Pavlov's sub

Remember back in September when i had that mystery bug.... and i was busy musing how i stopped before entering the living room.. because i was so well trained..and even though Sir wasn't there .. i still paused before entering the room??

i was thinking today how many other things i do without thinking.. because i have been trained to do them... or how many things i react to because i have been trained to react to them in that way........... and i thought i am like Pavlov's dogs.. ring a bell and i salivate.

Last week i was floating around on this massive high from our weekend away....... and even though i kept warning myself that it could not be duplicated.. not even repeated here at home.. i still had this inner need........ desire........ craving to go back to that 24 hours of beating and sex and beating and more sex.

Well the weekend arrived.. and i kept trying to stamp down the needs.. the wants.. the desires.. i didn't do such a good job at it either........ until Saturday when Sir said "downstairs".

Now i have to explain to those who don't know.. or don't remember........... Sir seldom takes me downstairs anymore.. it is chilly and damp (ok ok i know.. just the right temperature for a dungeon................ BUT not the right temperature for a naked subbie.. sorry no way no how!!) Downstairs means hard play - at least to this Pavlov's subbie it does.......... we don't go downstairs unless Sir wants/plans to use the hardest of hard toys......and a command of "downstairs" starts the adrenaline flowing before i hit the first step..........

This Saturday we even had the chilly and damp covered.. we had bought a brand spanking new heater that would keep me toasty warm................

So downstairs we went....

and i started the flight to nowhere land............

And Sir put the new heater on........ and strapped on the suspension cuffs.. and hung me from the cross..

And Sir started in with a crop.............. and then i think the teflon paddle....... and then He pushed His hand between my legs and fucked me.. despite my objections (it feels so good to say "no no no" and know Sir won't .. and Sir will prove i am a lil cum slut) and i got cheeky and pulled first one wrist out of the cuffs.. to scratch my nose.. and then the other.........

And it was over..........

just like that it was over.. and i was told to come upstairs........

my "elevator" as i tried to explain to Sir went from the top floor to the basement in a matter of seconds... the bottom fell out...... and i was spiralling down........... and everything just crashed...........

and i was sure.... no i was POSITIVE......... i had done something wrong..............

and i cried.. and felt sick to my stomach........

Sir made me talk.. made me try to explain what was going on with me..
Then Sir explained that He planned to give me a session on Sunday .. morning......... and had only wanted to tease me.. to fuck me and leave me wanting more till Sunday.............

i held on to that........ Sunday..................

And Sunday came and went...........

And i am stting on the bottom.. wondering if i will ever get up again...............

and if you have no idea what sub drop is like.. don't even try to understand this post.......

But .. if Sir says to me next time.. "downstairs" Pavlov's subbie will start salivating again.. the elevator will start climbing again.......... and i won't remember this world collapsing crash............ because i am trained to respond ............... and whether i like it or not.. i respond.