I probably should have written this yesterday when I knew what I wanted to say - today......not so much (le sigh)
I think I am struggling with the whole idea of being submissive. Is it a character trait - or is it a learned thing? could you learn to be a submissive? See I'm wondering if I was ever submissive. OH I like to please... I like to make my lover happy...and will do everything in my power to make them happy....... BUT submissive? I'm not sure. I like to think I'm an intelligent woman. I like to think I am a strong woman. It takes a lot to be a submissive if you are a thinking person. I mean - come on... some of the rules I have seen submissives living with just didn't make sense to me..... like for example..every night this submissive I knew came home from work - he had to strip at the door and then do 15 jumping jacks. I asked why? The answer - cause it made his Mistress happy. REALLY?? What the hell is the point to that? (the jumping jacks I mean - not the making her happy) I had a slew of stupid rules like that too... I followed them cause to not follow them would have challenged my dominant - and put my relationship at risk. and a good submissive didn't challenge her dominant. (another stupid rule if you ask me)
IF there are going to be rules then the rules had better be intelligent rules.. make some sense. I used to feel like I was 'dumbing' down in order to be a 'good' submissive. And that just annoyed me. I remember the rule of always having to call my dominant "Sir" I asked why - and was told because it showed respect. I pointed out that there were many ways to show respect without using an honorific... to prove my point I would say "YES SIR" and mumble 'no sir - 3 bags full Sir' ....... not very respectful was it?
When I left that last D/s relationship - I promised myself I would never ever give over complete control ever again........ I realized I needed a relationship that was intelligent - that challenged me as an intelligent being....... not as a cowering simpering being giving blind obedience.
So tell me - what does submissive mean to you? What does it look like??? What is it you are all working towards ????