Saturday, December 18, 2010

Patience - updated

Note to anonymous and all others who are jumping to conclusions........ This post is not based on any one blog .. it is based on a discussion I had with Warren concerning folks we know in real life.. outside of the internet So please do not assume because assume " makes an ass out of you and me"......

We all know that Christmas is a time for great joy.......but it is also a time of great pain for some.

As the holidays get closer I am hearing more and more pain from folks. And truthfully I am now losing patience with some.

I understand - I do !!! - that when you are going through a painful time it is really hard to see the future that lies ahead.. or even the good in the moment you are living through.

BUT my god !! you are not the only person on this earth that is living through a difficult time at Christmas... there have been many before you .. and many will come after you. Why must you continue to believe yours is the worst ?? that somehow you are special in your pain???

I don't get it. I honestly don't. And I have tried.. I have.

If I have learned nothing at all in my 60 years on this earth - I have learned (and it wasn't easy) that *I* am responsible for my own happiness.

I have a choice - we all have choices. I can chose to be miserable and wallow in my misery. OR I can chose to move forward - no matter how painful the forward movement is.. or how many times I slip backwards.. I can and WILL move forward.

I am not preaching from some elevated never been there place... trust me .. not even close. I have had some pretty awful Christmas seasons.... from the first Christmas when a family member introduced me to sex at the ripe old age of 9 ...... to the Christmas I lost my father.. to the Christmas I was totally and completely alone..... to the Christmas that I learned I had cancer. I am not special .. I am no saint. I just know deep inside me.. that there is no one .. NO ONE.. who can make the sadness better...... no one who can lift my spirits and cure my soul.

I have learned that money can not and will not make me happy - loads of presents under the tree will not make me happy..... drink will not make me happy (actually it usually gives me a headache) ... drugs will not make me happy..... people.. and family will not make me happy. And if I rely on those THINGS to make me happy I am going to be a very sad unhappy person. I am the only person who can chose happiness over sadness... happiness over pain.. happiness over anger.

It all seems so simple to me.... I wish I could make it all so simple for those who suffer at this holiday time.

I need patience...... got some to spare?

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous5:56 pm

    I know exactly what you mean. If I go over to that blog one more time and see him whine about not wanting to live one more day. ARG! What I want to say is, you will never get better until you stop blaiming and take some of the responsibility on yourself.
    On the other hand, it amazes me how those we expect to fall apart just keep on trucking. I have two friends who have lost a child to cancer this year. They are not wallowing in their pain but putting it to good use. Out there working for a cure, funds, and awareness.


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