For anyone not quite sure what "gelling" is -- the definition is
"Being on the same wavelength as someone, being mentally in-synch with someone, or working really well together."
Slowly "Hands" and his wife and I have been working on building a healthy triad...... we've been "gelling". This past week his wife and I were planning a "family outing" (family cause their kids were coming too -- meeting me for the first time really).
I just felt such gratitude bubbling up... and I said something about how nice it would be to do something vanilla together. She responded by saying "yeah - when the cuffs come off we will be mundane people together".
What a difference that attitude is! In my first attempt at poly -- we never did anything together except the odd munch -- and I always felt like the "tag along". When he and I had private time together -- it was always spent in the bedroom. After a while I started to feel like he was ashamed of me -- that I wasn't good enough to be seen in public with - or good enough to just hang out together. It was a very demoralizing feeling. I wanted to make sure that in this attempt at poly -- that I was more than some 'dirty little secret'.
So yesterday we all went down to the last day of the Buskers Festival. I had SO much fun!! It felt normal ya know?? We wandered from one show to another - I took the kids to get some balloon animals ....... and we laughed together and shared together -- and most importantly we all 'gelled' together. And as a nice surprise -- they didn't have to rush home and we all went out for a supper of fish and chips.
When the day was over and we were heading our separate ways the older child jumped out of the car and asked me for a hug!! Yup for sure we are all "gelling" and moving forward.