Saturday night

And now we come to Saturday evening's play party and how i traded my body for a box of stationary..... BUT before i go any further.. i have to clarify that statement... i didn't trade my body .. Sir did !!!

At the workshops they had been selling raffle tickets .. and one of the prizes was this box of geisha writing paper. i coveted the paper.. i drooled over the paper... i fluttered my eyelashes and bought gobs of raffle tickets so i could win it. The drawing was to take place during the Mr Leather contest early in the evening......... Sir and i decided to skip the contest and have a rest .. shower .. dinner and change for the evening's play party. They promised me that IF i won.. they would hold the prize until we returned later in the evening.

Now before i go much further.. i have to share with you my state of mind as we headed back to the club at 10:30 p.m. i was nervous...... nervous may be too mild a term...... i was near panic........ During the caning workshop / demo Sir had mentioned a couple of times how much of a pain slut i was....... problem was / is .. we hadn't played hard for awhile... and i wasn't feeling much like a pain slut... and so i was a bundle of nerves.. worrying that i wouldn't live up to my reputation.

When we arrived at the club we socialized with a few friends.. while the play started around us. During these socialization times Sir and i often become separated. i was standing watching folks wander in.. watching some play going on..... when a submissive friend came up to me and asked me if she could use my body as a punching bag. Truthfully i thought she was teasing........ joking around. i looked at her puzzled and asked her to explain. she answered "you know .. let me punch you". i studied her some more (sometimes - no truthfully a lot of the time - i don't understand when someone is pulling my leg......... this was definitely one of those times!!) i asked her again... "you want to punch my body??!!" and she answered "yes" i shrugged my shoulders and said "i guess so........ but i have to talk to Sir" and she laughed and said "i already did"........ While my brain was processing all this mush that posed as conversation.. Sir and her Master came over laughing and she told them i had agreed. Immediately the box of geisha paper was thrust in front of my nose........ and she told me that was the payment for letting her punch me.

She went on to say how punching someone allowed her top side to come out and it always warmed her up nicely for a session with her Master. i was staring at the box of paper in my hands and nodding like a bobble head doll ........ i remember asking her where she was going to punch...... and she pointed to the play area..... DUH!!! i meant what parts of my body........ she explained only fleshy muscle bits would be punched.. not my stomach or face ..... i kept nodding and looking at the geisha. Finally i think Sir took the box away from me....... i honestly don't remember where it disappeared to. The next thing i knew she was strapping on a form of boxing glove....... i am pretty sure i must have looked an awful lot like a deer caught in the headlights of some car.......... i didn't have a clue what i had gotten myself into. (add to that the nervousness i was feeling prior to this..... and we can safely assume i was just about a basket case)

She picked out an area of floor and demonstrated why she needed room .. how she bounced around.. weaving and ducking. i started to worry that maybe i was supposed to punch back..... and asked what i was suppose to do! she told me to just stand there. And immediately she punched my shoulder. i turned and gave her such a look.. the "hey you hit ME" look and she started to laugh......... and then i started to giggle.. and the two of us fell into each other's arms laughing ourselves silly.

Then she started punching for real....... and i am just standing there staring at Sir and her Master thinking how silly is THIS??!! she is ducking and weaving and punching.. and i can barely stand still.... Finally her Master stepped forward and held my arms a little bit for balance.. well until she came around the front and went to punch the front of my thighs.. then He moved away and just let her go at it.......

There was quite a crowd that gathered to watch this spectacle (truthfully i have NO idea what else to call it)........ she is telling me how she took this workshop about percussion play put on by the Legions of the Night or some such name .. a group from Montreal.... and how she had really gotten hooked on punching.

i have no idea how long this punching went on....... i have to be honest and say that the total experience just felt silly for me.... it didn't so much hurt as kinda burn in places.. especially my breasts where she landed a couple of good punches....... but then it was over and she and i were laughing together and hugging.

