Lost and found?

After the pussy spreader and chopstick episode on Saturday evening... Sir moved me immediately to the cross. My head was spinning... i was still back there on that table with the world inspecting my private bits and pieces... Nevermind that my pussy had just become accustomed to the stretch and the bite........... and Sir just whipped them off leaving me fighting to catch up.. fighting to move onwards and upwards...

clamped to the cross.. spread eagle... almost shivering with nerves or the cold i couldn't quite decide... i soon discovered i didn't much like the cross.. it was a new one i am sure.. and had a cross bar that cut directly across my diaphragm.... whenever there was a specifically heavy hit my diaphragm would be pushed violently into this wooden cross bar ..making me feel like i was gonna puke... (like performing the Heimlich maneuver on one's self) never mind the fact the damn thing was pushing into what i think is my gall bladder - which had been acting up for the past week..... my mind was still processing the feelings of being a "nothing" of being a "thing" ... and so i had no voice.... my wrists were too high and without the proper suspension cuffs were tingling almost immediately... it just didn't feel fun

Sir used the tawse with great abandon.. and the cane.. the dreaded hated cane.. and the broad wooden paddle. No rhyme or reason... just hit .. and hit hard. Send the subbie's body banging into the wooden cross.. unforgiving .. hard..i missed the 1 2 3 4 count for the paddle.. i missed the ability to catch my breath.. i missed the boat.. completely.

And then it was over.. and i was down ..and snuggled up on the sofa with Sir... i know Sir snuggled up with me.. but somehow it wasn't enough... i was struggling to find my way.. in my head.. to where i belonged.. to firm ground.. to something i understood and could process.

Later i packed us up and we made our way out to the car... the dreaded hated cane never does fit perfectly into the bag.. and as i squished through the door, the cane caught the side of the frame and banged... i stopped to make sure it hadn't broken.. good sub i am !! Then loaded everything in the trunk and just wanted to be back in the hotel... snuggled under blankets and blankets... warm and sleepy ...

BUT it didn't happen that way... When i finally got the bag to the room.. the cane was gone........ G O N E .............. my world now skidded to an immediate stop.. Sir's cane.. His beloved cane was gone. and it was all my fault.. it had to be don't you see.. as i was the one responsible for the toys.. muddled brain or no muddled brain... my responsibility.

Sir retraced our steps out to the car... checked in the trunk.. no cane.

Sir tried calling the club.. tried calling the hostess.. the owner.. all to no avail. Finally sleep called His name and Sir slept... i lay staring into the darkness trying to screw my head back on straight.... it was at an awful angle you see.

In the morning........ after breakfast.. before we hit the highway.. we drove back to the club...... just in case.. maybe...

And there it lay .. small and lost.. a bit forlorn .. in the rain.. in the dirt... but alive and well.. and more than ready to whip my ass another day...........

Humiliation

It is strange sometimes how things just evolve.

i had decided - with Sir's permission - to wear the Chinese dress to the play party on Saturday evening. Then i had this brain wave ... sort of a theme.. chinese/oriental theme .. and asked Sir if i could bring the chopsticks/clamps up to the party as well.



He concurred.. and so the chopsticks were packed. Then Sir added the pussy spreader and some whipping toys.




Before we left Sir did a partial mummification by wrapping from just below my breasts to my waist in plastic wrap.

The drive up was uneventful - the mummification felt more or less like wearing a corset .. kinda binding.. kinda digging in... kinda uncomfortable .. but bearable.

We stopped at our favourite restaurant for lunch.. a place called "The Works" and over lunch we got talking about humiliation......... mainly because of a group Sir reads from time to time on Fetlife - aptly named "Humiliation" (i think that is it). Anyway........ over lunch we discussed different forms of humiliation and how it isn't my thing.. and how i am too strong .. too grounded in who i am to have any form of humiliation work very well.

Lunch over with.. i was faced with a couple of hours of shopping .. poking around in a rather large mall. i couldn't see myself managing another 2 hours or so in the mummification... so i asked Sir if He could remove it. Now for those of you who have never been wrapped in plastic wrap.. or heard of mummification.. once on, the only real way of getting it off.. is to cut it. So there we were standing in the parking lot of the restaurant, and Sir pulls out a box cutter He keeps in His pocket..lifts up my sweater (from the back) and proceeds to slice the wrap off. For a minute or two i wondered what someone would think if they were watching Him perform this little slicing.......... and then just pushed it from my mind as i wasn't exactly showing anything terribly personal.

Ok.. so now fast forward to the play party. It started off slowly as most of them do.. meeting and greeting old friends.. getting caught up on everyone's news. i was blown away by the decoration of the club - it had been decorated totally and completely in an Oriental theme (from a party the previous night) Well didn't i just fit right in .. in my chinese dress !!!

Sir was standing talking to a new Domme and i wandered over to join in their conversation. i am not sure how the conversation got around to chopsticks (as i wasn't really paying much attention... just being the dutiful slave standing beside my Sir) when Sir told me to get the chopsticks out of the bag .. and strip.

i got kinda of wiggly and a bit nervous.. we were afterall standing in the socializing part of the club.. no one else was playing...... and i was being told to strip naked??

i didn't hesitate too long - as there just didn't seem much point to it. i stripped .. found the plastic case that carries the chopsticks and handed it to Sir. He opened up the case and while i was standing there naked as a jay bird, with hands behind my head, He starts pulling out some of the chopsticks and explaining how they work. i was totally ignored. A few other folks came and joined Sir and this Domme. Everyone was chattering away as though i didn't even exist. It was a very strange feeling.

Sir was explaining how these chopsticks could be used just about anywhere. He reached .. grasped a nipple firmly between His fingers .... yanked it outwards.. and slapped one of the chopstick sets on........ then proceeded to add another set to the other nipple in much the same way. My startled yelps were ignored... though a couple of folks chuckled.

Then Sir disappeared downwards, encouraging the Domme to come take a closer look and so she disappeared downwards as well.. Sir clamped on sets of chopstick to each labia. Then He and she moved around behind me. A chopstick was slid between my legs and through my clit jewelry..another was added between my ass cheeks to sort of .. kind of.. anchor the clit chopstick. While this was going on.... a Dom came over to stand directly in front of me.. in my space in front of me.. if you understand what i mean. i could feel myself starting to feel very uncomfortable.

