Tuesday, April 20, 2021

Too much


 Do you still have days when it - all of it - everything - just feels too much... so heavy that you feel physically weighed down?

We're locked down again - under a stay at home order..... till May 20th at the earliest.  Today it feels hard to keep going... to smile and act as though everything is just fine......... 

IT'S NOT FINE!  not even close.

I'm tired - emotionally exhausted.  No desire to prep for camping - as much as I am sure it will happen eventually - I can't work up any enthusiasm ......none.

I don't care about meals - or even trying to make interesting food....... everything tastes blah...... boring.. dull.
I had started trying to exercise - but that didn't last long........
I tried reading outside on the front deck  - but it's just not warm enough
I'm tired of trying ya know?

I'm tired of the climbing numbers and the covidiots and the feelings of fear and anxiety.

I'm just tired 

(and yes I know this too will pass)



  1. Oh Morningstar! I hear you. I'm tired of feeling like I am the only one following recommendations. It just keeps getting worse. I barely leave the house. Schools are back online (thank god) but for how long? Personally, I don't think they should re open. It is too much.

    Can I curl up beside you and just read a book?

  2. ohhhhhhh Boo you can come read with me any time!!
    It doesn't much matter if school is online or not for us cause of course the lil one is online all the time. Yesterday she came home from 10 days with her mother - and OMG the attitude!! Fortunately Sir Steve saw the attitude and decided he would work from home today to try and reign in this attitude - at the very least he is saving me from having to deal with it...
    le sigh

    It'll all get better right??

  3. Yes, it is all too much here, too. It's taking a physical and mental toll on us, especially our kiddo. It's exhausting. Somehow, we have to hang on to each other even from far away.

    Love the idea of you and Boo reading together. Shall I pour you both some tea? I aint wearing a French Maid Outfit though, although I could just to make you two laugh! ha! Hugs, Windy

    1. HAHAHAHAH! Windy, that's awesome! However, why don't you just join us with reading?

      Morningstar---I am so happy to see Sir Steve step up and reign in lil one! Kudos to him!!! As for getting better....well maybe when the idiot running the province is removed????? sigh.

  4. Knowing it's going to get better doesn't always help at the moment. I'm thinking this reading party may need and additional offering to go with the tea. Look, I'll set up hammocks and chairs out by the pool. We can read there and nap if we feel like it. Just head south, I'll get things set up.

    1. sounds wonderful PK - BUT we'll have to wait till the 'stay at home' order is lifted... oh and the border has to open........

  5. Virtual Carpool !!! You northern gals pick me up on your way down to Pk's! *Thinking of all the ways we can corrupt one another* Laughing!

  6. I know how your feeling. Don't you think that it would make you feel a whole lot better if you could just find some moron to headbutt right now? Or is that just me? :)


  7. (((Hugs))) Morningstar, I think many are suffering covid fatigue. We really are so blessed here.


  8. I think it is good to share that sometimes life just sucks! All this social media about 'pushing through' and tiktoc videos about how wonderfully fit people are becoming can just add to the anxiety that life just sucks! Sure we strive to find the good in life, and when haven't we? Even without an world wide pandemic. But the healthiest thing, IMHO is to say, " you know what, today I am blah. Yesterday I was blah, and tomorrow f*ck you I'll probably be blah" BUT also not live there. See it, acknowledge it, accept it, but not embrace it for too long.

    Let's face it, we're not going to be riding unicorns that fart glitter anytime soon, but eventually ( after this bloody #*$*&^ snow melts) we will feel the heat of the sun on our face and read that book outside again- like hopefully this weekend. Then, maybe just then, a thought or two will lean toward camping.


    1. ahhhhh willie you made me smile and feel better. I really did question whether I would post this blog. cause ya know.. it's getting repetitive ...BUT - I figured if this blog is gonna be truthful (and I do strive for truth in all things) then posting I'm sitting on the edge is ok.

      AND because I know the desperation will pass - probably the next day - I posted that pic at the end - cause yeah I know this will end eventually - and everything will be ok... it's just getting there is proving to be difficult :)

  9. oh yes, covidiots. well, the world is full of them - not that it makes things less annoying for you, but we're here along with you, feeling pissy and tired. HUGS.

    As for exercising, hey, i go thru cycles of lethargy - fervour - lethargy - fervour. it's a thing. just get back on the horse when you're feeling better!


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