Once the thank yous were out of the way.... her Master wasted no time in getting her tied onto a spanking bench and starting in on her ass............. and i can assure you .. for the few minutes i was allowed to watch.......i thoroughly enjoyed hearing her cries of pain......... pay back is hell ain't it??

Later i will tell you about my turn on the easel .......... and other interesting unnerving events from the evening.........

Resumed programming..

ok.. i know this morning's post probably didn't do much to stir anyone to philosophical thoughts ...... or thoughts of pain.. or thoughts of BDSM.. but it cleared my head and helped me step into the day with a renewed sense of well being........

now back to your regular program........

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Saturday at 4 pm found Sir and i attending a workshop in caning and paddling animated by JC Cestou - Mr. Leather Chicago 2007.

i have to say that not all animators are born public speakers BUT JC Cestou is a rare breed. He caught everyone's attention immediately with his wickedly devilish grin as he explained how he smuggled his "weapons" across the border. He talked a little bit about the history of caning........ and the use of it to this day in some countries. BUT he knew instinctively when to cut to the chase (so to speak) and get down to the 'fun' parts - the demo.

It helped.. i think.. that his volunteer was cheeky and re-defined (at least in my mind) the word "pain slut". My god ...... that man took everything JC Cestou had to give and actually asked for more!!! It isn't very often that i get to watch a caning session (in fact i have never watched one.. just been on the receiving end). It fascinated me to watch as the stripes started to appear across his ass. It hypnotized me - it really did!! JC Cestou explained how there were two styles to caning...... the British way and the Western way. He explained how he didn't much like the Western way...... he would demonstrate it.. but for the most part he would use the British style.

He checked with his intended victim that it would be ok to demo the British way first....... and as soon as he got the go ahead.. he swung and hit with everything he had....... absolutely no warm up. The submissive (i wish i could remember his name... hell i can't even remember his face .. considering as all we really saw was his naked ass) gasped and stood straight up........... then said "thank you Sir" and actually asked for more........ and more he got. Each different cane was demonstrated.. and each time the submissive would gasp .. stand straight up in the air.. kind of stamp his foot.. then say "thank you Sir" and usually ask for more!! JC Cestou would stop between canings and answer questions or point out interesting facts. i found myself growing increasingly amazed by the amount of pain the submissive took......... and found myself growing increasingly anxious to receive a caning session!!

The Western style was very slow and controlled.... and included a warm up (which if you ask me .. was a bit late in the game..... ) slow tap tap taps of the cane before one hard whallop. JC Cestou explained that the real reason he didn't much like the Western style was that he was a sadist and to him it wasn't about being kind to the submissive and making sure they were warmed up and enjoying it.. but much more about whether he was enjoying himself... (typical sadist if you ask me!!) The one thing everyone noticed was how JC Cestou kept running his hand over the submissive's ass......... and finally someone asked why........ JC Cestou got this devilish grin on his face and explained it helped him to check the damage being done....... helped the submissive cope with the caning..... and besides he said.. "He enjoyed the touching!" (wink wink say no more say no more)

JC Cestou also explained that a caning should really never exceed 25 strokes. (believe you me i made sure that Sir caught that piece of information....... cause i am sure i have had more than 25 in a row!! not that my scathing looks made one iota of difference to Sir!!) He switched to paddles after the 25 cane strokes........ and used the paddle pretty much the same way he used the cane.. no nice tap tap taps.. just hard whallops.. wham bang thank you ma'am kind of hitting.

i couldn't believe how fast the hour flew by...... i could have watched the session go on much longer....... and i have a feeling the submissive would have liked a whole lot more as well (at the evening's play party i did see the familiar ass up on a couple of pieces of equipment being reddened by more than one dominant)

i came away feeling admiration for this quiet soft spoken man with the devilish grin......Mr. Leather Chicago 2007.

sex and more sex....