Sir and i have known this Dom for many years. In fact we call him "friend"...... so this shouldn't have thrown me as much as it was. He was standing there watching me.. looking right into my eyes.. not allowing me to drop my look.. or turn away. Then He said very quietly "you actually enjoy being naked in front of all these people don't you??!!" (in that stern Dom voice that they have - dominants i mean)

i turned my head.. i wiggled a bit.. (and got yipped at by Sir who was still positioning chopsticks and explaining how they worked) i looked back at the Dom in front of me. "Well??!!" i hummed and hawed and stammered.. and i realized i had never ever before felt so humiliated... the word finally gushed out of me "YES" i declared for all the world to hear.. "i do enjoy being made to stand naked in front of people". The Dom laughed out loud.

By then Sir had bounced back up .. bringing along the new Domme. The Dom who had been pushing my buttons asked if the nippled chopsticks would twirl .. and Sir suggested He might want to try. i closed my eyes. The chopsticks and my nipples were pulled and twisted.. and i stamped my foot and thought a few 4 letter words !!

Then Sir announced they all had to see His new toy... and He pulled out the pussy spreader. Everyone got involved in discussing what it was used for.. how it was used.. all the while i am standing there.. hands behind my head.. with chopsticks sticking out all over the place.

Sir explained it was a pussy spreader and suggested that i go find a table and get ready to demonstrate how it worked.

i have never really tried to walk with chopsticks clamped to my pussy .. my clit .. and my nipples. It was awkward and pokey and embarassing !!! But i managed to wince my way over to the table.. and cover it with a towel. By that time everyone was gathered around talking.. it was all just a blur to me. Sir told me to do something and the damn chopstick holding the clit chopstick in place popped out and rolled across the floor. Sir just stood there ordering me to go and get it and pick it up. Bending over with the chopsticks biting into me was almost more than i could bare.. i started to tear up.

Sir removed the chopsticks.. which alleviated some of my embarassement and discomfort. Then He had me hop up on the table and spread 'em........ so He could attach the pussy spreader. Everyone gathered around.. everyone was talking.. Sir was demonstrating.. and me?? i just closed my eyes and made them all go away.

After the fact.. Sunday - i was trying to explain to Sir just how humiliating it had all been... not in a bad way.. but not in a good way either. Maybe cause i thought i was basically immune to humiliation play. Maybe cause i thought i had become something more than just an object to play with ... to demonstrate on.

It was just a little attitude adjustment.

Fetish - fantasy - or???

Going to a play party tends to stress me a little bit.. what to wear..what to wear !!! and the stupid thing is..., we don't DO stand and model - so really what does it matter what i wear.. it is only gonna come off pretty soon after we arrive !!!

Anyway... for more than a few years now i have dreamed of owning a kimono.... but the cost is truly beyond my means.

A year or so ago when we were up in our Nation's Capital Sir bought me a silky North American translation of a kimono... it is red with gold patterns... but i have been truthfully way too shy to wear it.

And then a couple of weeks ago.. during March break actually .. i purchased myself a kimono (again another cheap North American knock off) that crosses over the front and ties... it is blue and gold and really is very pretty.....



i hung it nicely in my cupboard and wondered when i would ever wear it... cause... well squarish styles don't exactly flatter my squarish body.

Last weekend i shyly tucked the blue kimono into my bag and took it up to Kingston. After our time at the train show.. and dinner.. when we settled back into our hotel room, i hid in the bathroom and slipped into the kimono. Sir didn't bat an eyelash.. as though seeing me prancing around in a kimono was the norm. AND then Sir played with me in the kimono.. draping it nicely over my back or across my pussy .......... and i relaxed and decided i really did feel good wearing it........

NOW we were planning our trip to our Nation's Capital and i needed to find something to wear. i reached into the back of my cupboard and pulled out the red silk oriental dress that Sir bought me. i tried it on... and i have to be truthful .. images danced in my head.. images that had nothing to do with the image in the mirror .. but who the hell cares???

So both oriental outfits were packed in my bag for the trip...............

AND i asked Sir rather shyly if we might pack the chopsticks.. piles of them.. with elastics... and He said yes.. and i had this oriental theme in my head.... oh dear me.. am i turning into a fetish freak?? is that so wrong???

Anyway.. Sir also insisted i pack the pussy stretcher.. AND some other toys.. so the theme will have some hazy edges to it.. and maybe no one else will notice and it will just remain my fantasy...

i'll let you all know how it goes .. come Monday Morning Report.........

Sure signs of spring..

The calendar may dictate when Spring arrives...

Mother Nature may control the actual arrival of spring ...

BUT for me the sure sign of the arrival of spring is:

1) the loud honking of the geese as they arrive back after their winter hiatus...



2) a robin



and 3) our packing our bags for a trip up to our Nation's Capital to a play party!




Last weekend i saw my first robin.................



This morning standing outside i heard - then saw - the geese returning..........


And our bags are packed 'cause we are off to the spring play party today in our Nation's Capital...

So i guess i can honestly say - Spring has arrived here in the Great White North !!!

Quiet times..

For some reason unknown to me.. i am going through a quiet time...

At work - i am up todate YAY !! and nothing pending.. and the kids seem to be subdued for now (i am not so optimistic to think this is more than just a phase)

At home it is peaceful... the calm before the storm.. i guess i could be spring cleaning.. but i like the peace and the quiet ....... the spring fever hasn't hit me yet - especially when dear Buffalo out west says they are having snow and sleet and freezing rain.. and being the good friend he is.. he is sending it down to us... and i do feel Mother Nature may just be lulling us into a calm quiet place before she lambastes us with one last nasty winter storm..

Things are quiet and calm with Sir and i .. actually i feel we couldn't be in a better place.... mostly i think - cause i have come to the epiphany that we ARE doing 24/7 and i have stopped pushing for some unattainable fantasy life....

i am working on the next submission for Behind the Screen... and though i hate to say it... the images that dance around in my head while i write make me horny as hell.... (that is NOT to say they will do anything for you !!! Just that they are doing it for me.. and i am the one who counts right?? - cheeky grin)

So - lacking anything of substance to write about today..... i thought i would post a few pics over on the Photo Journal - please be advised these are NOT pictures of me.. but pictures Sir has sent me from His many lists He is on.....

Tomorrow - perhaps inspiration will hit.. and i will once again have something of substance to regale you with..............

A little magic in the middle of nowhere..

In October when Sir and i took a run up the 401 highway...... i was surprised to see a large Inukshuk on a rock top. i saw it .. then it was gone as we sped along. A few kilometers further on i spied another one.. smaller - hard to see - but there nevertheless. Every so often i would spy another. The whole episode excited my imagination. Who would build and leave these monuments - these road markers??

