Friday, June 03, 2011

Rules to live by??

About 10 / 11 years ago when W and I were negotiating our way through the maze of protocols and rules etc trying to find a fit for us - trying to figure out this D/s stuff, W sent me a web site with 128 rules to live by.  He asked me to read them over then send him my updated version of "The Rules" - what I thought were appropriate - what I thought would work.  (This was just one of the endless trysts into finding out what everyone else was doing and use the information to guide us.  In some ways it wasn't a bad idea - but in others - it was the worst idea we came up)

If you wish to read the entire 128 rules - please feel free to go HERE.  BUT you can always just stick with me - cause over the course of the next lil while I am gonna discuss them in more depth - of course - keeping in mind - it will be MY opinion!  


I had almost forgotten all those rules - until last evening - when I received an email from a discussion group - that I thought had - long ago - died a natural death.  They have decided to tackle these rules 10 at a time.  So for the fun of it - and to enlighten all you curious ones and newbies I thought I would do the tackling of the rules right here in my blog (besides - I really don't have anything new to talk about anyway!)

Rules 1 - 10 state:

1. i will serve, obey and please my Master.

2. Above all else my primary focus shall be to please my Master, hoping that He finds me pleasing in all that I do, whether i am in His presence or not. my Master knows of my potential, learning more about me in each day i am with Him. He trusts that i will act in accordance with what He perceives of my potential - He knows what is best for me and how important it is that i set a good example for other females who may be present around me.

3. i worship my Master.

4. i worship my Master's body.

5. The power of my Master fills me with awe. Just the sheer thought of Him or the hearing of His voice gives me strength.

6. To receive pleasure i must earn it.

7. i worship my Master's whip.

8. i trust my Master: His responsibilities, His skills, His hunger and needs, and His concern for my safety, my emotional, psychological, social, sexual, and physical health.

9. i am nothing more than an object of great value - an instrument Master will use to draw out His pleasures.

10. i will ask my Master for permission to satisfy whatever need i have before acting on it.

Reading them now - without the sub frenzy blinders on - makes me want to run from the whole idea of BDSM.  These first 10 rules are meant to subjugate the submissive/slave.  They are meant to take away all her thoughts, feelings, philosophies and beliefs.  The submissive/slave is on the road to believing that the Dom is her Lord and Master.  That he is all knowing........ wise....... and never makes mistakes.

"I worship my Master and his body"???? really - even if he is slovenly and his breath smells and he has "plumber's crack"??? REALLY??? You are going to worship him even if he is an unemployed, lazy, womanizing creep???  I don't think so..... take the rose coloured glasses off - even if you have an Adonis for a Master, there are gonna be days when he looks like any other male species on the planet.  Worshiping anything fully and completely is a tragedy waiting to happen.

"The power of my Master ... his voice... fills me with awe"  REALLY??? Easily awe struck aren't you??? There is much more in this life that fills me with awe - and almost all of it has a lot more substance than a man's power (or what he thinks of as power) and his voice.  WE - the submissives - give the Dominant this power........ without us what power would he have???

"Nothing more than an object"......... I really have problems with that.... because I am a whole lot more than some object - I am woman (hear me roar) I have feelings and thoughts and emotions that deserve to be valued.  HELL - I deserve to be valued - not as an object but as a person!

I read these rules some 10 years later and shake my head - wondering what in the hell was I thinking?!  BUT - I do know now - that you can have a D/s relationship that is more equal - more loving - more beneficial to both parties than any rules set in stone could create.

Rules are meant to create peace and harmony and a loving atmosphere - not at the detriment of another.


  1. for me rules are important but must be written for the purpose of making the slave reach their desires and goals.

  2. I used the link, read the build up, scanned the rules and returned to say
    "What a load of crap!"

    You know I've said it before and I know I will say it again. So much of this is a bunch of kids playing dress up.

    Rules are for politicians

  3. Like you, I remember reading these a long time ago... Even then, I thought this was silly and foolish. The idea of trying to learn and follow a list of 128 rules just made my head spin, and then so many of them were just -- well, dumb. Sheesh.

    But more than the "play acting" aspect of this, there is another problem that I understand better now than I ever did before: Two competent adults in an intimate and loving relationship ought to work to one another's mutual benefit (and yes, I think that is true even inside of power-based dynamics). The set of beliefs and protocols that are defined by that list of rules (and others like it) make it impossible for the "submissive/slave" type to act on her own behalf, but too, she becomes incapable of acting definitively to protect the dominant partner from His own worst impulses and human frailties. It is a dangerous thing to set one's self up as god, and acting in collusion with that may just put the "objectified," and "worshipful" partner in the position of harming the Master.


  4. Rules?
    You have rules?

  5. Anonymous10:07 pm

    It is interesting how different things are once the rose colored glasses are off...


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