Attitude

In a discussion with mini me last night she made the observation that I was hot - look at all the men that were interested in me. It/she embarrassed me.

Immediately I wanted to deny the hot thing - deny the men - but I heard one of my voices saying "when someone pays you a compliment just accept gracefully" 

So I did - I thanked her.

BUT seriously when I look in the mirror - I see ME - nothing more...... an older version of what I have always ever been.

Then mini me and I continued talking about an acquaintance - how "old" she acts and talks. And I said "it's her attitude"  and the penny dropped for me

Yeah I may have lost over 45 pounds over these last months - and I may be looking better than I have looked since the birth of my first child............ BUT I think it's my attitude. 

It certainly has changed in these last 3 - 4 months.  I realized that I could sit around feeling sorry for myself - be miserable - and make anyone who comes near me miserable - OR - I could improve my attitude.

It started with smiling more - and suddenly (it really did feel sudden) I was laughing - and joking and listening to people (rather than talking AT people) I had my first big leap of faith when I started dating and honestly didn't believe that anyone would want to "date" me and was floored at how many dirty old men wanted to not only date me - but they found me sexy enough to want to take me to bed ........ what a boost to my ego !!!

And ya know what ?? I started to actually believe I was a vibrant exciting desirable woman....... and when you believe - it's absolutely amazing how it becomes your truth.  You don't have to work at it anymore - it just becomes YOU.
and those nasty vile voices in your head aren't so loud any more - and slowly they are silenced!