Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Two Faced Princess

In my world (and oh lordie how often do I discuss "my world"??!!)  People say what they mean and mean what they say.  Everyone can be trusted.  People do not deliberately hurt other people.

Yeah that's in my world of fairies and unicorns and perpetual sunshine.

In the real world that belief isn't even close.

When I moved here - I spent a lot of time sitting on the sidelines watching people - getting to know who was who and what was what.  Oh lordie there were a whole mess of people who wanted to fill me in on folks - who I could trust - who I couldn't/shouldn't - that sort of thing.  BUT I wanted to find out by myself.

The only thing is - there was one name that came up over and over and over.  Didn't matter who I talked to - their opinion was always the same.  This one - she wanted what she wanted and don't get in her way.

BUT she always seemed quite pleasant to me.  She even invited W and I to her house for a dinner party.  She supports the sub group I run and almost never misses a meeting.      But I have to admit - there was just something - under the surface that made my red flags flap - and the warning bells go off....like maybe how she tried to get an invitation to our collaring ceremony - and how she seemed to sulk when she wasn't invited.

She is a bottom and plays with a married Top. (and it's all above board cause the wife knows)  This married Top had other bottoms.  Slowly in just the few months I have been here all the other bottoms have disappeared.  Now he only plays with this particular bottom. 

Oh I have heard his explanations and they all make sense - timing - and attitude - like I  said his reasons all made sense.

BUT I kept hearing how this bottom made sure the Top didn't get too involved with anyone else.   To the point that the wife now won't be in the same house as this bottom.... leaves them to their own devices and comes home only when she is gone.  (and yes I have a very strong opinion on that - and have diplomatically told the wife my opinion) 

Once a month W and I go to a meeting of rope enthusiasts.  It is organised and run by this Top.  The bottom is always there.  She pretty much runs the show.  And yes it has been grating on my nerves..................but I controlled my irritation by reminding myself this is not a D/s relationship - only a Rope Top and rope bottom.  "bite your tongue"

Only thing is............... she has been making quips against W both on line and in person.  This has been her MO - to belittle and gossip and whisper behind people's backs.  It has been irritating me.............. and building - like a pressure cooker.  And you all know what happens when the pressure cooker has too much pressure built up inside.............

Last Friday night W and I went to this rope meeting.  She was in rare form.  She started making snide comments directed at W almost immediately.  I kept watching W.  My blood pressure was mounting.  He seemed to be shrugging the comments off.  

But then she said something - honestly I don't even remember what it was - and the smoke started to spill out of my ears.  I said - through gritted teeth - that I was going out for a smoke.  Another subbie came with me.  She hugged me almost as soon as we were outside.  She had heard the snarky comments - she had pretty much the same reaction as I had. 

I managed to limp through the evening.  But since Friday evening I have wondered about my attendance at further meetings.  NO ONE stands up to this bitch .....(and her TOP - bloody deaf and blind if you ask me!!) ........ I wonder if it would be unseemly for me to defend my Sir.... well actually would it be unseemly for me to rip this bitch a new one period???  I have had just about all I can take from her...............

Some days ........... I just want to cast a magic spell around our little home - lock the door and disappear from all the ugliness that lies just outside.


  1. Anonymous8:59 am

    After your talk with W, what did he tell you to do?

  2. If you really don't wish to attend Friday's meetings anymore that is fine, once you have told the host/hostess the real reason...


  3. Maybe not rip her a new one, but she will only continue, and escalate, if no one calls her on it.

    I say invite her to another sub meeting. After you have met with the other targets of her "wit". The rest of you can perform an intervention (or maybe exorcism). If a whole group of you publicly tell her to stop it she'll know she can't get away with it.

  4. i would definitely tell this 'bottom" your feelings- especially since you have talked about it with W. i dont see it as out of line- some women, no matter what their roles, can be snarky lil bitches and i really dont understand why. maybe her 'Top" doesnt realize what shes doing. maybe He will realize that its her that needs to go and not the other 'bottoms'. i dont know, but with W's permission, i would absolutely tell this woman whats on your mind.

  5. Anonymous8:30 pm

    Dear Morningstar,

    I am an anonymous lurker that wrote to you for the fist time a few days ago. I am respectfully writing to comment on your blog for today because in your writing I feel the love and respect you have for your man. Although I am new and have never had a dominant I hope you will not feel that I am being presumptuous by relating to your situation.

    I understand your frustration and I am glad another submissive was there to support you. I applaud your restraint in public and the respect you showed your dominant in discussing the situation with him.

    If possible I suggest that you ask that rude woman if you could speak with her in private. If you had made a comment that evening you would have given her a platform to further perform.

    In your meeting with this woman I would explain to her that you have not commented in public, in the past, out of respect for the people who attend the monthly demonstration. However, another rude comment or innuendo, out of her mouth or in writing, regarding your dominant will not be tolerated. She does not know you or W.

    If she continues to be disrespectful you should call her on it in front of the group. Use this a teaching moment, remind every one present of a key component of the lifestyle-RESPECT. How we speak to each other and about each other is important. Every day we are trying to teach our children to show respect and disrespect surely should not be tolerated in our adult communities.

    You and your dominant have to be prepared to end your relationship with that group until the dysfunction has been cut off.

  6. Thank you everyone for your thoughtful comments!!!!!

    W is insisting that I tell the Top (host) why I am withdrawing from the group. AND as I do not wish to upset the Top so I will continue attending with W.

    However - I will treat her like one of my rude kiddies if she starts sniping........ and simply point out each and every infraction with a polite - yet stern "Do you really think that was appropriate??!!" and might even throw in a "I think you need to apologize" if it gets out of hand.

    I also have decided that she and her spouse will NOT be invited to our Christmas/New Year's party. Something tells me that will sting way more than any lecture from me - or any other thing I (or the other subbies) can do.

    But again - thanks for your thoughts/comments and advise

  7. I know you don't want to upset the Top, but maybe you're doing him a disservice. You said yourself that he seems oblivious to his bottom's actions. While he may not have any control over her behaviour, he should know if she's driving away other people in the community from his events or causing them to become uncomfortable. Maybe if someone had said something to him ages ago, the problem never would have gotten this big. You don't have to go into specifics of what she's saying, just say something like "I'm very sorry but her frequent negative comments about W and other people in the community have made me feel uncomfortable and unwelcome."

    Life's too short to put up with people who upset you that often. I can guarantee that if you treat her like one of your kiddies, not only will she not get the point, but her vitriol about you (and maybe W) will get worse. If you're going to deal with her about it, you have to be direct. I hate confrontation probably at least as much as you do, but sometimes that's the only way to deal with someone who has run rampant and unchecked with that sort of behaviour. At least then you know that, by confronting her, she can't say she wasn't aware in the future and you've taken the high road by not going behind her back. If you really won't confront her directly, then I go back to thinking that you really should consider talking to her Top.


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