AH HA moment

That picture depicts (in my mind) where i want to be one day......

i have used it many times over the years that i have been writing here on The Journey...... most of the time i thought i was THERE.. but as we all know i am not... and am working on getting there........

Something happened yesterday that was most definitely an "AH HA!" moment
and it has left me feeling more submissive than i have in a long time.........

Sir has a busy few weeks ahead....... with the 78th Fraser Highlanders... and most of the events i won't be attending. But there are a couple that Sir and i thought i would go to....

One is in September - and i honestly don't want to miss it.. i am even excited about it. In a nutshell - it is a trip to Quebec City to celebrate the battle of the Plains of Abraham. Being the history nut that i am.. this trip intrigues me on many levels.

The second is the Highland Games. One of days (it seems to be a 2 day thing in different cities) will be taking place not 10 minutes from the condo...... and i had planned to attend. In my mind i would go with Sir.. i would wander around and do my thing while He did His thing.. and we would meet up and have time together ..and He'd go off again.. kinda like what has been happening at the past events we have been to.

However Sir told me He had been talking to one of the ex-Commanders (a gentleman in his late 80's) and this gentleman was going to see if i could get in on his VIP pass..... which in my mind meant spending the day and evening (or most of it) in this VIP tent.. with this gentleman. i told Sir i really didn't want anyone to fuss or bother.. And Sir kept saying - diplomatically - 'we will see'

Well i slept on it.. and decided that i would write in my daily journal to Sir what my feelings were concerning this event....... and i rattled on and on and then sent it off.

Sir sent it back to me.. with the words "I want you to reread this email and tell Me what it sounds like"....

i reread it.. and immediately i knew..

i wasn't just telling Sir my feelings.. no siree bob.. i was telling Him what i would do and wouldn't do. BUT honestly i didn't see it when i sent it out...

i sent back an immediate apology ........ but had to add.. that i thought i had the freedom to write anything in my journal.. my place for free speech - so to speak. Sir answered right back... yes it was my place for free speech - BUT He had a suspicion that i would have said those things to His face if He had been here..

That stopped me dead in my tracks... i backed up... and i admitted yeah He was right!! i would have.. no doubt about it.

Now the whole reason this has made me feel more submissive.. more owned.. is simple .. Sir took me to task .. immediately .. over this incident.. He pointed out what i had done wrong.......... He took charge....and my god it felt good...

It also was an AH HA! moment because i could see immediately how i had worded the email.. how it had sounded... i could see the difference between voicing my feelings and telling Sir what i wouldn't do.........for me it was a light bulb moment.

This correction.. this attitude adjustment .. had nothing to do with corporal punishment or punishment of any kind.. and i believe that is important too... though i am not sure i can explain why............ attitude adjustments (for me at least) don't have as much to do with spankings or beatings as it does with making me see the error of my ways... (doesn't make sense to you does it?? shrug.. unfortunately that's the best i can do at explaining it)

Here's hoping that if needed.. there will be more AH HA moments.. where i really truly get IT. Then this road to the picture above won't be quite so long .. or quite so tedious.