Sunday Sentiments

Long Weekend

It's Friday morning and I am supposed to be getting ready to head off to Kingston for the long holiday weekend.  

I stopped to write a blog........... I even posted it........... but it's gone now........... It seems that my ability to write cold and post is suffering from some sort of anxiety.  I have saved it and perhaps with an overhaul it will re-appear some time in the future.

For now I am gonna pack up the car and get to Kingston - to W.  Hopefully when I am there I will feel more grounded - less insecure - less "je ne sais quoi"........ hopefully!

If I don't get back on here over the weekend - I hope everyone has a joyous long weekend filled with all the fun activities your heart desires........... 

May the sun shine - the birds sing - and may you all feel the rebirth that spring brings. 

Not far .......

I know I haven't been around much this week.  But trust me I am not far.  Just sitting here on this side of my pc staring at the screen willing the words to come.  

BUT they aren't coming.

Maybe it's writer's block - maybe it's just spring - a full moon???(I know from the nonsense at school SOMETHING is wrong with the universe)

OR maybe...... and this is gonna sound downright stupid I am sure... I am overwhelmed by the feedback from the article I cross posted to Fetlife.  All I could think when all the "loves" and comments were flowing in for about 3 days was "I can never match this ever ever again".  Maybe my brain has believed the propaganda produced by my brain..... ya think??? 

Whatever the reason, whatever the cause - I promise I will be back when the fog clears and the words come tumbling out again..............  

This 'n That

I haven't done a bouncing ball post in a while - so I figure I am allowed..........follow along and do keep up.............

It was a "me" weekend - well that was the plan.......... there was an "open house" here yesterday so I had made up my mind that on Saturday I would clean and sparkle it - spread a little fairy dust and hope.............

Only problem (not a major one - but still a problem) was that Saturday I felt like crap.  I had been so damn tired all week.  I kept putting it down to the relief from the "benign" diagnosis on Tuesday - and 5 months of stress.  But by Friday night I realized that the stuffy nose I had had for 3 weeks was still around.  (It is amazing how the body doesn't acknowledge a small thing like a head cold when one is facing a cancer diagnosis) I toyed with the idea - even mentioned to W that maybe on Sunday - if I was still snuffy - I would go to the clinic during the open house and get it checked.

Cleaning on Saturday however became a lesson in patience.  Clean a bit and lie down.  Pack a box to move to Kingston and lie down.  Spruce up a bathroom and lie down.  Do a load of laundry and lie down. (get the picture??)

During one of my lie down periods - the front door bell rang.  I opened it to find a little chinese woman standing there.  On the sidewalk was her (apparent) husband pushing a stroller with a 2 year old and a tween standing with him.  The woman looked a wee bit surprised to see me. (at the time I thought wrong house - the one oriental family in the area lives 3 doors down from me) 

But I was wrong - after some bowing and scraping and explaining that they had been walking around and noticed my chinese garden plagues on the back wall - they assumed a chinese family lived here.  And in her best English she explained they had seen my house for sale on the net.  They had also seen the "open house" sign perched in the front snow bank.  Was this the house for sale??  Then after much jabbering with husband on the sidewalk - she asked if they might see the house TODAY!  

I was hesitant because I felt like shit - the house looked like shit - and isn't my agent supposed to do this shit??? BUT I let them in and they wandered around looking - loved the back yard - loved that I heated with gas - loved that the 3 bedrooms were upstairs...... talking to them was certainly a lesson in "pigeon english".  (Afterwards I thought they might have been more fluent in French - being immigrants) They were missing some vocabulary to buy a house - like they wanted to know if I would give them a "discount"??!!  I said "negotiate" and they insisted on "discount".  (le sigh) 

I finally convinced them they should return on Sunday and talk to my agent - and so with much bowing and scraping they left me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday morning I woke feeling much better - snuffy nose wise.  I dropped W an email saying as much and He wrote back saying "GO TO THE CLINIC".  Being a good subbie - I followed his orders. (of course it did help that by 11:00 the snuffles were back).  I had it all planned out - I would go to the clinic over the lunch hour when surely there wouldn't be too many sickies and be out of there in a flash.  Then I would call eldest daughter and see if we could have coffee while the open house was going on here.... then I would come home give myself a manicure and wile the evening away.

