Random Thoughts

 
Yesterday I tried to write a blog on random thoughts I have been having.  And for a number of different reasons I just didn't do it.

One of the problems was ....I couldn't seem to pull my thoughts/emotions from inside my head and get them out here........ just didn't happen.

I have been examining (in my own lil head) the differences between a wife, a roommate and a submissive.  (Sounds like the opening line to a good joke doesn't it?? But it's not - and it's not even close to being funny)

I realized I might be able to live with "wife" - but roommate??  Nope - the thought of roommate was breaking my heart.  But then when I looked closer at "wife" I realized that was breaking my heart too...

The only role I know or want is submissive.

My world was spinning out of control  --  again.

And then W beat me - with leather floggers and leather whips.  Beat me till I sobbed - loud heart wrenching sobs.   And somewhere in the middle of the beating W's mouth close to my ear asking "   Who loves me?"  and my answer "I do" and then "why do you love me" and I answered "because you beat me"  Familiar words - said so many times before - a mantra of sorts........... a way of picking up the pieces that were my world - putting them all back together again... setting it back on its axis and start it spinning once again........ 

All was once more right with the world....... I am not "wife".  I am not "roommate".
I AM submissive!

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day 35 of 365