Wednesday, March 28, 2012

T.P.E. - edited

I just want to say I am leaving  this up for another day or so.... to catch any stragglers to the conversation.  I want to thank those of you who commented - and gave me food for thought........ and more questions....... I think I will post my follow up questions and see if any of you would be kind enough to answer them for me.... 
(definitely liking this role reversal - my readers opening my eyes and teaching me 'stuff') 

Someone asked me over the weekend about T.P.E. - Total Power Exchange.  

I know what it means - I even sort of know what it "looks like" ............ but my big stumbling block is - CAN it work??? 

Oh I am sure it can work for a short period ......... but for years??? 
Does the submissive/slave become a total and complete doormat........... with no thoughts of her own.. no desires......... no needs ... no wants??? 

Can it work if the submissive has a job/profession??? Can it work if Dom/sub don't live together 24/7?? 

You folks come here day after day .. week after week - reading my opinions on stuff.... some of you (god forbid) might even take my word as gospel...........

It's pay back time.  Yeah it is ........ time to pay the piper ............ time to give back...... time to open up (especially ALL you lurkers - yes you!!) to step forward - step up and help me out here.......... 

What do you know about TPE??? 

Are you in a TPE relationship?? Have you ever been in one??? Why didn't it last?? 

In your opinion does the submissive become a mindless drone???? a doormat?? a robot??? 

What do you have to say on the subject??? 


  1. Anonymous7:23 am

    I know nothing about T.P.E. Just what I've read on blogs. You've asked good questions, hope you get some enlightened answers.


  2. Yes I am in a TPE relationship and no I am not a doormat. It has been almost 8 years...known Master for 10. He believes it takes a strong person to be a good submissive. For much of those years, I was a junior high teacher...very much in charge! LOl...I have to add....our way works for US....yes we have "bumps" and issues to work out, but so far...we have been successful abby

  3. Ummmm...
    Well, yes.
    We have tried (and maybe succeeded for at least awhile) in creating and sustaining a TPE relationship dynamic.

    And, yes, during that time I worked in a very demanding profession. During that time, I was given a fair amount of leeway to voice opinions, ask for what I needed, and make it clear when I felt that I could not "do" whatever it was that He was asking of me.

    Our TPE fell away in the face of the storms we've endured in our life together in the last 18 months. I do not know what the status of that dynamic is at this point. I do not know if it will resume -- or if there will come to be something else in its place.

    I guess that my larger question, given what we've experienced, is not "Can it last?" or "Can it be done?" but rather "Is it healthy?" I am very worried that it was, in some large part, our TPE dynamic that kept us locked into the spiral that nearly swept us down the drain... As we work now to create something new, I think we will be much more careful. We'll be making a set of relationship agreements with a much more weather eye on the future.


  4. (i may have already commented. Not sure. Blogger took me to some unusual pages.)

    the Love of my life and i are very kinky. Always have been, and it was awesome for us to fall in this together.

    We've shifted our relationship dynamic back and forth but we always come back to a TPE.

    It doesn't make me a doormat, but we do a lot of things that reinforce dependence. i don't feel like a robot, but i feel very small when He and i are together...and i like it that way. It takes a lot of talking. It takes a lot of patience on both sides. It takes a lot of understanding. And the realization that reality sometimes demands things of a person that we somehow have to either let live outside of the TPE or find a way for it to fit.

    We've been together for 14 years and most of those have been as part of a TPE relationship... We've made it work - for us.

  5. i do not think the slave has to be a doormate certainly TPE is an extreme but it is slavery one a level i could not achieve yet would like to.

  6. Anonymous3:46 pm

    Yes it can work. In fact all relationships have some form or other of this. In the lifestyle it is just the amount of freedom you give the other party. There can really only be one person in control of a relationship. For if there are two then you can work at cross purposes. Say I want to go on vacation to spain and we talk aobu ti and you say you want to go to Icland we have to decide where we are going. A good dom will not be selfish and only seek his pleasure but will make sure his slave has the rewards she needs to continue to serve with an eager heart. You can beat a slave till she fears you and serves ot of fear or you can mix it up and reward a slave and have her serve out of desire and love. I think the dynamic gets twisted if one person is too selfish. It does not mean that it is even, in fact it is not even but on some things it is weighted to the slaves side. For instance if we are going to go out and I have no really strong conviction on where I might let you choose. If it is ok, I will agree. It is no different then if you mess up and I say, How many strokes of the cane or crop do you deserve. Too low and you get more than you I was planning on and too high you got more than I waws going to give. IT is all how a master wants to mold and train and own his slave. Some situations call for more freedom but you can make even those situation still part of the dynamic. For instance require the slave to do some duty for you while she is in her day job. IT can be noting more than fingering herself or sitting and closing her eyes and thinking of you. Control can be hard at times and it can be a very painful thing for the slave to give upp and the goal of the master is to make dynamic that the slave can release and escape into where all her cares slip away and her focus is on her master and his pleasure. I had this for a number of years till a situation not of our making caused it to break up. I seek this again and will not settle for less.


  7. A long TPE relationship CAN work. I'm proof of that because my own relationship is TPE and has lasted almost 8 years now. We took our time and built trust and knew what we both wanted in our relationship.

    I am not a doormat, drone or robot. I am a real submissive slave with feelings and my Master respects that.

    I personally don't see how a TPE relationship can work without living with someone but that's my own feelings on that.

    Hope I answered some of your questions on TPE.


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