Wednesday, June 02, 2010


This morning I was doing some quick scanning of blogs I read.... and came across one where the submissive was saying how sad she was. How there hadn't been any "excitement" ........... that she was bored. What made her blog entry personal was a comment that said "be careful or you will land up like us - breaking up".

And that got me to thinking .......... excitement versus boredom. And how the hell to prevent boredom. I don't think you can.. avoid boredom that is .. not totally. Not if all you do .. day in day out.. is routine kind of stuff........ with play throw in as an after thought.

I have come to realize we are very lucky here in our corner of the Great White North... we have not one .. not two.. but four clubs that offer BDSM nights on a regular basis !! There is something exciting about getting dressed up to go out to a club. There is something to be said for the anticipation of knowing you are gonna be strung up or strung down .. and beaten in front of an audience.

There is something to be said for the anticipation of knowing you are gonna be beaten ............ not once ..but twice maybe even three times at these clubs!! And not one of those play times is gonna be the same as the one before. There is something to be said for playing with people who are imaginative and daring... and love excitement as much as you do.

As much as I hate... and I do mean HATE ... the anticipation .. the waiting for the week to be over... it does add a high level of excitement to the relationship!! It helps in our "down" times when we meet for coffee and just chat, that S&S manage to work in some suggestions of what is to come........... sometime in the future... just like trailers to an upcoming movie. More anticipation on top of anticipation.

Some dominants get the anticipation factor. I am going to visit the Heron Clan this summer. There have been just a few emails back and forth with hints - just hints of what might happen. When I read those emails .. my stomach tightens.. my skin vibrates.. my heart pounds.

They say that sex / orgasms are mostly in the brain........... I think BDSM is mostly in the brain too...... the build up of anticipation.. the excitement building.... I believe I wrote once .. a while back.. about how I had endured the anticipation.. the excitement only to have it all fall flat. And how I had dropped like a stone. Cause it had all been in my brain......... I had started that journey to the right mind set way before the actual time and then had had the rug pulled out from under me.

The building of excitement / anticipation is just like really good foreplay - if it is done properly then the sub is ready willing and able to go almost anywhere you want to take her.

I used to worry .. in fact I used to say .. "don't love me so much that you can't hurt me" I have no fear of that now....... but now I do hope things don't get so mundane .. boring.. that they forget to help build the excitement .. the anticipation.

Cause SURPRISE !!! is a wonderful endorphin rush in itself

And that is Just my opinion !

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous5:15 pm

    I totally agree it's all in the brain--if my wife, who is a sort-of-submissive-in-training, suddenly asserts herself or says something to make me feel less of a man during foreplay, it completely wipes out my desire. Fortunately, I can count on one hand the number of times that has happened!


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