In yesterday's blog about being a pin cushion i received the comment that i was a "masochist"...... my immediate knee jerk reaction was to say "no bloody way!! not me... i am a pain slut - maybe - some days - but a masochist?? NEVER!" i have seen so many others who take so much more pain than i do.......... Our needle play is so light compared to some others (so light it is almost laughable).. hypodermics are not used.. (to answer the question from Princess and ke'chara the needles we use are acupuncture needles ) we do not create corsets with needles nor does Sir "sew" me shut with needles........
in my mind we were on the fringes of extreme play.......... looking in .. that is not to say one day maybe .. Sir will create a beautiful corset down my back with needles and pretty pink ribbon........... but for now .. we do what we do...... and i do not consider myself a masochist.........
Then this morning i decided to look up the word masochist in the dictionary.... i always thought it meant someone who self inflicted pain.. or accepted pain... craved pain ,... and in extreme amounts !! To my surprise i discovered the definition of masochist was simply - "one who derives pleasure from pain" there were no qualifiers... no levels.. just simply "experiences pleasure from pain".. WOW i am a masochist?? !! Isn't that a bad thing???
and if i am a masochist then Sir HAS to be a sadist right?? - definition - one who gains pleasure from inflicting pain on another........ Now funny thing is.. when i met Sir he was the "bondage guy".... most definitely NOT a sadist .. not even close.. the very thought of "hitting a woman" made Him turn the other way......... but somewhere along this road .. this journey... the Sir who came to teach me about bondage picked up a crop and discovered that there was just a little bit of a sadist inside Him..... (giggling.. ok ok.. more than just a little bit !!!)
Now i have a bit of a "philosophical" question here.... IF a masochist is one who enjoys pain.... and a sadist is one who enjoys giving pain......... can they be paired?? shouldn't the sadist withhold pain from the masochist in order to actually inflict pain?? (ok ok that is most definitely a bouncing ball moment!)
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Now along the lines of philiosophical questions..... Buffalo asked me who actually owns whom ?? Does the Dom own the sub or vice versa?? My pat answer was "how many angels dance on the head of a pin"... meaning it is an age old question that goes round and round.. with no concrete answer. Some believe that the Dom definitely owns the sub! Others believe it is actually the sub who picks the Dom.. owns the Dom.. and controls what goes on........... after alllllllll the sub has the safe word right??? or does she??
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Finally french maid ( i think ) misintrepreted my comment on Doms and selfishness.. probably my bad wording........ in my rant on stables and some Doms.. i noted that some Doms only get pleasure from punishing...and i asked what was wrong with a Dom needing to give pain..... and just giving pain because They wished to.. and could! That seems to me the best way of doing things.. sessions at the Dom's whim .. and how nice to be able to have one for no particular reason.......... punishments (in my humble opinion) have no place in a play session.........
and finally why the rant??? simple answer.. cause it is my blog and i can ! As i said at the beginning of that particular post.. i got riled up.... it happens sometimes.... i do not always have to agree with things i see around me.. or read... and i do believe sub or not.. i am entitled to voice my opinion.. especially in my blog.......... i do believe that there are "bad" people out there..... who use and abuse......... and i believe in speaking my mind when i see potential for harm.... (i hestitate to use the word "educate"........ but wouldn't it be nice if we .. as a community.. could educate - i remember a well intentioned group "the sss group" that was formed for just that reason) ....... oh wellllllllll that is a completely different subject.. best saved for another day.........
Yes, dear, you are indeed a masochist. You derive pleasure from pain, more pain than any vanilla woman or man would accept under any circumstance. And, yes, your Master is embracing his Sadistic side in order to feed your masochistic needs. Perhaps he had to overcome a natural squimishness in order to do it, but he CAN do it, so yes, he can be called a Sadist. Now, like all things, there are levels wherein we all find our comfort levels, and you both may have settled in yours, or, as is common, you will both push your limits in order to find them. It's in the extremes that behaviors such as this become pathological. To each their own, dear, just remember the examples set by women addicted to plastic surgery.......it's easier than you think to lose the ability to know when you've gone to far. Just tell any anorexic she looks like a death camp inmate and she'll think you're crazy.
ReplyDeletepsst.....next chapter up, if you're interested.
ReplyDeleteThe Michael wrote:
ReplyDelete"it's easier than you think to lose the ability to know when you've gone too far. "
that could be true.. but i know myself well (maybe some days too well !!) and i know my body and its limits -- as does my Sir (He might even know my body and its limits better than i do) ..
so no fear dear Michael.. this stubborn .. strong willed.. uppity sub can and will (if ever necessary) put her foot down and use her non existent safe word.....
i don't know..
"Stop Motherf*%$ker" works for me..... (cheeky grin)
morningstar (owned by Warren)
to me, masochism isn't about the actual degree of pain one receives, which can be physical or emotional. i believe it to be more of a preference, mindset or description than a judgement. enjoy whatever you enjoy, follow your intuition - no matter the label!
ReplyDeleterubyprincess
(royal masochist)
Well in my opinion a bondage guy is a sadist and Dom/Dommes own subs after the sub has given them onwnership. Of course my opinion as for heads of pins and fairies once you use your thumb to push the pin in the quantity would be much less.
ReplyDelete