For those that don't know .. an Inukshuk is a symbol of hope and friendship for the Inuit. Acting as a marker these stacked rocks in human form have provided steadfast guidance across the vast Canadian North. Over time the Inukshuk have become a national symbol of Canada's Great White North and the Inuit people.

And here they were dotting the landscape along the vast 401 - far from the wilds of the Great Canadian North.

Over the months i had forgotten about that lil miracle of culture....... but on Saturday speeding our way to Kingston i spied them again.. and again. Of course my camera was in the back - tucked into my suitcase. Sir scolded me for not keeping it with me at all times - easily accessible for moments just like that.

i can't help but wonder - imagine - muse over the person who built these symbols. What was their purpose in doing so?? who were they guiding?? (after all there are practical road signs and markers put out by the people who do those things)

As we piled all our stuff into the car for the drive home on Sunday - Sir reminded me to keep my camera close.... and when we got to the first one..... (the others are just too small ) Sir whipped the car over on to the soft shoulder and i hopped out... and snapped a picture of that very first Inukshuk marking the path to........... who knows where.........



but somehow i feel a little bit safer knowing someone has left a sign of friendship and guidance along the vast highway that runs from one end of Canada to the other.......

In the dimness

i was stretched over the high double bed... on my stomach... with my kimono pulled up over my back exposing my ass. i was lying on a towel so that i wouldn't leave a puddle on my Sir's bed.

The room was nearly dark - lit only be a small desk lamp and the fire burning in the fireplace.

Every so often i would lift my face and peer into the fire.. wanting to escape into it.. wanting to find my fairies and have them take me deep into the burning embers but the strikes were coming too fast and too hard. i cried out and then bit my lip for fear the guests in the hallway - or the room next door would hear and there would be a pounding on the door.

Sir forced my legs apart.. holding the left one up and out ......... and the flogger came down over and over on my pussy. It hurt, and it made me wet.

Sir's fingers wound their way into me... teasing me.. making sloshing sounds.

In the darkness my body responded ... tightening and vibrating.. and needing and getting the release it so sorely craved.

In the darkness Sir moved around to stand in front of me.. reaching down.. rubbing my back.. murmuring soft words.. grounding me in the pain.. taking me higher....

And then........

Sir gripped my hair with one hand.. pulling my head up.. wrenching my neck.. and with the other He unzipped his pants and brought my face down .. mouth covering his penis.. sucking it in...

And then He went back to whipping my ass... especially when i slowed down.. or changed the rhythm... especially when i would wiggle .. lifting my ass unconciously..

And then in the dimness of the hotel room, Sir pulled my mouth off his penis long enough to unbuckle his pants and slide them down.. stepping out of them He immediately brought my mouth back to his penis - threatening me?? telling me?? to suck it right... to do it right.

Later by the glow of the fire Sir rolled me over.. and slapped my pussy.. using his hand and the toys.. and it all drifted together.. and felt so right... there was a glow in my soul.. a rightness with the world.. a feeling that this is where i belonged.

Proud to be Canadian

Just in case you don't know.. i am Canadian... yup i live in the Great White North.
But i am more than just a Canadian.. i am a PROUD Canadian. Proud of everything we stand for...

The other day i received an email with a link to a YouTube video.. from a show called Red Eye - i believe - on Fox. i watched that video and my blood pressure soared.. i stamped my foot.. no both of them.. i wanted to reach through my computer monitor and slap them all !!!

How dare they make such awful tasteless jokes about the Canadian Military, and The Canadian Mounties. grrrrrrr my blood is boiling again when i think about it!!!

Unfortunately - i have never figured out how to embed a YouTube video into my blog... but here is the LINK... go watch it.. and then if you are so inclined drop a line to
The Red Eye show ......... redeye@foxnews.com

OR

Fox news .... yourcomments@foxnews.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



oh yeah....... Sir and i are off for a weekend away - at a train show - so play nice .. i'll see you all back here on Monday.......

teasers...

When i was younger.. much much younger.. in my teens.. i was called a "tease"... i never stayed with any boy more than a month - 6 weeks at best. My parents always said they didn't have to worry about me because i never got serious about anyone...

Now that wasn't entirely true.... i did get serious .. but lost interest quickly.

As i aged i used to say i preferred the "mating dance" to the end product.

Today i have settled down.. (bout bloody time no??) And i realize i am not a tease .. not .. no way...no how.. what i was searching for was the fore play .. the build up.. the tease to sexual relations.

i want to be begging for penetration.. for an orgasm.. i want to be teased till i am climbing the walls....

Last night Sir had me get my hitachi and play with myself ........ in the email He didn't actually say i could cum... and i knew i wasn't supposed to ........ but well.. messenger wouldn't load .. and i was enjoying myself so much.. and and.. well i came. AND i was cross at myself... i didn't want to cum.. i wanted the tease.. i wanted to be in that place where my pussy muscles were vibrating with the need to clutch and tighten around the vibrator..

Sometimes some men (and women too - seeing as i have been with both) tend to misread my need.. or their need becomes too strong.. or something.. bad karma?? stars not aligned just right?? something ... and the penetration happens way too fast .. and the orgasm comes.. the first orgasm - the very best orgasm.. and then it is over.. and that moment of need can't be recaptured.

There is something about that need that i crave .. almost more than the orgasm itself.... the total and complete loss of control over my body's needs......... and i can't give that to myself.. no matter how hard i try to.. it is beyond my control.. i need someone else in control... someone else to hold back the orgasm.. the flood gates.. not stop what they are doing (cause that is like a bucket of cold water and tends to make me cranky and not the least bit interested - thank you very much!!) but slow it down.. bring me to the edge .. over and over again.. until i am - i don't know - almost a little mad with need ?? almost a little crazy?? and then.. then.. at that moment when the stars are flashing in front of my eyes and my body is flopping around like a fish out of water.. knees weak .. bones gone to jelly .. body a rag doll.. then ............ a deep hard thrust in ... deeper and deeper and then WOW!! the explosion that happens......... mind blowing.

i came across this picture a while back .. off a blog of a ’follower’ from here.. and it made me think how wonderful pearls would feel .. tucked into the pussy opening.. maybe sliding back and forth.. maybe just lying there.. cool against my hot skin.. creating just the right pressure .. making my clit and pussy twitch.. with need.......




yeah.. pearls could be a nice tease...........

