Watch the clock - keep me a little bit grounded - tell me the time.
At first I growl, I curse, I stamp my foot, I wiggle and dance.
Strong hands hold me down, whispered voices in my ear.... then just a finger pressing in the small of my back.. and a stern "stay"
I feel the lift... I feel the body settle down into the rhythm
And then I am going going gone.
And bright colours explode in my head.
60 minutes gone - then 90 minutes is fast disappearing and another and yet another.. and soon there is nothing left to drain from my body .. my mind..
Sometime down the road of minutes there is a total sense of capitulation - take what you want - all you want - do what you will - offering up all my insecurities .., all my vulnerabilities ....... knowing you will keep me safe... you will keep me anchored by a thin strong thread to reality.
Trust lets me give everything over.... knowing that I AM safe .. no matter how open, how vulnerable I am... no matter how far I have gone. You are there holding tight to that thin thread....ready to bring me back.. to hold me and tell me everything is ok .. and I believe you and I repeat "everything is ok"
Because it is!
I can't tell you how happy I am to read that you feel you are in capable and caring hands. You deserve this happiness. You deserve the build-up, the anticipation, the capable hands, the reassurances, the aftercare, etc, etc. You deserve it all.
ReplyDelete