Remember the post I wrote on Saturday entitled "Reality"??? Well I cross posted it to Fetlife ((I do that sometimes).  Imagine my shock and surprise when I logged on Sunday morning to see that it had kinda caught on....... I had 100+ loves and 20 some odd comments.  It felt good.  But I had miles to go before my day was mine again - so I closed down the computer and dragged my ass off to the clinic.  

It was packed.  I checked in - found a chair near the doorway and curled up with my book and prepared for a wait.  It was 12:30.  Around 2:00 triage got around to checking me...... I would live so I was sent back to my hard plastic chair with a number - 633.  They were at 608.  It was 5:30 before the doctor got around to seeing me.  (so much for coffee with eldest daughter!!) I have a sinus infection - surprise!! surprise !!!  I got a prescription for some drugs and headed off to the drug store.  Where - surprise!!  surprise!!  I got to take a seat on yet another hard plastic chair and wait my turn.  20 minutes later I left with my pills in hand.  

By the time I got home I just wanted to curl up on the sofa - all thoughts of manicures gone.  I turned on the pc and got the shock of my life......... my ramblings on Reality had hit an all time high - for me........ over 200 loves and 50 + comments.  I honestly felt overwhelmed.  I may never cross post again - how can I live up to the hype??!! 

By 9:00 I was safely tucked into bed and looking forward to a long good night's sleep........... BUT .......... something woke me at 4 and here I sit (cursing) writing and wondering how in god's name I will ever get through the day .............. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ohhhhhhhh and as for the open house - I haven't heard from my agent yet..... I have no idea if my lil chinese family showed up again.... obviously if they did they didn't make an offer...... cause then I would have heard from my agent.  There were people through the house though - as my freshly washed white sparkling tiles by the front door are all muddied and marked.  

And that was my weekend................ 

 

Sunday Sentiments

The Reality is...........

I have been thinking (for a number of reasons) about sub frenzy.  Ya all know what I am talking about - or you should.  It's that time when you discover BDSM and all your fantasies suddenly become a strong possibility and you run around like a chicken with it's head chopped off trying to live all those fantasies immediately.  Remember now???

This sub frenzy is in reality a wonderfully exciting place to be......... 

BUT the reality is.................. 

You can't be chained to the bed 24/7 - nor can you live in a cage - nor can you ignore the vanilla world 24/7.  Life on the outside of your fantasies still goes on.  There is still food to buy - doors to answer - family to look after - meetings to attend......... the mundane every day world is still there expecting you .. yes YOU ... to contribute.

I believe there is also a Dom frenzy of sorts.  I don't know much about it - except what I have witnessed.  (so I could be wrong - not likely - but I am putting it out there just the same - I could be wrong).

Dom frenzy is the thought of having some mindless lil thing kneeling at your feet waiting to do your biding.. hanging on to every word you say..... laughing at all your silly jokes ....... blindly trusting you...... following you around like a happy little puppy dog, tail wagging, thinking you are some sort of GOD. 

Dom frenzy is in reality a wonderfully exciting place to be........ 

BUT the reality is.......... 

You can't play GOD 24/7 - it is bloody tiring. In reality it is hard enough to run your own life never mind running someone else's.  You can't be dressed in leathers all the time - wielding a whip and sounding stern and domly all the time.  Life on the outside of Your fantasy world still goes on........ bills to pay - car maintenance - work - family to look after - the mundane every day world is still there expecting you ..... yes YOU ....... to contribute.

Never mind health issues that afflict both sides of the fence - dom and sub.  It may be difficult to believe when you are a 20 something or 30 something dom/sub.  BUT life has an amazing way of sneaking up and slapping you upside the head when you least expect it.  Health issues are the great fantasy destroyer.  (trust me on this one) 

And when the time comes that you can't be the mindless kneeling sub chained to the bed doing his bidding 24/7 OR when the domly body starts to age and things just don't jump to attention like they used to - or you spend more time trying to get the energy up to flog that subbie's ass than you do actually flogging...... You realize reality is bigger and stronger than that fantasy you have been desiring.

Now the challenge becomes finding a middle of the road BDSM lifestyle that actually is based on reality not fantasy.