On Saturday we arrived just in time to attend the first workshop which was "The Sensual side to BDSM" or how to use clothes pegs.. ok ok.. i know it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how to use clothes pegs in BDSM.. but honestly i wanted to know what more could be said on the subject. (we should have gone with our gut instincts...... not much else can be said - that hasn't already been said)......

After an hour of listening to the animator extol the virtues of safe clothes pegging...... and how stroking makes things erotic.. and how BDSM does not have to be about pain (ok what the devil were we doing in THAT workshop??!!) We decided to skip the next workshop which had been changed to foot /boot worship.....head out for some lunch and a visit to our favourite ever sex store......... Venus Envy.

It is a delightful store run by all these cute little lesbian 'babies' - i am not putting them down.. or exaggerating.... honest!! The average age of the clerks has to be 20...... and they just can't let you look by yourself... they are just ohhhhhh so willing to help you find just the right .......... whatever it is you are looking for.... Sir and i poked around in the BDSM toy section - but honestly how many floggers does one really need. i poked around in the book section .... and then the wall of vibrators kept calling my name.............. i walked over and started to seriously examine the vibrators........... and my spirit was weak.... ohhhhhh so very weak.......... i asked for permission to buy another vibrator.. (unlike floggers .. you can NEVER have too many vibrators!!) Sir and i were testing out the strength of the vibrations (NO NO not inserting.. just against our hands!! pleaseeeeeeeee it's not THAT kind of store!!) and i kept being drawn to the Hitachi ........ the only thing i didn't like about it was it has to be plugged in..........

Now ladies and gents... if i am gonna have a vibrator.. i do not want to be limited to an electrical plug.......i want to use that lil joy toy anywhere my Sir decides.......... BUT they had a nice lil spin off of the Hitachi that is rechargeable............ and has attachments......... it has two speeds... an "oh my yes" speed.......... and a "OH MY GOD YES" speed. We were collecting up our choices and dealing with the one clerk i could sorta get my head around (she must have been almost 30) when Sir spotted a "pc vibrator"... yes a PC vibrator... complete with a plug for a USB port. Now you know neither of us were gonna walk out of Venus Envy wondering what a PC vibrator was used for.. how it was used.........

To be honest my mind.. and i am sure Sir's mind .. had run to the fantasy side of reality....... i had visions of plugging that sucker into my pc...... and Sir somehow gaining access to the controls via the net..... ohhhhhhh my mind was running with the idea ... imagine having a nice chat with Sir in the evenings and getting 'zapped' every once in a while to keep me focused........... imagine writing for my Fictional Journey and when writer's block hits having Sir zap me....... oh yeah.. the imagination was running wild...........

In this case.. truth is no where near as interesing as fiction.......... how this pc vibrator actually worked was .. to be honest.. just plain boring......... it was explained this way........."wellllll if you are surfing porn...... and you want your vibrator at the same time this one allows you to plug into your pc instead of an electrical outlet"... That's it??!! That's all???!!! how boring..... time someone got busy and added a little programming to that sucker if you ask me........... they might sell a few more of them....

Fast forward to Sunday morning........ and please note this Sunday morning was after a very late night of playing......... i am sitting on the edge of the bed feeling very much like i had one too many of whatever the drinks were (even though i do NOT drink) and Sir pulled out the new magic wand. i am looking at Him like He has some serious brain damage..... does that stop Sir?? No sireee bob!! "spread em" was the order of the moment.. and so i spread 'em.. no attachments just the soft quiet whirring of the ball head against my clit.. and in exactly 2 seconds flat i was asking for permission to cum.......... and cum i did!! it was such a nice.. "oh my yesssssssss!!!" sort of cum......... Time to quickly catch my breath and the nice soft ball head was pressed up against my clit one more time.. and set to ......"OH MY GOD YES" speed........... and i was bouncing all over the bed.......... it certainly lives up to its name......... OH MY GOD does it ever !!!

Home again

We arrived home safely from Leather Fest around lunch time today. It was a busy 12 hours of workshops and play parties and i have to admit i am dragging my cute lil ass.

