Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Trip



We are going away this weekend... to a Leather/Fet fair... and then to a play party at Breathless - the very same Breathless that i wrote about in Through the looking glass

i have never ever been to a Leather / Fet Fair....... weird thing is .. i don't even like leather! But i LOVE fairs... and this one is free.. and there will be all sorts of vendors (maybe i will find a new toy - something new and special and different) and free workshops and all sorts of people who enjoy the lifestyle - same as me.. same as Sir.. same as Cloud.... that is exciting!!! AND Sir has booked a room in a hotel so we don't have to drive home late at night.. and get almost no sleep and be groggy and cranky the next day .. and i am VERY excited about that !!!

But Breathless.. we are going there again...... and as hard as i try to NOT think about the last time.. i can't help but be nervous... what is it they say about falling off horses.. get right back on??? Last night i told Sir i was happy to be going away this weekend.. and excited.. and He made some off hand comment about "my performing" ..... and of course immediately i have visions of stuff.. STUFF.. He will do to me at Breathless.. and STUFF maybe i won't be able to handle........ and STUFF that might just scare me and have me wimping out again...... STUFF that for the most part i can handle here at home... so what is it about doing this same STUFF at Breathless that scares me??

Maybe i need to remember i am His toy! and i gave Him the rights to play with "this toy" anyway He wants to ....... and maybe i need to remember that Sir will always take good care of me.. and will never let anything bad happen to me?? And maybe i just need to find my "center" and be calm.. and focused ...

Maybe ........ i just need to get back on that horse .............

3 comments:

  1. You.....DON'T......like..........LEATHER?

    Wow

    I wonder if surgeons have a secret loathing for scalpels?

    hehe

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL... The Michael - You are wicked !!!! and why can't i not like leather pray tell???? ewwwwwwwwww...

    But i adore wood... that is MY fetish.. wood wood and more wood.. You should see me in Home Depot.. wandering up and down the wood aisles just sniffing.. and sniffing with this weird glazed look in my eyes..

    morningstar (owned by Warren)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous5:28 pm

    I hope you have a wonderful time this weekend! I look forward to reading (or if I'm lucky, hearing) all about it after you return. And I just KNOW that you'll make your Sir very proud - you always do!

    Hugs to you.

    ReplyDelete

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