Of course there are those that refuse to let go of their fantasy world - and continue to run around like chickens with their heads chopped off - playing at being submissive or dom.  But take a look - those folks aren't doing it 24/7 - nope they are doing the real life face to face only occasionally.  They rest up for it... they train for it... they play it for a couple of hours or so.  Then they run back to the safety - the REALITY - of their worlds and curl up on the sofa and turn on the television or the computer and sigh a great sigh of relief that they can be themselves.

I say............

I would rather be my subbie self with all the complications of real life.  I want to be REAL.  I want to build my BDSM world on the reality of what I can do in reality - not try and be something I am no longer.  

And I believe that by being REAL - I will be the best submissive anyone could want.  I believe that by being REAL you will be the best submissive or dom you can be......... and in my world REAL wins hands down over fantasy every day.
 

The Fine Art of Communication.

I have a lil guy at school - i have been working with him for 3 years.  He has aspergers syndrome.  He is extremely bright so I don't work on tutoring or any form of academics.
 We work on skills needed in life....... like not having major melt downs.... that's how my lil guy handles problems - he curls up in a ball and howls.  He sounds like a wounded animal.  

We work on communication skills (for lack of a better term).  Things like looking at people when they speak to you - keeping eye contact - using appropriate / socially accepted and expected greetings........ like "hello. how are you?" and "good-bye have a good weekend".  My lil guy is blunt - he wants to know why he should ask how someone is if he doesn't really want to know........ or why he should say "good-bye" if everyone knows he is leaving cause after all he has his coat on and is going out the door.

He is one of the few I will miss terribly when I retire in June.  He makes me think, he makes me smile and he challenges me.

I was thinking about communication skills with him the other day.  And then cause that's how my brain works - I was thinking of all the 'normal' adults who don't understand the basics of communication and making someone feel like you are "hearing" them.

We (my lil guy and I ) work very hard to keep eye contact when talking - we work very hard at putting down what we are doing....... look the other person in the eye and talk to them.  

And then I go through my life and watch adults - with no excuse - talking while they are texting on their smart phones - or are typing on their computers - or watching television - or obviously listening to something else.  And I realize I feel that my words - my thoughts - ME - are not all that important.  Because.......... if they were ......... in my world .... people would put down what they are doing and LISTEN.  

I have been to BDSM munches recently where the majority of those there have their smart phones out on the table and they are constantly checking the messages streaming in - and answering them.  It reminds me of high school where the girls would cluster together and whisper and gossip.  

Take a minute and think about someone who makes you feel special - with whom you feel a special bond - even a special friendship bond.  I will bet you that when that person talks to you they look you in the eye - both when they are speaking and when you are speaking.  They make you feel special - they make you feel that what you have to say is important.  They do one thing....... LISTEN.

And I will bet their body language and facial expressions make you feel they are listening and are enjoying their chat with you.  I will bet they smile at you and lean towards you. I will bet their facial expressions will change to suit the words.  They aren't stone faced - with one eye looking elsewhere.

People are so quick to say "communication is the most important part "of BDSM - of LIFE - yet so few people actually know how to communicate.  People are so self absorbed - so sure that what THEY have to say is more important than anything you have to say..... I bet most people are framing their response to you while you are still making your point.  

People for some reason like me.  Take to me.  I never really understood why.  Until yesterday.  A parent was talking about how much they were gonna miss me when I retire - that the person taking my place will have big shoes to fill.  And truthfully I was confused.  Anyone ....... ANYONE........ can do my job.  And I said so.  This parent said "no one will listen like you do." And those words made me stop. All those lessons I learned when I was child about "listening" and "talking" took, I guess.  I do it all now without consciously thinking about it......... and obviously it works. 

And so - for the next 3 1/2 months I will continue to work with my lil guy - try and teach him about eye contact - and body language and making people feel that they really do matter.  And I will continue to grind my teeth and silently mourn the loss of communication skills with the adults in my world.

Communication is so much more than words strung together in a sentence.  Communication should be a bond (if even only for a few moments) between two people.
 

 

March 20th

No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow.  ~Proverb

I knew - though it didn't register - that the day after my doctor's appointment was the first day of spring.  It was hard to see the spring through the snow storm that ravaged my world on Tuesday..... very hard.  It was hard to see anything positive on that day. 