My mind is a whirl of the activities and fun.. people we met .. new and old.. contacts made... discussions held.... naked pictures taken in a hotel stairway (and NO no one gets to see those!!)....... shopping for kinky toys.....

i survived the play party - first public party in a long time............ and my stomach was doing major flip flops in the car last evening as we made our way back to the club for the party...... i quietly told Sir i was scared..... i knew it wasn't going to help much.. but at least He would have the information if ..in case.. please don't let it happen.. god forbid.. i had a major meltdown....... (i didn't have a major one.. just a small one)

i must have at least a couple days of blog entries stored up in my lil subbie brain.. processing.. editing.. weeding the wheat from the chaff ........ i will leave you with a little tease of upcoming entries.............

how i "sold" my body and my dignity for this box of geisha writing paper........


and how this handsome dark stranger figured into our weekend.............



oh yes....... and last but definitely not least.. what i learned about pc vibrators, hitachis and how i still blush quite easily..........

rare beast...

i have mentioned more than once here on The Journey - my love of all things "geisha". To me the geisha are the epitome of elegance and grace and all things feminine and submissive. Once .. way back when.. i re-learned the japanese art of the Tea Ceremony and actually did serve Tea a couple of times to Sir's guests. i spent a goodly amount of time trying to emulate all that is geisha........ But time passed and i seem to have gotten away from those ways... from the graceful serving and quiet step.

Today kaya wrote about the difference wearing a dress makes in her outlook on life..... how she is more inclined to put on makeup and do her hair .. jeans and a tshirt = grunge..
and i couldn't help but think how true that statement is.... how easily we can fall back into sloppy life styles....... slapping dinner down with no grace or pleasure..... performing tasks/chores because they must be done.. rather than because it is for Sir's pleasure or health......... just sliding from day to day with little grace or elegance.

On Monday evening Sir and i were out for dinner with some friends from the lifestyle. We sat opposite a couple we haven't visited with in a long while. Again.... way back when..... we used to "hang out" .. socialize together... and she and i used to share secrets and giggle and compare notes on what our Sirs expected from us. i was always most impressed by her ease at serving. Now it seems .. at least to me.. that the community here is not impressed with the art of serving.... as much as they are impressed with the latest fet wear.. and the latest S/M club (stand and model club) ... it seems to me that the art of serving as a thing of beauty and elegance is passé .. well that is until Monday evening.

i watched as she discussed with her Master what to order for dinner.. i watched as she ordered for them both.... i watched as she cut open his dinner roll and buttered and placed it on his plate without batting an eyelash. i watched as she served Him .. from the main course through dessert....... and it was a thing of beauty. i also listened as she laughed softly over silly things said to her.. not once did she roll her eyes or glare.. or show anything other than acceptance........ (wow!!!)

i thought perhaps i had been the only one to witness the elegance of serving that took place at our table...... but when i mentioned it to Sir He had noticed and admired it too. And Sir voiced what i had been thinking....... "it is time for us to go back to the serving with elegance and grace".

Serving with grace and elegance may be a rare beast - but it is not extinct yet..... thank goodness !!!

meanderings

Sir told me on Sunday night to set my alarm....... and i did.. and it didn't work. i checked and double checked and set it again..... and it still didn't work. i had no idea what do to.. other than throw the damn thing out and get a new one........ Last night i was belly aching to Sir that my alarm didn't work and because it wasn't working i wasn't sleeping - for fear of sleeping in. i told Sir i had checked and double checked.. it was set for AM not PM and still it didn't work. Sir looked at me and asked if the clock was set for PM or AM.. the clock?? it doesn't know automatically whether it is AM or PM?? i checked this afternoon...... the clock was set for AM instead of PM.. therefore my alarm was probably going off at 5:30 PM - but how would i know?? i haven't been home at 5:30 PM... Now i could have set the alarm for 5:30 PM and everything would be fine...... but i am a conformist sort.. so i reset the clock to the correct time period.. and hopefully tomorrow morning my alarm will sing out brightly at 5:30..........


