2014

For the past month or so I have been feeling invisible.  No one (I repeat NO ONE) was to blame really.... unless you can blame "life".  Things just got off kilter.  W and I would go for days without saying anything of importance to each other (other than good morning... what do you want to eat.... and good night)

I was thinking I was expecting too much - needing too much - something too much.  Yesterday I just took myself out of the picture - took some time to try and put a different spin on things.. try to calm my inner voices (actually try to tell them to shut the fuck up )  ...took some time  to be quiet and still.

This morning something happened that made me realize what I had been missing.  W was making his breakfast (yeah I know bad bad subbie - leaving him to make his own breakfast) and I was cleaning up the kitchen from last night's dinner party............ and W walked up to me and walloped my ass - an impromptu hand spanking.   I laughed and twisted and turned and managed to hug him tight (which stopped the stingy spanking) .......... but as soon as I let go W started up again.  He was smiling too....... and he actually chuckled - something I haven't heard in a long time.

I realized I hadn't been missing massive play times or sex (well ok ok I had - but that's not the point) what I had been missing was this type of interaction between us... a hand spanking - some laughter - contact of the physical and mental type.........brief spontaneous fun .................

Day 2 of 2014 looks a whole lot better than Day 1 did