And then the words "benign" registered and spring sprung - full bloom in my mind. The world is full of possibilities and promises.

faith - updated

i do indeed believe in magic............ and all the support i get from my readers........... the doctor said "benign"

 It is my new favourite word B E N I G N !!!  

oh and kaya - i won't be joining your hystro club - not for a long time (i hope)!!!!

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I go at 12:30 today to get the results of the biopsy and all the other tests.  I could really use some fairy dust or 4 leaf clovers or good vibes - something today.  I AM trying really hard to believe it will all come out ok. 

Sunday Sentiments

I don't know - but after my last post - and thinking about the rules Sir likes in place - this Sunday morning sentiment seemed very appropriate!!!

Mea Culpa

I made a mistake.  I admit it.  I should have read between the lines of Sir's blog entry more carefully than I did.  I should have paid attention.

And for all my commenters who told me (bluntly and otherwise) to TALK to Sir rather than blog about it....... I did.  Actually I did that the day I wrote the blog entry.

Just for the record - I am human - I do make mistakes - AND I do acknowledge them and apologize for them when made.

No Happily Ever After?

Just when my dream was so close - dream of 24/7 with my Sir - everything seems to fall apart........... 

Read what W wrote HERE and let me know what you think............

i believe it is my fault btw.....all my fault............

March

bob asked 
Who decided this lifestyle you or your Master


Well bob - I was in the lifestyle way before I met W (who is Sir to me at his request not Master).   W was into bondage only.  When we collided the world exploded - for both of us.

Originally our getting together was only to teach me about ropes and bondage.  There was never any intent of it going any further.

I enjoyed the ropes but they ......ummmmm... didn't scratch the itch I had - the itch being my need for pain.

Then one day Sir picked up a crop and while I was hog tied to the bed he used it on me and that is when our world exploded.  Slowly over time Sir learned to enjoy inflicting pain on me in many different ways and with many different implements.  I learned to wiggle out of his ropes. (just call me Houdini)

Then slowly over time again we started introducing D/s to our relationship.  My waiting on his every need.  Way back when (when the dinosaurs roamed the land) I had been trained as a service sub......... it felt good to be serving again.  Sir loves protocols - especially HIGH protocols ...... and He trained me to serve to His specifications.  (One Dom will train one way - another Dom will have different needs - therefore one needs to be flexible for more than bondage - cheeky grin)

After all these years together we are starting over again (now that's a long story and definitely not for today's post) ........... where we will journey this time is anyone's guess....... but I am hoping for a return to D/s and bondage and pain and a wonderful mix of everything we need to have a full and happy life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and that brings me to the end of the questions prompted by this blog entry.  
If you have any more questions - please feel free to leave them in the comment section and I will answer them.  It makes coming up with a daily post so much easier - dontcha know !! 

March

Hil said...
What do you think is the most important thing that you will need to change as you make the change from long distance relationship to full time live in both from a kink and vanilla perspective.


If you have read here for any time you know I am not very good with "change".  But "mama didn't raise no fools" either.  So long before we found the house in Kingston - W and I did some serious talking.  

Funny enough the hardest thing for me to tell him was I didn't think I would be able to handle his need for constant noise - radios or televisions or music....... something always going on.  I asked W if I could have a "quiet" room - somewhere I could escape to when the noise got too much for me.  And so I have a little room on the top level of the house that is my "quiet" room.  

There are lots of other things that will be difficult to adjust to /change - BUT we will work them out.  

As for BDSM - I think the hardest thing will be getting back to full D/s mode.  It has been so long since we had "protocols" that - sadly - I have forgotten more then I remember...... and I know that is something that disappoints W more than anything else.  After a week with him (last week) I realize how far I have slipped from the lifestyle we had only on weekends up to this point.  

I would like to ask W to help me......... to re-train me - but I fear he will be discouraged.  So my plan is to follow as many of the protocols that I DO remember - and hope that with time W will see I am serious in doing the D/s again..... that I am very serious in being the best submissive I can be.   

I may not like change - BUT - I do love W and will do anything I have to to make his life easier and happier.

March

Getting back to the March questions that come from this blog entry.............