i have noticed recently that i have been getting a fair number of hits from google.. how nice right?? people are googling things like clothes pegs and clamps and pussy and dropping by to visit The Journey. BUT i am wondering about the people who google innocent things like grandmother's corset or Norman Rockwell's Thanksgiving Dinner and land up on The Journey. i wonder at the expressions on their faces as they read... though perhaps they don't actually read..... having discovered they have landed up on an XX rated site.. perhaps they just "tsk tsk" and move on......... it makes me smile to think of all the innocent people that stumble upon The Journey and the shock waves that must hit.........



When i was going through the menopause process.. my nails would break if i just looked at them........ which was more than a little annoying as i had always had strong nails that grew nice and long. So.. for more than a few years.. i went and had false nails put on... and i always had a french manicure. i loved the way it looked on my hands. Then i got through the menopause thingy (or at least i assume i am through.. the doctor says i am through) and my nails are back to their old strength again. No more need for false nails. BUT i have been missing my french manicure. When Sir and i were on our cross border shopping trip... i treated myself to a french manicure kit. It promised to be easy as pie to apply. i can be pretty gullible sometimes and so i bought it. i have tried twice now to give myself a french manicure. The results have been ........ ugly... there just isn't any better way to put it.. ugly !!! The white tip polish is more like "liquid paper" and flows faster than i can control....... it lands up running down my cuticles over my fingers. i even managed somehow or other to get it all over my desk... i didn't notice and landed up plunking my elbow in it......... and it takes - trust me on this one - a gallon of nail polish remover to get the white off the skin and off the nails.......i am now sporting a very nice pale pink nail polish........ so much for french manicures !!!



i have been back at school for two days now. It has been so quiet i can hear myself think! The only people in are the caretaking staff, the secretary, and the roofers. The roofers are quiet but smelly.... god are they smelly.. well not them exactly - as i haven't actually "met" them..... but the new roof is smelly....... so i am caught between a rock and a hard place.. close my window so i don't smell the tar and die of heat stroke.. or open my window and die of asphyxiation. Today i was working away stuffing envelopes (i have such a highfalutin job don't i ?? stuffing envelopes!!) and i heard this noise...... a strange noise.. it started off soft and started to build......... i rushed into the hallway to discover 3 kiddies playing hide and seek in the deserted halls. In exactly 8 more days those 3 lone kiddies will be replaced by 300+ kiddies ......... and the noise i heard today will be welcome music to my ears again.

And that's about it for my subbie meanderings...... nothing very subbie like about them....but life is not always beatings and clamps...... sometimes life is just that.... life.

This and that...

Well Sir has just left me to go to the monthly munch.....unfortunately i am home.... recovering.

i have no idea - honestly - what i am recovering from....... i am thinking too many greasy fatty foods over the last few days have irritated my gall bladder again...... but i did have another of those weird shivery cold.. burning hot sessions with achy joints last night... so perhaps the bug from a week ago has been lying dormant?????? i honestly do not know.. and truthfully have no time or patience to worry about it.. i go back to work tomorrow..

This afternoon Sir pulled out some pretty lil clothes pegs He bought on Monday on our cross border shopping trip. He put them on my pussy lips... and i moaned and whimpered and cried real tears for the short time He left them on. The tears fascinated me.. i didn't consciously think 'ouch that hurts i am going to cry'... the tears just streamed down my face... and that surprised me. i found myself wondering where they came from?? Yes the pegs hurt.... and no i don't think i could have gotten past the hurt....... but still ... tears??

pretty little pegs..

nasty little marks...

No fears

If...... and it is a big IF.... i ever had any worries about having a house boy and how it would affect my mental space...... Sir washed those worries away quickly last night.

