Monday, July 11, 2016

Gelling




 For anyone not quite sure what "gelling" is -- the definition is  
"Being on the same wavelength as someone, being mentally in-synch with someone, or working really well together."

Slowly "Hands" and his wife and I have been working on building a healthy triad...... we've been "gelling".  This past week his wife and I were planning a "family outing" (family cause their kids were coming too -- meeting me for the first time really).  

I just felt such gratitude bubbling up... and I said something about how nice it would be to do something vanilla together.  She responded by saying "yeah - when the cuffs come off we will be mundane people together".  

What a difference that attitude is!  In my first attempt at poly -- we never did anything together except the odd munch -- and I always felt like the "tag along".  When he and I had private time together -- it was always spent in the bedroom.  After a while I started to feel like he was ashamed of me -- that I wasn't good enough to be seen in public with - or good enough to just hang out together.  It was a very demoralizing feeling.  I wanted to make sure that in this attempt at poly -- that I was more than some 'dirty little secret'.

So yesterday we all went down to the last day of the Buskers Festival.  I had SO much fun!!  It felt normal ya know?? We wandered from one show to another - I took the kids to get some balloon animals ....... and we laughed together and shared together -- and most importantly we all 'gelled' together.  And as a nice surprise -- they didn't have to rush home and we all went out for a supper of fish and chips.

When the day was over and we were heading our separate ways the older child jumped out of the car and asked me for a hug!!  Yup for sure we are all "gelling" and moving forward.  


 

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