Wednesday, September 07, 2005


S.A.M. is a smart assed masochist. Something i always swore i wouldn't become. Today i am wondering ... am i turning into a SAM???

My ass itches.. literally.. for a flogging... it nearly drove me nuts today at work...from time to time i could almost feel the stripe of the cane or the fall of the flogger..... and i would wiggle and wiggle on my chair. Yesterday i said that sometimes my need just kinda spills over - when that happens i usually feel restless or irritable or vaguely uneasy. i most definitely have difficulty focusing on the job at hand.... tend to clock watch a whole lot more than usual .. and calendar watch .. waiting for Friday.

But this is the worst it has been in a long long time. Sir assigned two tasks this week...... and for the life of me i can NOT remember what they were. He sent me an email saying "TASKS?" and i stared blankly at the screen. i could hear Sir saying "write things down!!" and my mind wandered to His writing my tasks on my body so that i wouldn't forget them........ (remnants from Saturday's humiliation workshop??) My mind is all over the place.. hopping between jobs for my business that need to get done.. jobs that need to be completed at my "real" job..... housework that is piling up at home.. and now tasks??!!

i can only hope that some great Dom in the sky will reach down and clear the fog that clutters my brain and reveals what tasks i am supposed to be doing.. BEFORE i get the rep of turning into a S.A.M.


  1. Sorry. before you turn into a S.A.M hmmmm different a choice of words just turning into a S.A.M. interesting very interesting.


  2. i suppose the real danger of being a s.a.m. would be that you are trying to bend sir to your will...which is, of course, the exact opposite of what should be your situation.

    by intentionally failing your master, you are forcing him to punish you, which might be quite against his will.

    obviously, that contorts the dynamics of a proper M/s situation.


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