We actually had some vanilla friends for dinner..... i developed a headache.. i felt a little bit like Alice through the Looking Glass.. naked male running around the house in the morning.. and here i was playing at being the "hostess with the mostest" for the evening....

After our guests left i went up to bed.. i was exhausted and needed my sleep. At some point i was having this nice dream.. feeling all warm and cozy in the bed...... when i felt strong hands flipping me over... i opened my eyes and squinted.. Sir was lying beside me.. grinning...... that grin ! Next thing i knew .. despite murmuring dissent ........ Sir was fucking me silly (ever wonder where that expression came from "fucking me silly".. does one get silly from being fucked?? oh well.. that has nothing to do with anything.......) it didn't take long for the orgasm to build and spill over... and as it was spilling over i had this nice warm thought that i could now go back to sleep.......... did i say *i* had a warm thought?? silly me.. Sir had a completely different thought....... like another orgasm or two........... By the 3rd or 4th (was i supposed to count?? ) i was muttering.. "no no no.. not another one!" Sir brought me just to the edge.. and then pulled out.. grinning that MotherF*&%$king grin of His and said.. "ohhhhhh ok.. you don't want any more orgasms!!"

"excuse me???!!!" i was just there.. just about ready to have another one and He pulled out??? ughhhhhhhhhhh .... remind me to bite my tongue the next time i murmur any form of dissent ok????

Then this morning.. well.. we have yet another vanilla engagement this evening...... so Sir sent me down to the laundry room to get cracking on the ironing......i am standing there in the dingy laundry room.. naked but for a t shirt covering the necessities.. thinking i won't ever get a swelled a head with Sir around...... house boy or no house boy.... i am still Sir's to do with as He wishes.. when He wishes.......

yup....... no fears.............

summers end

i was sitting outside in my secret garden reading the mail, when i opened a letter from my school. It was the annual invitation to breakfast from my principal. i sat there staring at the letter thinking 'well it is official - summer is over'. i return to work next Monday morning, the annual breakfast for staff is the following Tuesday..... and the kids return on the Wednesday. i have exactly 4 precious days of holiday left.

On my first day of holidays i made a list of everything i wanted to get done over the summer... i crossed each item off as it was completed. The list is complete. The summer is over......... Oh there are things i didn't do.. that i had secretly hoped i would ....... like seeing more of the grandkids.. of going to the park near Sir's house and watching at least one of the fireworks shows.. of sleeping in the tent at least once during the summer.. but those things really don't weigh heavily on the negative side.. it was a good summer all in all.

i spent loads of hours in my secret garden reading 7 books!! (i am still working on #8) .. and i am probably browner this summer than i have been in many summers ( i don't intentionally sit in the sun or sun bathe) and i had lots of naps.. some in the morning.. some in the afternoon...... (i love naps!!)

But school beckons. i wonder as i sit here how my kiddies fared over the long hot summer months. i wonder if they are excited / scared at the thought of school starting.. and i am reminding myself to drag poor old Lemon Drop out of the corner .. dust him off and get him ready for those first school buses.

Another summer ends.. and another fall beckons............

Not rocket science..

Sometimes BDSM doesn't have to be major heavy scenes.. tied to a tree being whipped.. mummified and used as a serving table.. it doesn't have to take hours or be intense.. Sometimes BDSM can just be .............. whatever Sir wants it to be...........


When i was sick these past few days i was as weak as a kitten...... sex pain and rock 'n roll were the last things on my mind........ and it was the exact time i got the feeling that Sir wanted to play..... maybe He had been as psyched for our camping trip as i had been.. who knows.. but by Sunday Sir was bouncing.... antsy as i get when i am needing a beating........