OK I promise not to ask the one about where babies come from :)
A medical condition forbids me from flying so I am asking this purely out of curiosity.
If a kinkster, on this side of The Pond, were to ask you what is the most interesting town in Canada for BDSM and/or Spanking interests, where in your opinion is the kink capital of Canada?
Prefectdt

 geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez Prefectdt - the baby question???!!!  ugh !!  can I buy you a "how to" book??? (cheeky grin)


But getting to the serious part of your question.................. 

I had some subbie friends over for coffee when I was in Kingston - and I presented the question to them.  Laughingly we all crossed Kingston off any potential list. 

Then I named off cities and we were left with Vancouver, Toronto, Montreal, and St. John's.

I'm a little disillusioned with Montreal - there are rare munches - not that many public parties - and if you have french you might improve your odds of finding something to do.

I was told Vancouver is having some problems - something about a lot of "outings" just recently which would make it difficult to find public events to attend (I would think)

St John's - is a beautiful city - but secluded and not a whole lot to do when you aren't doing BDSM.

And that left Toronto.  When we discussed it - we all agreed - Toronto would be the city we would recommend........... lots of munches - good shopping - plenty of public play and a few recommendable Pro-Doms :)  Also Toronto has a busy vanilla social life.  

Sunday Sentiments

March

Ok so yesterday I decided to succumb to the ever popular Q&A month (after many years of unsuccessful attempts to elicit questions out of you the readers) 

Imagine my surprise when I had 6 questions waiting for me !!  I will answer one question a day - which should fill up about 5 days of blog entries.  IF anyone else wants to throw out a question or two - please feel free to leave them in the comment secion...................... 



bob said...What are you going to do when you retire in 4 months
Ordalie said...Yes, what are you going to fill your days with after retirement? 

A lot of folks have said I won't be happy being retired - I will be bored and restless.  Folks love to nay say - and to be pessimist I think.  I have been thinking about retirement for a few years now (hell after 30 years doing virtually the same job - I would think just about anyone would start thinking about "what next")

I have every intention of taking the first few months - and playing at being a lazy old sod.  Look into my options and take my time making final decisions.  

I do know though - that I have every intention of going back to school.  I have always wanted to take some classes in photography.  I have no intention of starting a new career - but I do intend to work hard at perfecting my hobby.

I also want to take the blank slate that is our backyard - and see if I can't try my hand at some garden design.  My dream is to have an oriental garden in the back yard - complete with a water feature and a pagoda.

I have been giving some serious thought to some Tai Chi classes.  I had a friend once upon a time who took Tai Chi boxing (I think that is what it was called) the boxing didn't interest me but the graceful flowing motions of Tai Chi did. 

I am also toying with starting a submissive group up here in Kingston.  There has been some very positive feed back to that idea ............. (which is still an idea bouncing around in my addled brain)

And of course - I intend to make damn good use of the beautiful new kitchen W had built for me here.  It will be a working kitchen - not just some pretty eye candy.  In fact this week I have had some fun actually dirtying it up................here's some proof - last night's dinner

 

   

( honestly the pictures don't do justice to the dinner - you will just have to trust me when I say it wasn't a soupy mess)





Bob - I know there was a second part to your question - but I am going to save that for another day

March

 

Traditionally the month of March is Q&A month in blogville.  However in the past when I have tried to do a Q&A theme no one really asked any questions.

So this year I wasn't going to do it at all - wasn't even gonna mention it.

That is until this morning.

I have had a blog bopping around in my head for a day or two.  A blog that - quite truthfully - shouldn't be written.  The problem is - the more I say I won't write it - the more it comes to mind.  And nothing else worth writing seems to jump in and
fill  the space here on The Journey.

So folks - if you care anything about my sanity -  a few questions would be very nice - they'd give me something generic to write about - and ease the burning in my brain.

So who wants to go first???

Questions anyone??

Real life versus On line

I have always believed that real life beats on line hands down,  However for the last 6 months - W and I have had more on line experiences (for the most part) than real life.  (and you can all get your minds out of the gutter - we have NOT been having cyber sex!! cheeky grin)

For the most part I have been living the kitchen renovations on line.  W has been very very good at keeping me up to date on the work while it was going on.  He sent me pictures of just about everything - every little step of the way. 

