Emotional Investment

I have written in the past about blogs and how invested we all get in what happens in the blogs we read.... the attachments we form to people we don't know - and probably will never know (in real time).


How disappointed/worried/distressed and yes even angry we get when a blog just disappears.   Hell even I will become worried if I don't see a blog being updated... wondering if everything is ok.. what has happened... where are they.  And yeah sometimes I even get a tad angry that they didn't post a good-bye post ....... so at least we know they didn't just implode some dark night.


This has all come to the forefront again because "Under his Hand" has gone on hiatus... and kaya and her Master have disappeared from the blog and from FetLife....... just poof disappeared.  There is a whole lot of speculation and worry over on FetLife as to what has happened to them..... and that shouldn't surprise anyone - including kaya and her Master.   They were active on Fetlife - and kaya was a prolific writer on her blog.  To just up and disappear is worrisome for those of us who only have contact via the net.


I wonder how many of us "blog writers" realize the impact we have on some lives.  I wonder if we fully accept the responsibility we take on when we start writing a blog.  I wonder if we ever fully understand the number of lives we touch in some weird and wonderful way with our words.  


I know I have struggled many times over the years about the quality of what I wrote here... and yeah - from time to time I fussed and fumed over the numbers of hits I got.. knowing that the BDSM, sexy, pain filled blog entries drew a larger readership.  But eventually I would settle down and reclaim the blog as mine...... and write what was in my heart - not what would attract hits.

I have learned - since last March - that people will come to read my words - no matter what I am writing about .......... be it the pain of a rocky relationship or the trials of playing with other people ... or an illness that knocked me on my ass.  These people for whatever reason have become emotionally invested in me.. in my words...... whatever those words say.


It was for that reason when I was in hospital I would ask Warren to update you all... I didn't want to leave anyone hanging..worrying or fussing... or getting angry that I just went poof.


I am not sure where I was going with this entry when I started........ maybe it is just a reminder to me that there are folks out there who are emotionally invested in my life ... my world... and to pay tribute to the fact that they don't just come to read the "good bits"... but they come, like friends, to check up on me... to see how things are and to share a moment of their time with me.

And that is a good thing....... a very good thing!!