Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Penance or punishment or consequences - a rose by any other name is still a rose.
i have been thinking... for obvious reasons....about penance / consequences/ punishment. Who is it for?? Who feels better after the penance/punishment is done???
i have decided (in my infinite wisdom) that punishing is really for the wrong doer. The punisher gets nothing from it......... not really.
For instances - if something is stolen from me and the thief is caught - but my property is gone, his saying he is sorry or his being fired or even his going to jail does nothing to make me feel better. My property is gone... no more.
What if someone hurts me.......... hurts my feelings... or worse my spirit.. and they decide to apologize... do those simple words make the hurt the pain disappear?? nope not at all.. but they feel better and can say i did everything i was supposed to.. i have a clear conscience.
But what about me?? Is the wound gone.. the hurt vanished, the spirit lifted because of an apology. No.
Maybe i am weird...... but honestly i think penance is for the one doing the penance - to make them feel better... i get nothing out of it.
Ok ok..i hear their words, maybe even the emotions they feel for doing such shameful deeds......... i will forgive them (because in my lil world that is what happens - one forgives) but deep down inside do i feel fine?? No...... i have learned a tough lesson... and the lesson i take away from the incident is probably worth more than the penance done.
Am i saying i don't believe people should do penance / take their punishments /own up to their wrongs?? No not at all.... after all it is what i teach my kiddies - "say your sorry" but i always add .... and show you are truly sorry by never doing that again.
Because words are cheap.
Actions speak louder than words
And honour should always win out over dishonour.