He even sent me a picture of the appliance cupboard with the fancy lift shelf that will - with a slight tug on the handles bring my brand spanking red Kitchen Aid mixer out and up and ready to rock and roll.  

BUT

arriving here Sunday - getting to stand in the middle of the kitchen - smelling the new wood smell - opening cupboards and closing them (actually watching them close on their own) was spectacular.  SO much better than looking at pictures!! Standing in the middle of this top of line kitchen was as good as an orgasm............ (well almost) 

And then yesterday we went out and bought a brand spanking new microwave to fit on the microwave shelf........................ 

 

Last night I cooked our first dinner in the new kitchen - meat loaf and mashed potatoes - not exactly a gourmet meal for such a gourmet kitchen - but with time...................

oh yeah I am here to say - real life beats on line hands down - be it a new kitchen - or   hugs and snuggles - and hopefully some spankings too.......   no one will convince me otherwise!!  
 

Sunday Sentiments

After yesterday's blog post - this Sunday Sentiment seemed very appropriate!

P.S. I am leaving this morning to drag my screaming cat and a mess of other stuff up to Kingston to spend spring break with W.  It's definitely past time for me to "experience" my new kitchen in real life ........... and bare my ass for W.  He says I have more than a few coming to me (cheeky grin) I certainly hope so....... I worked damn hard on that goal!!

Yes I am Strong.......... but

When I was a young woman - raising my children - Helen Reddy had a song out that became my mantra........... I never did learn all the words - but the important ones stayed with me - even to this day.

"And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

 You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul"

You come here and read my words - but honestly you don't know me - not my "story".  I haven't told many people my "story" because it didn't seem important.  I was there....... now I am here.  And here is all that should matter.

But I realize after the emails and comments on my blog posts about Valuing Yourself, that folks maybe need to hear a little more of MY story.. I was not born this way....... in many ways my story is very much like yours...... I was bent - but not broken - I grew determined....... I grew strong.

I was told (over and over again) that I would be "pretty" when I ___________ (fill in the blank) when I lost weight - when my teeth were straightened - when - when - when.  I never actually got there.......... there was always another "when".

I wanted to be a teacher - more than anything in the world.  But my father told me "those who can DO - and those who can't teach!  YOU are MY daughter and therefore you WILL do - not teach!" 


I was sexually abused from the age of 9 till 15.

So NO I do not speak from a place of strength and great value.  I worked my way there - slowly and surely.  One step forward two steps backwards.  At one point I just refused to lie down anymore.  I left my husband and decided I would rather live hand to mouth and be happy and content - then to continue down the path I had been put on.  

It took standing up to my mother (father was dead) and saying yes I would indeed go through with the divorce (first family member EVER to get a divorce) She cut me off - financially and emotionally - my whole family cut me off emotionally - I was alone - and I struggled forward to find my strength ....... my value ........... my happiness.

  I don't talk about it - I don't whine or complain about it - BECAUSE I realize that the stuff I went through is what made me strong.  I would not be the person I am today if it hadn't been for all those yesterdays.  And yes sometimes I have very little patience with folks who whine and complain about their upbringing...... and say to me "you can NOT understand"........... and in many ways they are right - I can't understand - because it is up to each and every individual to decide what they want from life and to go after it......... it is up to each and every person to decide if they are gonna live the life that was taught them - or if they are gonna change their direction. 

If you can't read the words in the picture above I will put them here so that you can indeed read them easily................

 "Sometimes the strongest woman
is the one who loves beyond 
all faults and unconditionally
will give herself fully
to the one she loves
will stand on her own
and fight her own battles
fend for herself because 
she always has
but doesn't mean she always wants to
doesn't expect anything
from anyone
will stand straight and fight
will say "all's fine" if asked
yet will cry behind closed doors
and fight battles that no one knows about."

 so you have the choice - no matter your age or circumstances- to lie down and take it - or to stand up and fight back.  be bent - but not broken.  find that conviction in your soul.

LEARN TO VALUE YOURSELF......... and put a high price on you !!

Just a little smile

( a story from the internet)


As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Apparently, I’m still lost… It’s a man thing.