More thoughts on bubbles..

i wanted to flesh out yesterday's blog entry .... i received so many comments and emails.. most of which got me thinking again........ you see yesterday's entry was just a wisp of a thought that took on a life of its own - once i started typing.. but i realize from the comments etc that i didn't fully explain myself...

That play room downstairs was an empty room when Sir met me.. it held only my treadmill. Was unpainted and down right ugly - with it's brown paneled walls and linoleum floor. Sir kept saying "imagine what we could do with this room" and so His imagining became a reality. The walls were painted - the floor covered with a rug - O hooks hung in the ceiling. Then the cross and furniture were purchased and added.

BUT back in those days - Sir only came over to play with me for an afternoon. Somehow the bedroom seemed way too intimate. So the play room came into existence. As the journey continued - the room was opened up to friends who came over for play parties... back in the day when folks actually did play.

Slowly life has changed... friends have left the scene or only play at home in their bedrooms (personally i think a number were a little disappointed that Sir and i did not swing) Going downstairs to play became a thing of the past for Sir and i.

So the room sits ... unused.

It is a room that causes me some ummmmm difficulties. It is not a room that can be converted to "vanilla" - the cross is permanently screwed into the floor - for heaven's sakes !! Now selkie asked about my daughters... and both of them know about the room.. youngest daughter has no desire to see it.. and eldest daughter is in the lifestyle (sort of) and she has been in the room - even played in it.

BUT i can not send the grandkids down there to play when everyone is over...
It is awkward (for me at least) to have vanilla folks going down there and turning right instead of left - to see the train room - as the play room is a big open expanse and easily peeked into. It is awkward when the hydro meter reader comes in and goes downstairs.. It is awkward when any maintenance people come in and have to go downstairs. i don't think it bothers Sir.. but it does bother me...

Cloud mentioned the historical value of the room.. the memories that live there. And He is right........ however ..... the memories will always live in our minds.. and have (in my opinion) very little to do with a room - but more to do with a time and a point on the journey.

The play room was just that ..... a room..... a BIG room that now lies quiet. Wasted space in a lot of ways.

swan put it nicely when she said the BDSM had come up from the basement. And it's true.. it is like we have brought it into our lives - rather than keeping it separate.

AND nothing about Sir and i have changed - not one iota!! i still serve Him.. He still beats my ass.. It's just that it doesn't have to be scheduled in.. downstairs. It is part of our life. And NO we are not going vanilla - quite the opposite - i believe we have stopped segregating our lives into vanilla and kink.. but are combining the two the best way we know how. And while others who have never had the opportunity to have a nice lil dungeon may question our sanity in thinking about re-converting the space - the truth of the matter is.. a dungeon is a fantasy.

For me - the play room is a fantasy that i was holding on to. Hell doesn't the word dungeon drag up all sorts of images of naked slaves - caged slaves - slaves being beaten??? sure it does. It also creates the image of dark dank stone walls, scary torture places. The play room was all part and parcel of a fantasy. And it is way past time to put the fantasies away .. don't ya think??

There is no glorious BDSM world - even within one's own four walls. There shouldn't be... not if this is a lifestyle.. versus a fantasy.

Add to that a seed Cloud planted a few months back (hell it was probably in the late summer). He was planning a play area for someone that would be basically built in a cupboard. A ladder type piece of equipment that could be hidden behind closed doors - and when those doors were opened the ladder thingy could be angled outwards.. the sub lean up against it.. be bound to it and beaten. When all was finished the ladder thingy would easily fold back up into the cupboard the door closed and the room returned to a vanilla state.

That idea appeals to me. A room that could be converted from vanilla to Kink in a moment's notice. My grandkids could have a room to play in (rather than under our feet ) and anyone could pop downstairs without being shocked by medieval torture devices hanging around.

BUT all of this rambling is really just me working things through in my addled brain. All of the equipment in the basement belongs to Sir. And it is Sir's decision if the play room stays or goes... and of course then there is the problem of what to do with all the equipment that won't store anywhere easily.

This is all a lesson in daydreaming for me......... and realizing that kink is out of the basement and into the daylight - where it belongs. AND yeah.. as swan said.. some times kink is mundane and everyday and ordinary............ as it should be when one takes the fantasy out of the equation.

Burst the bubble

i received an email yesterday - from a sub - who had read something on fet life they wanted to share with me. So far so good... and as emails from friends is about the only way i read fet life anymore.. it wasn't a bad thing.

the line he sent me went something like this: "a submissive was forced to walk naked for two blocks to the store to pick up some cigarettes."

i read that line and thought to myself .. fantasy fantasy fantasy !! In this day and age no one could walk NAKED for two blocks without being picked up by a cop.. or enter a store naked?? and not have the salesgirl run screaming from the shop???

Anyway all of that is not really the point of this blog... i have been thinking recently how less stressed i am... less pouty i am... less whiny i am... now that i do not equate a good session with hanging from the chains in the basement or being strung up on the cross.

i have come to realize that i have grown out of the need for S/M (stand and model) but our translation of it. It all seemed so important that our life be all around humiliating me.. using me.. hanging me from the chains.. having me naked..

i wanted to model our life after some movie .. some book.... some bit of fantasy..some idealistic version of BDSM. (and i think Sir does/did too... especially when He lands up feeling so often that He is not domming me enough..... enough by whose standards?? some fantasy standard ??!! pffffft on that !!)

BUT it doesn't work that way. And once you come to the realization that BDSM is not about toys and equipment and way out there ideas of service and humiliation then you can get on with real life.

It was a bit like bursting my bubble when i realized it. And it has taken me more than a few weeks to reconcile myself to the fact that there is no fantasy BDSM land. There is no place that slaves are sold (for real) on auction. No limit slaves do not exist. 24/7 does not exist. And in the few cases were folks claim they are living it........... then they are living in a fantasy world. (and yeah i know i am probably stepping out on a very wobbly limb here saying that)

BUT Cloud and Sir and i had this discussion last Friday - at our coffee klutch - about how it is so much easier to live BDSM when one is surrounded by BDSM folk: ie. at a BDSM camp for a few days - or at a club for a few hours. Where the world is shut away and the energies flow.. and everyone feeds off this energy.

But .. back home .. safe and sound within your own four walls... the energy dwindles down to what works for you ........... and sometimes that it is a quick spanking before bed... or a quick wham bam thank you ma'am fucking over a kitchen counter.

In my opinion it doesn't matter how many toys you have.. how big your dungeon is.. or how well equipped it is.. What should matter is how well you incorporate the BDSM lifestyle into the here and now !!

