Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Play Thing


There was a discussion over on Fetlife that I stumbled across that was titled "play is just sometimes fucking play" 

I read it with interest.

I have been on both sides of the argument.........

I know right now after 13 years of BDSM and play being serious shit - nothing to laugh at shit -- that I am totally enjoying the play aspect of it now. 

I have experienced two very different play styles over the last couple of months.  
With the Sadist - there are rules - like a fence around a playground - the rules help me to feel grounded and reassured cause I know exactly what to expect from him and he knows exactly what is expected of me.  And I need that, I realize - I really do - I need to know where I stand - what is expected and what I can expect in return.  It makes play fun and relaxing. They make me feel safe and valued and cared for.

The Daddy Dom relationship had no rules - no expectations.  I really struggle with that - oh it's play and it's fun - but not having that "fence around the playground" leaves me - I am not sure what the word is - ungrounded keeps coming to mind.  Feeling unsure of what is expected of me or what I can expect......  or even what I can ask for.

Play can be just fucking play -- and I know I can't ever go back to serious shit BDSM - nothing to laugh at shit ....... it's just not in me anymore.

BUT

I know for sure -- that there has to be guidelines or rules or something set down at the beginning so at least *I* know what the boundaries are - where the fences are around the play ground.

I need to feel safe and valued and most definitely cared about. 

3 comments:

AngelsQuest said...

I love that you've put this piece of the puzzle together. MrC would likely appreciate reading this.

morningstar said...

@Angelsquest - then you give him the link - truthfully I think he's a bit tired of my endless questions right about now LOL

MrCuning Linguist said...

Endless questions are always welcome.

I'm curious about thes "boundaries" you need.

I find it's easier to follow anothers goals at times than others. What if you actual set the boundaries as the bottom or masochist??

Sadist doesn't inherently mean Dominant. And neither does Daddy.

Also one doesn't have to be disappointed that someone doesn't follow your desires when you don't set them.

Something to think about.