Falling out of Submissive Head Space

The title of today's blog entry was something that caught my eye on Fetlife this morning.  NOW I don't very often read comments/questions in the group sections.. over there anymore - it's just too treacherous - like swimming in shark infested waters - upset the majority and face public humiliation. 

BUT the comment this morning was one that I was drawn to answer............

The submissive wanted to know what to do when her Dominant was having problems (whatever the problems might be) and she had to help out.  She wanted to know how to do that without losing her "submissive head space".

 Well after I spewed my coffee all over the table - after I had muttered a string of profanities and wondered just how "stupid" she was......... I calmed down and answered her............... 

Why you ask?? Because I am so tired of folks in the BDSM community trying to live in some fantasy world.  One where the Dominant is always calm cool and collected.  One where the submissive is naked - in chains or ropes - pleasing the Dominant in every sexual whim they might have........... being the pampered little pet that is stroked and petted.

The reality is - LIFE happens on a regular basis.  And in my mind the measure of a good submissive is how well she rises to the occasion - how well she cares for her Dominant in the mundane parts of life...not how many times she gives her Dominant a blow job - or orgasms - or takes a whip or flogger - or any other fantasy measure of a good submissive.

And so I told her - I have been W's submissive for over 10 years and in that time I have cared for him when he has been sick/hospitalized.... when he lost his dad and his mom and his sister..............because caring for your Dominant is not just a sexual thing - not just a game we play - it is a promise  "in sickness and in health... good times and bad" ............ and I expect my Dominant to care for me in the same manner.  

BDSM is like a fine woven tapestry of the highs and lows of life,  Submissive head space is a state of being............not something that comes and goes .... blinks on and off.  It just is who I am!

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 day 44 of 365