And so i have been thinking....... why is it we have a well equipped dungeon in the basement.. with a St Andrew's cross.. a spanking bench.. a kneeling bench.. a pony and chains from the ceiling.. with Sir's spanking toys taking up more than one full wall now - when we haven't been down there to play in months !!! Our play takes place where ever it suits Sir... which is mostly in the living room. Even when we hold parties - no one goes downstairs to the "play room" .. they play in the living room... (when and IF they even bother to play)...... so why oh why do we have a dedicated room to BDSM??? Doesn't that mean that BDSM can't come upstairs???

i am thinking.......... it is time to convert that room in the basement to something a whole lot more functional.... and perhaps put the BDSM into a cupboard ... easily accessible - like Sir's subbie - always there.. always accessible - just not in your face !! Isn't it time to face a new challenge of really incorporating BDSM into a way of life .. with a liberal mix of vanilla???

Isn't it time to live in the real world and leave the fantasy behind??


Isn't that more the reality of BDSM?? Isn't that more the reality of 24/7 BDSM??

My cup runneth over.......

It was a really full weekend... and my god i feel as though "my cup runneth over" today.

i had two big whoopings ... one on Saturday and one on Sunday - both in the morning !! Two days of vanilla stuff.. but two big whoopings squished in between ... and it was amazing .. that almost never happens !!!

i didn't fly.. didn't visit with my fairies.. but that's ok... i didn't feel neglected .. for lack of a better term.. i didn't feel like a vanilla house wife... i didn't feel completely like a "mom" and "granny" i actually felt like a sub .. with a Sir.. in those vanilla times.

AND yesterday - when we got home from youngest daughter's house.. from eldest grandson's 8th birthday (he's 8 already??!!) It was dinner time.. and i was busy cooking away in the kitchen.... It was that time of day when the sun is setting.. the lights are on in the house - but the blinds haven't been drawn yet........ the time of day when the neighbours can see in.......

and Sir came in the kitchen.. i was bending over picking something up off the floor.. and He slapped my ass - and i jumped up .. laughing and yiping "ouch that hurts !!" Sir then decided to show me what "hurt" really means and pinched the soft delicate skin just inside my ass crack........ know the spot i mean??

And before i could blink my eyes.. Sir had me bent over the kitchen counter.. ass sticking out.. fucking me for all i was worth... and i was so horny (seems Saturday's fuck session had 'primed the pump' as i like to say - and i was SO ready for it) and Sir is fucking me and i am thrusting backwards.. and moaning and everything that goes into a good fast fucking...and begging for permission to cum.. and it was granted ......... and OH MY GOD .. what a mess i made all over the kitchen floor.. from one side of the kitchen almost all the way to the other side!! (talk about squirting!!)

Sir made this comment about my neighbour going past to the garbage dump... and left the impression he had seen what had been going on..... my heart was pounding.. and my face got red.. and dear lord in heaven i LIKED the idea !! sort of.. kind of... in an embarrassing sort of way .......

Sir walked back to me (having looked out the window) and He had this wicked evil grin ........ and said something about giving him a better / second look......... and before i knew it Sir had me bent over the counter fucking me AGAIN!! do you know how long it has been since Sir fucked me twice in a row?? no i don't remember either....

Anyway.. i came - AGAIN - and it was amazing and wonderful and all that good stuff....

i managed to finish making dinner on wobbly legs....... with a big grin plastered to my face.

Polite Canadians??

Spankedhortic asked:
Over the years I have met a few Canadian kinksters, when they have been visiting this side of the pond. They very often seem to me to be less guarded about their lifestyles than we Europeans and even those from the USA. Is this a result of living in a less oppressive society? Is Canada, as a whole, comparatively more excepting of those of alternative lifestyles than other western countries?

That's a really tough question for me to answer Spankedhortic... because quite truthfully i am not sure. (and again i can only try to answer the question from my point of view)....

i know that i am very guarded about my lifestyle - because of my profession. Being outted as someone who likes to be tied up and beaten is not exactly something i would put on a CV for a new job....... Sir on the other hand is not as worried - his friends/co-workers are more or less aware of His lifestyle.


A few examples of kinky tolerance here in the Great White North - at least my end of it...

This past February we did have a Sex convention open to the public at our Convention center.. (Sir and i didn't go - but Sir has been before and He said it was mostly sex toys and sexy lingerie) BUT this year they were going to have "Le Dungeon" and people would be encouraged to come and ask questions of the kinksters who were attending the booth - and performing kinky acts. Sir and i were asked if we would take part in the demos.. i was told i could wear a costume and a mask.... BUT .. as everyone knows that i am with Sir... it seemed pointless to cover my identity. So we didn't participate.


There used to be a Kinky Club right next door to a police station - and kinky folk would walk by in all their glory to enter the club. You can't tell me the police didn't have a clue what was going on......... but they seemed to turn a blind eye.


Sir and i belong to a "community club" in our Nation's Capital. Twice a month they have BDSM evenings. This is a legal "club" and listed as being a private club for alternate lifestyles. BUT i know for a fact most don't publicize their involvement for the same reasons i don't. Being a private club with "dues to pay" seems to cut them some slack.


i also know that swingers clubs are now tolerated and semi legal here in Canada - which some seem to think brings us one step closer to having BDSM clubs accepted?? tolerated?? semi-legal???


Is Canada less oppressive than other countries?? Are we??? Is it our innate "politeness" (often joked about - sometimes maligned) that makes us seem more open?? Perhaps it is just our desire to mind our own business and let others mind theirs........


i don't feel i answered your question very well Spankedhortic - but unfortunately it is the best i can do.

And now for something completely different.......

i was cleaning out my files this week - looking for all the tax information.. and i went through a file i have from way back when...... on BDSM information... and i came across this "red necks for Doms" ........ i have no idea who to give credit to.. but it isn't mine !!

(you may have already read these.......... but if not.. enjoy)




If you're a dom whose idea of the "perfect scene" is a Bud Lite commercial at half time - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that a "red bottom" is one of them there "foreign" beers - You ain't

If you're a dom who thinks that "a paddling" is something you do when the trolling motor on your bass boat runs out of gas - You ain't

If you're a dom who thinks that "a slave contract" is a right you lost in the War of Northern Aggression - You ain't

If you're a domme who thinks that "a cock ring" is a place for fighting chickens - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "suspension" is something that holds up your pants - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks "bondage" is a series of spy movies - You ain't

If you're a dom who thinks that "ball gag" is a joke about sports - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "stocks" are something rich people invest in - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that a "crop" is this autumn's wheat harvest - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "topping" is what Dairy Queen puts on your banana split - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "nipple clamps" are plumber's tools - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that orgasm is the art of Japanese paper folding - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that handcuffs come in only two styles: fur-lined and miniature key chain - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that "blind folding" is packing away your duck blind at the end of hunting season - You ain't.

