Wednesday, March 09, 2016

The Advantages of being # 1

As promised I really need to talk about the Advantages of being my own #1 - otherwise it might sound all woe's me ...... and it's not!!

Learning about Me is an advantage:

yeah believe it or not - for the first time ever in my entire life - I am finally getting a chance to learn about who I am - what I like - and what makes my soul soar.  Up till now it seems as though there was always someone in my life making decisions for me - guiding me they mostly called it.  It's about time - dontcha think - that I figure out who/what I REALLY am?  And yes there has been some (ok a lot) of angst while I struggle with this learning process and some missteps - but a baby doesn't get up and walk without a few stumbles.

Sex is definitely an advantage:

yeah sex !!  Before this point in my life - I had 4 sexual partners (and yes believe it or not I was a virgin when I got married)  And for many reasons - believed I was not very sensual - not very good at f**king - terrible at blow jobs - and was even called "cold and frigid" at one time.
 
Now - wow!  if I had known how damn good sex could be -  I might have made some changes a long time ago.  Hell I even perv cock pics on Fetlife now!  and have amazing fantasies !!  and am blessed to have learned that I love rough sex - really rough - and I love tender and soft - and everything in between.  

And best of all .............. I don't need permission to masturbate anymore and I don't feel guilty for wanting to masturbate - and I don't need to hide it in the dark - I can do it morning noon and night!!!  WOW!  who knew??!!

Freedom of Choice is an advantage:

Yup I have total freedom of choice now - what to eat - when to eat - what to watch on TV - what to wear - what to do and when. And when I wake up in the middle of the night I don't have to lie there afraid to move for fear of waking someone up - I can get up turn on lights and turn on my computer.  And I can decide to buy something if I want it or need it without permission.  And I can talk to people without fear of being chastised.  I can joke and wiggle my ass and flirt and taunt and laugh and cry - I can be ME without any judgements.  (ok I am sure there are judgements - just not ones I have to listen to or live with!)

Vanilla might be the best advantage of all:

Yup the best of all !!  I get to do vanilla with my family - for as long as I want or need.  I can laugh with them and grouch at them and not have to worry that someone is going to voice an opinion - make it difficult or uncomfortable to be with my kids / grandkids - or make me feel guilty for wanting to be with them!

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I am the luckiest mom in the world that my kids waited for me to return and welcomed me home with open arms and open hearts!


So yes I am my #1 - for now - maybe forever - but it is a happy place to be 'cause truthfully the Advantages far outweigh the Pitfalls.




2 comments:

AngelsQuest said...

You are an inspiration to me and I'm sure to others as well. Best sub frenzied moment I ever had was in reaching out you.

morningstar said...

@Angelsquest - and thank god after that first "sub frenzied" message I didn't blow you off (grinning) AND to be clear to anyone else - this is NOT a one sided admiration society - I wouldn't be where I an today without Angels' support and gentle pushes :)