Sir and i socialized with a couple from our country's great Capital. They came here.. we went there... It is hard to find someone who is closely tuned to one's own practice of the lifestyle........ but we had found it in them.
He was Dom.. old fashioned kind of Dom.. and she was a service sub.. and a bit of a masochist... They had rituals and protocols and ....... well it just kinda felt like we were not only in the same chapter of the book.. but most of the time on the same page !!
It felt comfortable (at least for me) being around them.. i never once felt embarrassed by going naked - or serving Sir first or waiting for permission to enter a room.. or sit at the table.. or use the toilet. You see.. she had the same rules to follow. We never had to explain. it just was....... and it was very nice .. "just being" when we were together.
Then there was a problem.. a scary problem.. more scary than my thinking someone had found my blog. There had been an incident at a private club.. one of the submissives had gotten hurt..... badly hurt (from all reports) and that submissive had called the police.
This couple both had major worries....... their jobs would most definitely be in jeopardy........ their reputations. They decided to fold up their tents and disappear quietly into the night.......
i remember the last email conversation i had with her before they disappeared.. as she explained to me how easy it would be.......
"ya see" she explained "most of our 'friends' are lifestyle 'friends' they won't look for us once we are gone because we have nothing in common with them other than the lifestyle"
i was shocked... i wanted to prove we would be different friends.
BUT the thing is........ she was right. Oh i kept in touch with her for a while after they disappeared.. we talked about raising kids.. and teaching kids.. and recipes and all sorts of other things...BUT the problem was..... i couldn't discuss BDSM anymore.. i couldn't whine or pout about how 'mean' Sir was anymore.. that part of the friendship had just ended.. abruptly.
Now you might be wondering what has brought this story to light ........
Well i am slowly realizing that this blog.. The Journey.. is my connection to many people... and if it was no more.. then so would those people - be no more i mean. i guess i was a little shocked to read in private emails the number of people who said they really had no interest in the rest of my life........ and being the stupid naive sub that i am .. i was surprised. Ya see.. i kinda thought these people were interested in the other parts of my life.. the sum total of who i am.. but i guess not.
So maybe it is a good thing i have another place to discuss my other life....... i never realized i might be boring folks here.. with mundane talk of kids.. hobbies.. renovations etc..
i guess for most people the high priority is what i spew forth on here... about my thoughts and opinions on BDSM.....
AND don't get me wrong...... please...... that's ok......... it is a huge part of who i am.... it's just i guess.. i had hoped that there was a wee bit more of a connection ... i was wrong..... it isn't the first time.. and my god it won't be the last .........
And i guess the important thing is....... Sir is interested in the other parts of me.. that add up to make me who i am.. with the beliefs and philosophies and loyalties
Now having said all that... my forced holiday has been extended by another few days.. Sir took me to the doctor last evening ........ as i wasn't improving not one little bit........ and it turns out i have a sinus infection and a secondary infection in my glands and lymph nodes........ soooooooooooo i am guessing this is gonna be another quiet weekend around here ......... i feel so damn useless when i am sick and unable to serve.......... even my quirky need for pain is on hiatus........... so yeah another quiet weekend - while the meds do their work.
hugs morningstar - nothing worse than a sinus infectin - it hits every part of you and makes you feel like crap - and you know (cause I already emailed) - I want to (and enjoy) all parts of you!
ReplyDeletemorningstar, i hope you continue writing here and sharing the things you always have... lifestyle or other "normal" things in your life.. i for one like knowing there are more sides to people... i actually get a bit intimidated if its all just bdsm... i start thinking im not doing things "right' or im not a " good' slave to Master since my thoughts and actions arent 1000% bdsm..you make me think- you make me laugh and at times you make me cry..and its all good... thank you for all of it..
ReplyDeletehugs,
Hisflower
hi, i read you're blog very often and not just for the BDSM, for your regualr life and just your overall personality.
ReplyDeleteif i wanted just sex stuff or BDSM i suppose i could just visit a porno site, i really rarely visit those though, it gets boring. Sometimes i just want to hear a real opinion or voice and your flavor is somewhat suiting to mine. i'm glad you've been writing all of this time; gives me something to think about.
If we look at the different "friend" relationships we have maintained over the years we would see that we have only one or two interests in common with most of them.
ReplyDeleteWe make so many connections, doing this, and they have their own "personalities." People will always pick and choose where they invest their time and energy and loyalties... I only hope this new dichotomy works for you. I'll follow wherever, and hope that doing that (leaving that "swan" moniker) on your vanilla site doesn't create a problem. I am a little bothered by that potential...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am sorry that you still feel so ill, and I do hope that the new medications help to put you on the mend soon. This has gone on far too long.
hugs, swan
Hi morningstar,
ReplyDeleteSorry you're not feeling well; I've had sinus problems for years, so can really sympathize.
As to what you post here ~~ I don't particularly care for the blogs that are "all sex/BDSM, all the time." They just don't feel real to me. I value the ones where the blogger has shared more of their life, where the sense is of a real person sharing themselves.
So, you do what you need to do ~~ I've tried the 2 separate blogs, but there is always some overlap :)
Robin
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI guess I was one of the few people that wrote and expressed interest in your vanilla slice of life. For me, it helps seeing the "normal" side of girlie blogs that I read, because it helps me feel connected with the writer AND helps me feel more "normal" as a slavegirl.
As we share coffee so often I feel I know all of your vanilla side. While the pictures are nice I am sure I would have seen them the next time I was to your house. SO I was one tht expressed no interest i reading about your vanilla side. You know how many blogs I have each to a different sort of person who I share a specific taste with. So it is good to have a vanilla blog and those that need to know you are grounded and have a life othere then slavery it is a great idea .I am overloaded with vanilla life right now that I really do not need to read about others.
ReplyDeleteI love both sides of you. And I'm sorry you are still not feeling well. But I did like that you split your site. I think it's keen. You just get to work double time now. :)
ReplyDelete