If you're a dom who thinks that a "yoke" is something you dip your toast into each morning - You ain't

If you're a domme who thinks that C&BT is a place where you'd like to open a savings account - You ain't.

That's all folks !!!!!


(for now)

Let's talk about Sex..

Ok... folks.. slow down..... and pay attention...

First off.. i have always said i tell NO lies on this blog..

So when i say that Sir fucked me .. or whatever term i use (kinda depends on the mood ) i mean just that .. Sir fucked me.

He may not use His cock.. but that does not mean there are no sexual relations between us. Quite the opposite. In all honesty - i have never had such great sex!! with a cock or without ....

i just wanted to set the record straight.

The Truth about growing older.....

Ok.. it is OUR truth about growing older.. and may not apply to you or yours...... but kaya asked about our bodies giving out before the kink.. and how it will (DOES) affect us.......

The truth of the matter is .. there are already loads of problems with aging bodies.. and i am not even sure how to explain the "joys" of aging.. (without depressing myself.. Sir and everyone else!!) i said i had asked Sir's permission to have this frank discussion.. because quite truthfully - it is ok for me to talk about my old body.. but i wasn't entirely sure Sir would want me to be as honest and open about His problems....... BUT... Sir agreed.. so i am gonna try and tackle this discussion.. the best way i know how........

i have noticed some major changes in my physical appearance....... like lines and wrinkles .. thinner hair... drooping boobs.. sagging muscles.. (and yeah yeah i know i should exercise more !! it would help - and i do keep promising myself i will start..) but my god my days are long enough now... up at 5:30 working out of the house till 5:00pm most days..... dragging myself home..to clean and do laundry and run the other business i own and operate.. When i talk to the doctor about this tiredness.. her answer is.. compared to what?? and when i am forced to admit to a few years ago.. she is quick to point out i was a few years younger then......... that i have done nothing to cut back on my scheduling.. and so this weariness is to be expected !!! i have trouble accepting that... i just need 36 hour days and i am sure i could fit everything in...... as well as some time on the treadmill !!
So.. the tiredness makes playing difficult to schedule.. if it is after 9 pm i am pooped (yes even on the weekends) and i would be much happier playing in the middle of the day........ going out to clubs and play parties is hardly exciting anymore... as they don't open until 10pm.. and most don't start "playing" until midnight or later.. by that point i am so ready for bed !!! and when i am tired i get weepy.. or worse - cranky !!!

My joints hurt... and that is to be expected.. i was diagnosed a few years back (ok more than a few years) with arthritis in my lower spine and both knees .......
So intricate bondage ties are out of the question.. like hog ties... the joints just don't bend like they have to for such difficult ties... and that is a huge disappointment for Sir.. i know !!! Also with arthritis in the lower spine.. flogging my cute lil ass becomes a lesson in target practice... cause if you hit the arthritic area i shout and cry and curse....... cause it hurts and not even close to a good hurt.

My skin is dryer .. VERY dry.. and scaley and no matter what fancy creams and lotions i buy.. i just barely keep it moisturized.. dry skin cracks and bleeds .. and is soooooooo unattractive !!!
So far this has not become a problem with any form of kink.. unless you count my ugly scaly body being a total turn off.. it is for me !!!

i now have high blood pressure - and take pills daily for it.. it is controlled and nothing to worry about anymore.. but hanging upside down makes my head spin more than usual.. and is worrisome.. cause i can feel the blood pressure going up..
This became even more clear at the BDSM B&B Sir took me to for my birthday..... Sir was so excited to see they had a winch and suspension and couldn't wait to hang me upside down... BUT because of the health issue.. had to leave my head and shoulders on the ground.......... big disappointment for both of us

And i have noticed a waning in my sexual desire........ ok ok.. not a huge waning.. but still......... where i used to be horny - dripping wet .. aching horny - every single day !! Now i find i can go a week or two without any real aching desire for sex.....
the doctor says it is a normal reduction in libido due to post menopause .. and nothing to be concerned about.. with a little work it all comes back........ "a little work" .......... it was so much more fun when i needed NO work.. and was ready and able at the snap of a finger !!!
This is turning out to be a plus ......... as Sir's libido has dwindled much more than mine....... and He rarely thinks about it (well i am not sure about the 'thinking' bit).. but rarely seeks out any form of sexual activity - i will discuss that in a bit....

Sir's health has been problematic for a few years - even before i met Him. He is diabetic and has a heart condition. He takes handfuls of pills 3 times a day. He takes His blood sugar readings 3 times a day. He has had to have His gall bladder removed. His doctor watches His kidneys and liver closely - due to the diabetes. It is a worry for both of us.. not in a constant nagging way... but it is always in the back of our minds.

Between His health issues and His age......His sex drive has dwindled.......... and lately He can not achieve an erection. AND because of the heart issues has not been allowed to take Viagra or any other magic lil pill.

These issues have caused troubles for Sir and His kinky side. He has tried to explain (and done it quite well actually) how when He is beating my ass.. or sticking needles in me.. or any other kinky activity....... His mind tells Him He is horny - aroused and needing to fuck me. Yet no matter what we try.. even my very best blow jobs - nothing seems to help Him realize a full erection - or be able to maintain it.

You can well imagine how difficult this situation makes it for both of us. It is one of the main reasons i feel any session with Sir is for me.. more than for Him. i question what He gets from it .......... other than the pleasure of seeing me contented and purring like a cat. His body is telling Him He has a need - and yet the need can not be fulfilled.

The doctors have now told Him .. that He is allowed to try Viagra. They even gave Him a prescription for it... which He filled. However He has not opened the package. We talked about that last week. His mind is full of doubt and worry. And it is to be expected. What if the pills don't work??? that would take away the last hope of being able to fuck me.......... What if He takes the pill and has chest pains......... then He can't take the nitrates needed to ease the pain/heart problems. It is a mental exercise in frustration.

As well ........... because of His heart attack.. Sir's sleep patterns are very different from mine. He needs 4 - 5 hours a night........ and often times doesn't come to bed till the wee hours of the morning. He is ready to play around 9 - 10 pm.. while i am heading off to bed. Now that is a real headache !!!


i have wracked my brain to see if i have covered it all......... probably not.. i have probably missed something........... BUT life becomes more challenging as one ages (in every aspect of living)....... ya just gotta try and find ways to overcome the challenges.. and compromise. And thank the gods that be that you are given yet another day to fight the good fight........ no matter the challenges.

bad sub

Sir was out last night....... and as happens when He is out.. i was left two tasks to complete.

