of 24/7.

Stud Dom really believes he can keep everyone satisfied and happily amused.  And when things go wrong - where does the finger pointing start??? at the females - because - dear god in heaven - they got jealous!!!???

My thought immediately is jealous?? well if the submissive's needs/wants/desires were being fulfilled would there be jealousy?? nah I don't think so - not as much.  BUT come on folks truthfully what male can keep all the plates spinning??? and yeah i am putting a whole lot of the responsibility on the Dom's shoulders cause ya know what???  from the folks I have met it was the Stud Dom who wanted poly - not the submissive.

So yeah..........wibbly wobbly - weebles are not supposed to fall down........... but they do...... and can't get back up...

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day 37 of 365

Seems appropriate to this blog entry - a bubble waiting to be popped

 


 

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Random Thoughts

 
Yesterday I tried to write a blog on random thoughts I have been having.  And for a number of different reasons I just didn't do it.

One of the problems was ....I couldn't seem to pull my thoughts/emotions from inside my head and get them out here........ just didn't happen.

I have been examining (in my own lil head) the differences between a wife, a roommate and a submissive.  (Sounds like the opening line to a good joke doesn't it?? But it's not - and it's not even close to being funny)

I realized I might be able to live with "wife" - but roommate??  Nope - the thought of roommate was breaking my heart.  But then when I looked closer at "wife" I realized that was breaking my heart too...

The only role I know or want is submissive.

My world was spinning out of control  --  again.

And then W beat me - with leather floggers and leather whips.  Beat me till I sobbed - loud heart wrenching sobs.   And somewhere in the middle of the beating W's mouth close to my ear asking "   Who loves me?"  and my answer "I do" and then "why do you love me" and I answered "because you beat me"  Familiar words - said so many times before - a mantra of sorts........... a way of picking up the pieces that were my world - putting them all back together again... setting it back on its axis and start it spinning once again........ 

All was once more right with the world....... I am not "wife".  I am not "roommate".
I AM submissive!

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day 35 of 365

Pride and Prejudice 2014

(day 34 of 365)

I have been involved in Gay Pride for almost as long as I have been involved in BDSM.  Gay Pride weekend (in Montreal) usually was the last big event of the summer for me - they hold their weekend in August.

A few years ago they changed the name from Gay Pride to Divercite/Diversity... to allow all the alternate lifestyles to participate.  Montreal's Pride - like so many other big cities was a crush of parties and people and drinking (and yeah drugs too).  It was a sea of bare breasts - all sizes, shapes and ages (dear god - AGES!!!  some breasts just shouldn't be exposed to public viewing!!   and W wonders why I keep mine covered and bound up in bras!!! - well at least in public)  It was a sea of males in leather chaps with their ass cheeks hanging out.  In short it was (IMHO) an effort to shock the straight community.  And they succeeded.  

At one point in Montreal there was a plea sent out to the masses to try and keep Pride low key - to have more "normal" families ... to have business men/women.. to have clergy.. to try and show the world that being homosexual didn't always mean outlandish or outrageous.  It didn't much work.

Anyway................ 

I noticed - in one of the events listings that I get - that Kingston was holding their Gay Pride celebrations this past weekend.  That they were celebrating 25 years!

I mentioned it to a few younger folk at a recent munch... asking if they were going to attend,  Their reaction was shocking to me.  They made it quite clear that they wouldn't have anything to do with those freaks!  WTF??!!  I honestly had hoped that the younger folk might have evolved into a more accepting/inclusive bunch.  Wrong!!!  And the thing that screamed at me - here were folks who do some of the most perverted (by definition) acts - compared to homosexual couples - more freakish by vanilla standards than even homosexuals - being prejudiced against gay folk AND calling them 'freaks'!  It was beyond my comprehension.

Anyway W and I decided to go down and see Kingston's Gay Pride on Sunday.  They had a fair going and the parade was scheduled to be at 1:00.  Now neither W nor I were expecting anything compared to Montreal .............. but what we saw was wonderful!  

It looked like a family day at the park.  There were children running around - there were bubbles being given out to all children (big and small) and one group had mixed up BIG bubble mixes and were blowing the most amazing bubbles - and the children were running around popping them...............

There were "furries" there playing with the children (now mind you - I have always thought "furries" were more on our side of the ledger - but HEY!  why not).......

There were the cross dressers............... 

and butterflies....

and teenagers......... 

 there were kids in wagons......... 

and pets in arms..........

even the Kingston police got into the spirit of the Parade.............

 and there wasn't one bare breast or bare ass........................



and at the end of our time at the park we had gourmet hotdogs in the shade. (if anyone is interested I had a Seattle Grunge hotdog and W had an Hawaii 5 0)

W put it best in his description of Kingston's Gay Pride "It might not be as big as Montreal or Toronto - but it had a BIG spirit!"