Welcome to LOL (love our lifestyle) Day.......
I have been working on this post for over a week (mostly in my head)..... cause my lifestyle may look a little different from your lifestyle...... and certainly what I have today is a far cry from what I had 30+ years ago when I actively entered the scene.
So today's post is going to be broken up into "Then" and "Now" .......
When I first entered the scene - it was mostly private ..... by invite only....... secret handshakes and back alleys. It was exciting........
There was a dress code - strict behaviour rules - and rituals that made it all that much more heady.
Inside the privacy of the clubs there was a huge element of exhibitionism......literally being on display... both Dom and sub alike. BUT there was never total nudity and definitely NO sex. My 'uniform' for the clubs was usually a corset....... thigh high stockings.. and thongs. I learned very quickly that once laced into a corset you didn't slouch... you didn't sit sprawled - you 'perched' ... and oh dear lord you didn't EAT.
The Doms were always dressed entirely in black and often times in leathers.. leather pants, leather coats and leather boots.
There were usually numerous bits of equipment to use - from spanking benches to St Andrew Crosses to other forms of torture. My favourite piece of equipment was the St Andrew cross.... and most weekends would find me up on a cross getting my ass whooped....feeding the masochist
There weren't crowds and crowds of people in those days...... mostly serious participants and 24/7 couples. About 10 years ago things started changing..... BDSM clubs started opening around town...... they weren't private and more and more 'players' started to attend. Then it really started to go downhill when sex was allowed even encouraged (in some clubs). There was a saying among the old timers .. that S/m had a new meaning - it now meant "stand and model". The 'pretty people' dressed in expensive leathers and silks and satins could be found lounging around on the equipment - posing for photo shoots. We started looking for more private events again....... places where we could play without 'scaring' the players.
It seemed the glory days of BDSM had waned.
With Sir Steve - the lifestyle looks a whole lot different. I have been thinking about how it looks now....... I still 'serve' (which soothes my soul) BUT it isn't unthinkable for Sir Steve to come and lend a hand - be it making dinner or baking or shopping. We're a team...... no absolute clear division of top and bottom. And I rather like that. (though it took me a long while to get used to it)
There are little touches of BDSM in our life...... Sir Steve can 'grope' my breasts whenever the spirit moves him and I'm not to prevent him from doing so.... though if I do .. it's not a punishable offence - more an opportunity for more slaps and tickles and laughter. And my favourite....... in the morning when he leaves for work..... he bends over to kiss me goodbye and he thrusts his hand between my legs and teases me... until I am wiggling to get away.........
There are 'painful' moments in our adult time....... definitely pussy torture and breath play occasionally - and of course knife play from time to time.
Our lifestyle has changed drastically from 'before'...... do I miss the before?? yeah of course I do - well a small part of me misses it... I'm glad I got to participate/live the before.... but living in the past and moaning about how everything has changed takes the sparkle off the 'now'.......... and I do love the sparkle of the here and now
I may not have the socialization in real time with like minded folks as we did before - BUT I do still have The Continued Journey and all you folks who drop by to visit.
Thanks to Hermione for organising this day...... for suggesting that we all get together to celebrate our uniqueness ...... IF you feel like sharing the joys (and tribulations) of this lifestyle - feel free to jump in !!
Either way - thanks for dropping by............