Fed up!!

I am fed up.  plain and simple.  FED UP!!!

For months I suffered with pain and bland diets ... and I kept holding on for the operation that would "fix" me.  

Now here I am 8 weeks post-op and I am still suffering from pain and finding myself retreating back to the bland diet.  I didn't think it would be this way.  Every time I try to introduce some food of interest - I land up flat on my back (or in the bathroom) dying from the pain in my gut.  

And it's not enough that I have to watch foods that might irritate my bowels - but also foods that might irritate my liver  and I am fast discovering they are not the same type of food. 

I have kinda reached the ENOUGH ALREADY point!!!!

I am fed up with having some good days and some bad days... I want more good days.. I want the majority of days to be good.... but that's not what's happening.. I seem to have one good day and one bad day and one in between day.  

I have kinda reached the ENOUGH ALREADY point !!!

I can't plan ahead - because god only knows if it will be a good day or a bad day (the in between days are manageable days - I just drag my ass on those days)  

I have kinda reached the ENOUGH ALREADY point !!!

And remember those cool small clothes I bought the other day?? Well I wore the black jeans yesterday and discovered something I hadn't thought of......... by mid afternoon (most days) my belly bloats up...... so needless to say by mid afternoon yesterday my new small black jeans were too tight .. and uncomfortable... and I nearly cried as I stripped them off and pulled on loose fitting pants.  How can I go back to work when I can't stand wearing clothes by mid afternoon??

I called the surgeon's office yesterday.  They are supposed to be referring me to another specialist and they have to make the appointment.  I hadn't heard diddly squat from them since last Thursday - so I called.  They can't reach the specialist!!!!  They hope to have reached him by next week - or the week after.  God only knows when I will get to see him - as his appointments are now being booked in May/June.

I have kinda reached the ENOUGH ALREADY point !!!

So now I will take my pity party off line... (today is one of those in between days) ... and try and pull myself together.  Warren is coming over this afternoon and we plan on having dinner together before he heads off to a meeting.  I really need to have a better attitude - I am sure he's as fed up with this as I am.
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