Friday, March 08, 2019

Spring Break

Today is the beginning of my spring break.  The lil one will be at her mother's all next week.  And that is a VERY good thing!  I am more than ready for a break from being 'step mom' and all the questionable joys that go along with that title.

I posted on FB something about my doing the happy dance because of spring break... and asked the question "is it wrong that I'm doing the happy dance?".  What surprised me was a comment I received from an acquaintance..... she said... 

 I am actually quite impressed with the fact you can tolerate being step mom to such a young child. I have ZERO interest in every playing step mom again. Cudos to you for stepping up daily

At first I didn't know what to say........ I still don't know what to say....... It's not like I had a choice ya know?  It was a package deal -- Dad + lil one.  I thought it over a lot .... I thought I had a good handle on it..... I was wrong of course.  There's no way you can really understand what it means to become a mom again -- at my age.  You can't fully grasp the amount of compromise and sacrifice that needs to happen.  It's way different from becoming a mom ......... I did that in my 20's when I was young and stupid and had energy.  

I could have stayed in my apartment.  I could have made my own life -- and only spent time with Sir Steve on weekends when he doesn't have the lil one.  Had a grown up relationship -- part time.  I am guessing more than a few people would have done just that.  But I don't do anything half way ya know?!  I waited all these years to have him in my life -- to be in his life -- why would I wait another 10 years or so?! 

Are there days that I feel put upon and taken advantage of ....... oh yeah... days when I feel like I am the only one doing homework and working on social skills and how to take responsibility ...... oh yeah... are there days that I want to just pack it in and leave ... oh yeah.......... will I give up........ nope not gonna happen. 

So I will go back to doing my happy dance at having 10 whole days off !

1 comment:

  1. Hi Morningstar,

    Firstly, spring break for you means autumn creeping in here. Ugh.

    Not being a Mum, let alone step mum I don't feel qualified to comment. I can only imagine how huge starting over again raising another child is and everything that entails and you do a wonderful job with her and I think it takes a special person to care for a child that is not their own the way you do. I don't think it's wrong to be doing a happy dance.

    Enjoy the break and hopefully some fun with Sir Steve :)



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