1) to clean the upstairs bathroom
2) to organize my paper work for my taxes.

and i was to wear the clamps on my pussy and my tits (yuck) while i was doing the tasks.. (though i did point out to Sir that that would mean i would be clamped for HOURS!! so He agreed to let me wear them until i hit the wall - then i was allowed to remove them)

Well.. i started on the tax papers.......... and my god every year i forget how much work it is !! i stopped at one point to go and get the clamps...... and i did put them on......... they hurt.. and they made me angry......... actually i think it was more the paper work that was making me angry..... BUT... the anger was redirected at the clamps.. and the pain........... go figure.......

i am not sure how long i had the clamps on.. i guess about 20 minutes.. and i was so angry at that point i was almost in tears.. i just about ripped the damn things off.. cried cause dammit it hurt !!! then i went back to the paper work..........

After a good 2+ hours i had finally done all i could do for now........ i am missing one set of forms and one set of receipts (the receipts come from the bank and i am hoping - if memory serves me right - they come in around mid March - if not i have to beg another copy......... )

i cleaned up the mess .. organized the piles of paper... shut the lights off and came upstairs........ and stamped my foot. i did NOT want to clean the bathroom.. and i didn't.

This morning i am feeling guilty.... how hard would it have been to clean the bathroom - another 20 minutes or so........... but i didn't do it ....... and i had to 'fess up to Sir.

In all the time we have been together i honestly don't remember so blatantly ignoring /refusing to do a task.......... a simple one at that.

shoot me now....... k?

And then to make matters worse........This morning i discovered that Sir posted to His blog yesterday.........and as much as He is questioning how well He "dommed" me........... i am left feeling very guilty ... as there were things said... things done.. that i should have picked up on.. IF i was a good sub.......i would have given Sir's house a quick spruce up... you know running the mop and duster around.. and i didn't do it !!! OHHHHHHHHH i had very rational reasons for not doing it...... but still i am left feeling lazy and self-centered.. and very much a bad sub.. guess i am not as much a "service orientated sub" as i originally boasted about in my answer to kaya's question........ and i am embarassed to admit it :(

Think i am gonna have to do some navel gazing and work that one through...... yup.. gonna have to work that one through for sure !!!!

Short and sweet Q & A

Florida Dom asked a follow up question:
If you don't mind just one more question: Is being shaved by Sir a turn on and foreplay for a scene? And how often does he do it?

When Sir first started shaving me, it was at first humiliating - being so exposed and open to Him .......... major mind fuck !!! Then yes it was (still is) a turn on. His fingers opening me.. tugging my pussy this way and that..... lifting my clit by the jewelry and moving it out of the way.. yeah it is very much a turn on.

And no it is not foreplay to anything. It is simply a task that needs to be done.

As for how often He shaves me - well i only see Sir on weekends - so the simple answer is once a week. But it isn't all that simple. Often times a weekend will come and go and the shaving won't be done. i like to be clean shaven - so unless i am under orders not to shave myself - i will often shave myself every couple of days or so.

Carrie Ann and Spankedhortic asked:

This has nothing to do with anything but...
Every day I ask myself...
I wonder why she chose that color to type in?

So.

Lol.

What decides the text color of the day?

This question made me laugh. You see i am mostly colour blind. i see primary colours but not shades of colours......... So the colour i see is not necessarily the colour you see.

BUT .. to answer the question of how i decide what colour to use......... i have a couple of criteria - if i am using a picture to illustrate the topic.. i try to match the font colour to one of the colours in the picture.

If there is no picture to match to.. then i tend to pick a colour that matches my mood .. or the mood of the blog entry.

AND when all else fails - i chose a colour i think looks best with the background - my blog template has changed over the years and some of the backgrounds were different colours .

Now kaya - you have been very patient........ i haven't forgotten your questions.. saving the best for last (right - that's what i am doing .. saving the best for last!!)

Pussy torture questions

Florida Dom asked: Here's a question about your two pussy torture photos. One has pussy hair, one doesn't. One has needles, one has a padlock so I assume they were done at different times. Could you explain how much pain is involved, how much of a turnon it is, how often is your pussy tortured and how long do the needles and/or the padlock stay on. Any thoughts on the whole process would be appreciated. And if everyday life, are you usually completely shaved or do you have some hair the way you did in the one photo.

i have a feeling i am going to disappoint you Florida Dom....... the pictures on my Photo Journal are generally not pictures of me.... though i have thrown in one or two of my own from time to time... the pictures are actually ones Sir sends me from His many lists. Therefore i cannot answer your questions re the pussy torture in those pictures.

i can however answer your questions about pussy torture from the experience i have .......
i personally love most forms of pussy torture and it is a major turn on for me. BUT i have not yet shown (nor has Sir ) much interest in shoving needles through my pussy.. i was pierced once - that was an orgasmic moment.. but not one i wish to experience again any time soon.

For the record Sir has clamped my pussy using bull dog clamps - clover clamps - clothes pegs - mouse traps - and chopsticks with elastics. Sir has used the cups on my pussy.. and i am including a picture of the most recent clit cupping (done this past week). Sir has used hot wax on my pussy. Sir has cropped and flogged my pussy. Sir has done bondage through my clit ring (which i can honestly say was amazing !!! and terrifying at the same time. i was so scared the ropes would rip my ring out ) Sir has hung weights from my clit ring.......... at first again those scared me as i feared the ring would rip through the skin..... but once i got used to them.. it was fun walking .. and i even put a little wiggle in to make the weights swing back and forth and further tug on the clit ........

mouse trap clamps

chop stick torture

new pussy stretching device

fun fun fun with clothes pegs

cupping the clit...

It is difficult to measure the amount of pain - anything that stops the blood flow to an area with clamps etc causes some pain.. and more pain when the clamps come off and the blood flow is restored... BUT to measure it?? what hurts for one - brings pleasure to another - so it really is next to impossible to answer that question.

As for how long these clamps etc are left on... for as long as my body can tolerate it.. and then a wee bit longer. Sir is always checking for coldness and colour ... when it passes some line in His mind - they all come off.. OR .. on occasion when i can't seem to get on top of the pain - Sir will remove the torture devices .. what ever they are........... It is much more fun for both of us if i am enjoying the pain... and exhibiting all the signs and symptoms of enjoying...........

