Wednesday, March 09, 2016

The Advantages of being # 1

As promised I really need to talk about the Advantages of being my own #1 - otherwise it might sound all woe's me ...... and it's not!!

Learning about Me is an advantage:

yeah believe it or not - for the first time ever in my entire life - I am finally getting a chance to learn about who I am - what I like - and what makes my soul soar.  Up till now it seems as though there was always someone in my life making decisions for me - guiding me they mostly called it.  It's about time - dontcha think - that I figure out who/what I REALLY am?  And yes there has been some (ok a lot) of angst while I struggle with this learning process and some missteps - but a baby doesn't get up and walk without a few stumbles.

Sex is definitely an advantage:

yeah sex !!  Before this point in my life - I had 4 sexual partners (and yes believe it or not I was a virgin when I got married)  And for many reasons - believed I was not very sensual - not very good at f**king - terrible at blow jobs - and was even called "cold and frigid" at one time.
Now - wow!  if I had known how damn good sex could be -  I might have made some changes a long time ago.  Hell I even perv cock pics on Fetlife now!  and have amazing fantasies !!  and am blessed to have learned that I love rough sex - really rough - and I love tender and soft - and everything in between.  

And best of all .............. I don't need permission to masturbate anymore and I don't feel guilty for wanting to masturbate - and I don't need to hide it in the dark - I can do it morning noon and night!!!  WOW!  who knew??!!

Freedom of Choice is an advantage:

Yup I have total freedom of choice now - what to eat - when to eat - what to watch on TV - what to wear - what to do and when. And when I wake up in the middle of the night I don't have to lie there afraid to move for fear of waking someone up - I can get up turn on lights and turn on my computer.  And I can decide to buy something if I want it or need it without permission.  And I can talk to people without fear of being chastised.  I can joke and wiggle my ass and flirt and taunt and laugh and cry - I can be ME without any judgements.  (ok I am sure there are judgements - just not ones I have to listen to or live with!)

Vanilla might be the best advantage of all:

Yup the best of all !!  I get to do vanilla with my family - for as long as I want or need.  I can laugh with them and grouch at them and not have to worry that someone is going to voice an opinion - make it difficult or uncomfortable to be with my kids / grandkids - or make me feel guilty for wanting to be with them!

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I am the luckiest mom in the world that my kids waited for me to return and welcomed me home with open arms and open hearts!

So yes I am my #1 - for now - maybe forever - but it is a happy place to be 'cause truthfully the Advantages far outweigh the Pitfalls.


AngelsQuest said...

You are an inspiration to me and I'm sure to others as well. Best sub frenzied moment I ever had was in reaching out you.

morningstar said...

@Angelsquest - and thank god after that first "sub frenzied" message I didn't blow you off (grinning) AND to be clear to anyone else - this is NOT a one sided admiration society - I wouldn't be where I an today without Angels' support and gentle pushes :)

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