Friday, January 19, 2018

Lies My Mother Told Me..........

For years and years and years I was told to never lie -- to always tell the truth ...and to give people the benefit of the doubt.  AND to live a good life following the rules and laws. And I would come out on top!

However the hardest thing I have had to deal with in this custody battle is how much they LIE and bend the truth and smile sweetly innocently and plead they are the ones hard done to. 

In court and with CAS the mother puts on the perfect mother act -- the poor mother act -- the misunderstood - mistreated mom.  She has done nothing wrong.

I do not have proof beyond a doubt -- but pretty damn close that they are doing their best to alienate the lil one from her father and myself.  Last night was the lastest example -- "where's my skate board that mommy gave me " asked while she was in the bath -- "where did you put it"?  We gave it back to mommy -- it's not age appropriate .......... she acted as though she didn't believe us.  We have gut feelings that she has been led to believe we have thrown out all her special toys given to her by my mommy...... reinforced by the comments of the CAS worker who was suprised -- genuinely surprised that there were pictures on her walls of mommy and family and toys filling the shelves.

BUT let's not get long winded -- let's look at documentations (that can be backed up by independent folks -- so not innuendos from us) 

1) Mother couldn't get the child to shower for her during the summer
2) Mother didn't have soap to wash the child
3) Mother lost the child any number of times during the summer and would wander over to our campsite (and other sites) and ASK if anyone knew where she was
4) one of those misplaced child episodes -- the child was found by an independent camper down at the front gate at the beach unsupervised
5) the mother has no boundaries or sense of personal space and would come up on our deck uninvited -- one time even opening our trailer door without knocking
6) Mother goes away for weeks on end (4 trips since May and another coming up in a week or so) and never once calls her lil one to say hello -- and rarely gives us more than 48 hours heads up about her not being able to take the lil one for her visitation

Fast Forward to Fall 
and accusations we weren't keeping mother up to date on progress at school............

1) we sent homework over a weekend -- assignment to practice printing the lil one's name -- it wasn't done and we had to do it Sunday night
2) rhyming words  were to be practiced over the weekend -- never done
3) last Thursday trip to Emerg and a prescription for ventolin and aero chamber -- Sir Steve tried to explain how to use it -- Mother shut him down and said her mother - the grandmother would do it
4) hospital bracelet was left on so the lil one could show the teacher on Friday and mommy.  The bracelet was not removed till Sunday evening -- when Sir Steve cut the bracelet off the wrist was red and rashy and in parts was like raw hamburger meat.  We have spent 5 days treating it and it still looks like this...............

BUT none of this counts in court......... poor lil mother -- needs another postponement to get her ducks in a row.  The law says cases like this must -- MUST - be closed in a 12 month period.  We are currently on 16 months -- and now have another 2 month delay.

AND we keep hearing that we must realize these delays are in the best interest of the child -- finding the BEST solution for the child.  It boggles my mind!!!
What are the courts waiting for -- the child to be abducted from the front gate of the campsite where the weekenders camp -- folks we don't know -- who come and go and are never seen again?? For the child to be playing in the lake unsupervised and drown?? for the child to get hit by a car??  For something more serious than a rash from a hospital bracelet that was neglected?? 

What's the point of living a good life -- of being kind to liars and cheats -- giving them second and third chances??  Good guys do seem to finish last -- and in this case the child is the one who will suffer the consequences -- if something doesn't happen soon!


  1. Gosh it sounds dreadful. the problem with these things is that usually something REALLY bad has to happen before they come to their senses and say, oh perhaps we should rule in favour of the dad. I don't know why they can't rule preventatively and only do so reactively. Hang in there.

  2. Anonymous9:48 pm

    I am sorry you are going through this nightmare. From experience I can tell you a few things about this:
    1. Court only works if both parties are honestly participating, mom is not and won't.
    2. She will continue her subpar care of the child. Just do your best, that is all you can do you can't make up for it. And the mom will always have a ready excuse.
    3. Court almost always sides with the mom no matter how stellar dad is. It sucks and it will continue.
    4. Never tell mom of your plans unless you HAVE to, trust me she will make every effort to ruin them.
    5. The little one will figure it out when she is older and all the lies come to light. She will come to you for the truth.
    6. Don't let this break you apart, no matter what!!!! Then mom wins this is what she wants.


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