very private thoughts

Come sit.. i really need to get something off my chest...












And please don't tsk tsk me.. or say i am making mountains out of mole hills.. for some reason this really hit me last night.. like a punch in the stomach or a slap across the face...


Ok.. the gist of it..............


Last evening after dinner.. i came into the living room - having done the dishes.. and there sitting on top of my pc was the vibrator. i looked at it.. kinda smiled.. and asked Sir what it was for.,... (yeah i know stupid question) Once Sir had "drawn me a picture" i asked if i could wait for a bit.. digest my dinner - cause truthfully - horny was not what i was feeling last night.

i stalled as long as possible.. but eventually Sir put His foot down and the vibrator was gonna get used....

Now i didn't plug it in cause it really did seem to have a fair amount of charge left in the batteries... and (this may be TMI) i used as much spit as i could muster - cause when i say i wasn't in the mood.. i truly wasn't in THE mood.... turned it on and started playing with myself - trying to work up some kind of interest in it.

Now Sir had set the mood nicely - another nice fire.. soft lighting........

BUT nothing was happening.. i do believe i told Sir that my pussy was virtually fused shut. "sucks to be me" cause that vibrator was going in.., and i was gonna have an orgasm for Sir's amusement.. (and the more difficulties i developed the more fun it became for Sir )

So i was lying back on the sofa .. legs bent up and out.. and letting the magic vibrations do their work.. and it was sorta working but not really ... i wasn't getting that tingling in my lower belly that i get when things are coming together...Then Sir picked up a leather strap and started strapping my inner thighs.... and oh baby !!! it was like someone threw a switch... my ass was wiggling and those vibrations were the most wonderful feelings.. and that damn vibrator slipped in like a hot knife through butter.

My world was starting to warm up.. and my belly was tightening quite nicely..... when.. wouldn't you know it.. the damn batteries started slowing down.. and no matter how hard i tried to keep the feelings they were ebbing faster than the vibrator was dying......

i sighed and told Sir it was no use i was gonna have to plug it in. talk about ruining the mood !!! Sir sat back down in His chair... and i got up and fiddled with the cord.. and the plug and finally got the damn thing plugged in and vibrating at top speed again...

BUT the mood was gone... and as i lay there with my legs bent up and out .. and the vibrator doing it's best to bring back the tightening in my lower belly ............. i realized what i really wanted.. really truly wanted..

was the leather strap hitting my thighs again.


i laid there filled with - i am not really sure what emotions.... i know i felt embarrassed to ask Sir to strap me again.... it seemed so......... perverted.

But i did.. ask that is.. .and Sir did.. strap me that is........

And i had a very nice orgasm thank you very much for asking.............

BUT i was left reeling after wards..
left feeling "what is wrong with me?"
left feeling somehow.. kinda.. dirty - like the first time i ever masturbated and i thought how dirty it made me cause "nice girls did not EVER masturbate" and now .. now i get off with a vibrator going full blast.. and Sir using leather straps to hit my thighs.... my god .. how perverted is that !!! and i ASKED for it !!!!

i personally think it was my "asking for it " that did it.... turned it perverted / dirty in my mind... usually sex is in the middle of a session.. when i am dripping / gushing buckets and already pleading for an orgasm... this time i had to "ask for it" which means i can't pretend it was all HIS idea can i? (so to speak) ..

You'd think by the time you get to my age... things like this just wouldn't throw ya......... but this threw me.... BIG TIME.

Though in the morning sunshine.. with Sir smiling at me.. (is it a knowing type of smile?? a "I told you so" smile?? ) i know if it ever happens again - this need to be slapped/hit .... i will ask again... cause DAMN .. in the long run it WAS so good !!!