Thursday, September 29, 2005
i feel violated......... and nothing THAT bad really happened.. but still.. the feelings persist. Today.. on my lunch hour.. to try and save some time .. i ran to get groceries........ i was rushing and only took my wallet instead of my big purse. i rushed through the store .. picked up the few things i needed... and went through the check out - one eye on the clock. i put my wallet down on the counter while i loaded the bags into the cart to take out to my car....... rushed outside .. put the bags in the car.. then ........ you guessed it! realized i did not have my wallet. i rushed back into the store but it was gone.. and of course no one knew anything about it. i felt sick.. i still feel sick and violated.
What allows a person to steal something that does not belong to them?? It boggles my mind!! i believe a good part of it stems from some lack of code of ethics. Once a child stole something from my desk.... when i spoke to the parent i was told "ohhhhhhhhh johnny didn't STEAL it.. he just took it !" Took it??!!! was it his?? no.. it was mine.. therefore it is stealing.. simple as that to me.... You take something that is not yours it is stealing!!
Many years ago.. i went to the banking machine (ATM) and took out some money.. my children were with me.... in the batch of money was a $50 bill. i was floored and went into the bank.. one child asked me why i was returning it....... i said .. "because it is NOT mine!"
Life seems so simple to me.... right and wrong.. black and white (ok ok some grey areas thrown in for good measure) ... i am a simple person i guess.... and when something like this happens to me i feel violated. It only took me an hour to cancel my credit cards and ATM card...... phone the license bureau and find out what to do now and how much it is gonna cost me.. BUT the feelings inside will last a long long time... how can someone take something that is not theirs???!!! Where have the honest people gone????
Thank god for Sir....... when i was little tiny broken pieces .. i called Him.. His voice so far away soothed me.. telling me the world had not come to an end.... it happens.. W/we will fix it and everything will be alright again.......... He is right....... but i still feel violated....