This 'n That

Got little bits of this 'n that - thought I would put it all together in one post and bring everyone up to date ...... 

abby of 'finallly finding me' left a comment on "Mind Games" ...... 

 I can sympathize with you..only instead of mind games..we call them my voices
 
 I used to refer to 'the voices in my head' all the time..... but honestly Sir Steve has quietened all those voices -- helped me be content in my own skin -- so I can't call them voices anymore -- just one voice ....... my insecure voice that still occasionally wonders if I am good enough.........

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On Friday when I put the lil one on the bus -- I asked her to find the 'reset' button and push it so that when she came back to us on Monday I would have MY lil one back!  and we could have a 'happy kingdom' again (she labelled our house that about 2 summers ago).

I will admit I was holding my breath when the bus pulled up Monday afternoon.... her little face was pushed against the window watching for me.... when she saw me she grinned a big huge grin!!  She flew off the bus and hugged me around the middle so tight!!!  She held my hand on the walk home as she was telling me about her weekend -- and she added "S I found the reset button and I pushed it really hard!"  We've had a wonderful week -- lots of laughter and hugs and 'I love you's' again..... 

So things are good again ----- until the next time

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I cut back my drugs again on Sunday night.  I am now counting down the months till I am clear of them...... 2 more months!!  The doctor warned me in September it could take up to a year to fully get me off the drugs...... I don't think there are too many of us who have been on this drug for 20 years.

I keep thinking the withdrawals are improving -- but they're not.  This month besides some nausea and a low grade 24/7 headache -- the muscle cramps have been a killer.  Tuesday night I hardly slept for the pain.  I couldn't find any spot in the bed that didn't press against the aches.  Yesterday I spent the day in a fetal position on the sofa barely able to move.  Sir Steve came home from work and hugged me and it felt as though my ribs were broken.... yeah it hurts that much!!  I won't even get into the emotional roller coaster I am on.........

Back in September I thought I would lose a whole mess of weight cause the nausea was pretty awful and I could barely eat.  Yeah well that passed ...... and now I am hungry all the time... not for meals but for munchies....... and more munchies and more munchies.   I have to admit I gave in....... and munched my way through December January February and March -- 10 pounds worth of munching ....... colour me sad and disappointed.  Truthfully I am not even promising myself once this withdrawal process is over that I will lose those 10 pounds or more .... I just can't face that now.

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And on a final note -- a very positive note........ 

We've had a really lucky week......... Sir Steve and the lil one won the draw at her dance school for $100.  Her last month of dance class is paid for AND there was enough money left over to buy her a purple hoodie with her name on the sleeve and the dance school logo.   

AND yesterday I won a dinner for two - a 3 course meal at our absolute favourite restaurant here in town!!  

Those two on top of Sir Steve's raise last week and we're pretty excited about our good luck!!

There's no school tomorrow so the lil one heads off to Mom's tonite and I have one extra free day to limp towards the weekend.........

Life is good when you have a mix of good and not so good.......