As promised I really need to talk about the Advantages of being my own #1 - otherwise it might sound all woe's me ...... and it's not!!
Learning about Me is an advantage:
yeah believe it or not - for the first time ever in my entire life - I am finally getting a chance to learn about who I am - what I like - and what makes my soul soar. Up till now it seems as though there was always someone in my life making decisions for me - guiding me they mostly called it. It's about time - dontcha think - that I figure out who/what I REALLY am? And yes there has been some (ok a lot) of angst while I struggle with this learning process and some missteps - but a baby doesn't get up and walk without a few stumbles.
Sex is definitely an advantage:
yeah sex !! Before this point in my life - I had 4 sexual partners (and yes believe it or not I was a virgin when I got married) And for many reasons - believed I was not very sensual - not very good at f**king - terrible at blow jobs - and was even called "cold and frigid" at one time.
Now - wow! if I had known how damn good sex could be - I might have made some changes a long time ago. Hell I even perv cock pics on Fetlife now! and have amazing fantasies !! and am blessed to have learned that I love rough sex - really rough - and I love tender and soft - and everything in between.
And best of all .............. I don't need permission to masturbate anymore and I don't feel guilty for wanting to masturbate - and I don't need to hide it in the dark - I can do it morning noon and night!!! WOW! who knew??!!
Freedom of Choice is an advantage:
Yup I have total freedom of choice now - what to eat - when to eat - what to watch on TV - what to wear - what to do and when. And when I wake up in the middle of the night I don't have to lie there afraid to move for fear of waking someone up - I can get up turn on lights and turn on my computer. And I can decide to buy something if I want it or need it without permission. And I can talk to people without fear of being chastised. I can joke and wiggle my ass and flirt and taunt and laugh and cry - I can be ME without any judgements. (ok I am sure there are judgements - just not ones I have to listen to or live with!)
Vanilla might be the best advantage of all:
Yup the best of all !! I get to do vanilla with my family - for as long as I want or need. I can laugh with them and grouch at them and not have to worry that someone is going to voice an opinion - make it difficult or uncomfortable to be with my kids / grandkids - or make me feel guilty for wanting to be with them!
I've said it before and I'll say it again - I am the luckiest mom in the world that my kids waited for me to return and welcomed me home with open arms and open hearts!
So yes I am my #1 - for now - maybe forever - but it is a happy place to be 'cause truthfully the Advantages far outweigh the Pitfalls.