Now as for the shaving question - i have been clean shaven for going on 30 years now.. it was originally a personal choice and then became Sir's wishes. My pictures show varying degrees of hair to nakedness due to the fact that most times Sir is the one who shaves me.. and it is done when He is ready - which isn't necessarily when *i* am ready.

i hope this answers your questions.. and isn't all that disappointing that i am not the subject of all the pictures on the Photo Journal.

As for the other questions - especially kaya's who was wonderful and gave me a bunch to answer.. i promise .. over the next few days i will get to them. kaya - i think i am gonna break your questions down a bit... if you don't mind.. some will require longer answers than others...

AND if anyone else has any questions.......... please feel free to leave them in the comment section and i will answer them.. i promise !!!

In case you all missed this bit in all the excitement of my new car............

This is Q & A month....

i am waiting for your questions...

ahhhhh come on folks.. some of you are new and haven't read ALL my blaterations right??

very private thoughts

Come sit.. i really need to get something off my chest...












And please don't tsk tsk me.. or say i am making mountains out of mole hills.. for some reason this really hit me last night.. like a punch in the stomach or a slap across the face...


Ok.. the gist of it..............


Last evening after dinner.. i came into the living room - having done the dishes.. and there sitting on top of my pc was the vibrator. i looked at it.. kinda smiled.. and asked Sir what it was for.,... (yeah i know stupid question) Once Sir had "drawn me a picture" i asked if i could wait for a bit.. digest my dinner - cause truthfully - horny was not what i was feeling last night.

i stalled as long as possible.. but eventually Sir put His foot down and the vibrator was gonna get used....

Now i didn't plug it in cause it really did seem to have a fair amount of charge left in the batteries... and (this may be TMI) i used as much spit as i could muster - cause when i say i wasn't in the mood.. i truly wasn't in THE mood.... turned it on and started playing with myself - trying to work up some kind of interest in it.

Now Sir had set the mood nicely - another nice fire.. soft lighting........

BUT nothing was happening.. i do believe i told Sir that my pussy was virtually fused shut. "sucks to be me" cause that vibrator was going in.., and i was gonna have an orgasm for Sir's amusement.. (and the more difficulties i developed the more fun it became for Sir )

So i was lying back on the sofa .. legs bent up and out.. and letting the magic vibrations do their work.. and it was sorta working but not really ... i wasn't getting that tingling in my lower belly that i get when things are coming together...Then Sir picked up a leather strap and started strapping my inner thighs.... and oh baby !!! it was like someone threw a switch... my ass was wiggling and those vibrations were the most wonderful feelings.. and that damn vibrator slipped in like a hot knife through butter.

My world was starting to warm up.. and my belly was tightening quite nicely..... when.. wouldn't you know it.. the damn batteries started slowing down.. and no matter how hard i tried to keep the feelings they were ebbing faster than the vibrator was dying......

i sighed and told Sir it was no use i was gonna have to plug it in. talk about ruining the mood !!! Sir sat back down in His chair... and i got up and fiddled with the cord.. and the plug and finally got the damn thing plugged in and vibrating at top speed again...

BUT the mood was gone... and as i lay there with my legs bent up and out .. and the vibrator doing it's best to bring back the tightening in my lower belly ............. i realized what i really wanted.. really truly wanted..

was the leather strap hitting my thighs again.


i laid there filled with - i am not really sure what emotions.... i know i felt embarrassed to ask Sir to strap me again.... it seemed so......... perverted.

But i did.. ask that is.. .and Sir did.. strap me that is........

And i had a very nice orgasm thank you very much for asking.............

BUT i was left reeling after wards..
left feeling "what is wrong with me?"
left feeling somehow.. kinda.. dirty - like the first time i ever masturbated and i thought how dirty it made me cause "nice girls did not EVER masturbate" and now .. now i get off with a vibrator going full blast.. and Sir using leather straps to hit my thighs.... my god .. how perverted is that !!! and i ASKED for it !!!!

i personally think it was my "asking for it " that did it.... turned it perverted / dirty in my mind... usually sex is in the middle of a session.. when i am dripping / gushing buckets and already pleading for an orgasm... this time i had to "ask for it" which means i can't pretend it was all HIS idea can i? (so to speak) ..

You'd think by the time you get to my age... things like this just wouldn't throw ya......... but this threw me.... BIG TIME.

Though in the morning sunshine.. with Sir smiling at me.. (is it a knowing type of smile?? a "I told you so" smile?? ) i know if it ever happens again - this need to be slapped/hit .... i will ask again... cause DAMN .. in the long run it WAS so good !!!

spanking equipment

Sir has all sorts of spanking "equipment" ... from a kneeling bench .. to a spanking horse.. to a St. Andrew's Cross........ but the most devilish - evil - piece of equipment He has ... is... the couch in His living room.

Here is Sir's chair............ do you see the brown handle sticking out of the pocket on the side..



Here look closer............... see it??



Well that is a leather paddle i bought a while ago.... it wasn't really ever used at the condo so i was ordered to add it to the toys that were to be brought and left at Sir's house.
It is nasty.. a thick piece of leather that is really two pieces stitched together.. leaving the two ends free for a "slapping effect"... trust me.. the "ouch" value is high....




Now the couch is just a couch.. until Sir tells me lie face down on it... which He did the other night.. as He gleefully pulled the leather paddle out of the pocket of His chair. There was a nice fire burning in the fireplace.. candles on the window ledge.. really quite romantic !!! i was thinking .. comfy sofa.. romantic fire.. no problem. Yeah right !!! Problem with lying face down on the couch.. my head is resting on one arm and my feet pressing against the other..... see the problem?? absolutely no wiggle room....

And then Sir started off slow with the leather paddle .. and started to build.... In no time at all i was trying to wiggle.. no go.. i tried pleading.. right - like that ever works !!! so i just buried my face in the pillow.. gritted my teeth.. and decided to wait it out........

Then i am not sure what happened.. i turned my head... watched the flames dancing and licking at each other.. pretty colours of yellow and red and blue.... out of the corner of my eye i could see Sir's arm swinging the paddle.. and i half realized how hard He was swinging.. how hard the paddle was hitting..

But the weird thing..... it was like watching a movie... my ass was getting hotter... Sir's arm was moving backwards into my line of vision every second or so.. the fire was dancing and leaping... what a weirdly romantic evening........ and plenty of time to watch the fire fairies dancing and laughing and playing...............