When Sir established i was going to live........ He ordered me to get clothes pegs... i thought "ok.. i can handle some pegs"......... BUT Sir had me put them on....... ME!!! i discovered that - on my breasts anyway - pretty little flower patterns aren't gonna happen........ the pegs just bounce right off.. BUT if i put them on in straight lines running up and down...... i could get 10 on each breast...... Once i had finished with my breasts.. Sir told me to keep going and put them on my pussy........... now i learned something from this little clamping session..... if you are gonna do it to yourself..... start on the pussy and move upwards... it is ding dang difficult to reach around all those porcupine like pegs on the breasts to get to the pussy........

Now Sir didn't let me have all the fun........ when it was time to take them off.. Sir had the privilege........ and He was devilishly wicked about it......... the ones on my breasts He slapped off........... can i say OUCH!!?? ..... and the ones on the pussy........ (for some reason it was like they were glued on......... He would go to tug one off and i could feel the lip stretching way out there........ Sir let go and it sprang back .. sort of like it had a bungee cord attached to it........ Did Sir feel the least bit sorry for me?? nahhhhhhhh not my Sir.. instead He took firm hold of two.. one on each side .. and ....... ripped those suckers off .. and i swear took a layer of skin !! He did that with each of the pairs of clothes pegs...... can i say OUCH again!!!??

















Today we went cross border shopping.. it was a fun day....... though 4 hours shopping in a mega BIG Walmart was definitely sadistic ........ i always get lost in Walmart......... and managed to get lost twice today......... thankfully Sir found me both times......


Now if that wasn't enough excitement for this lil old subbie... on the way home Sir got this grin on his face.... He said He thought we should liven up some poor ole trucker's life by giving him a show.......... i honestly thought Sir was joking.. i pointed out i was just barely out of my sick bed... and taking my top off in the air conditioned car really wasn't what the doctor ordered ........ so Sir turned the AC off and just looked at me........

Oh yeah........ just for good measure He had His new camera in His left hand balanced on the steering wheel......... (see my jaw hit the floor??) So i was a good subbie and stalled as long as i could......... (that translates to read - i stalled until we had passed the truck) and then i wiggled out of my sweater........... Sir started snapping pictures...... and gave Himself a gold star for actually catching the moment ..........













No BDSM doesn't have to be rocket science - or fancy dancy scenes...... BDSM can be just what Sir wants....... and what fun that can be !!!

still breathing......

Thanks to Sir's creative doctoring methods i am up and about again...... still a little blue about missing camp and all the fun..... but yes i know there is always next year.....

i wanted to thank everyone for your kind wishes for my speedy recover....... never fear.. as my grandmother used to say "bad things never die!" (even though it might feel like i am dying occasionally)


Now i have a little secret........ shhhhhhhhhh.. come close.... you gotta promise not to tell anyone !!!!!




Sir is taking me to Leather Fest in Ottawa on August 25th ............ it's not as good as camp........ but it is a great substitute!!!!! We will even stay overnight....... and YIPEEEEEEEEE not in a tent either! And all the festivities that we are attending are indoors so it doesn't even matter what the weather is like !!!

We went ....... ummm...must be a couple of years ago now...... and had such fun !!! We are planning on attending at least a couple of the workshops.. the clothespin play workshop (now who couldn't use some advise on clothespins?? maybe how to put them on so they don't hurt so dang much when they come off?? i have a little story about that .. but will save it for another day !!) and definitely the caning and paddling workshop....... and then of course the play party in the evening............ now if i can just avoid any more mystery bugs!!

Tomorrow Sir is taking me to the States.. just for the day..... no camp or play .. but for the promised "south of the border" shopping spree.......... (ask me if i am feeling spoiled rotten?? ......... you HAVE to ask??!!!)

Everyone should have a "Doctor Sir"

green then blue

In case you all missed Sir’s announcement....... here's a short and sweet one from me..

Thursday night we made it to grandson's soccer game....... i thought it was a cold night.. i thought spicy sausages had disagreed with me... i was - to put it mildly- a little green by the time we got home....

By 10 p.m. i was shivering cold - and i do mean cold - like ice.. i was wrapped in blankets and still shivered ........ i tossed and turned and moaned from the pain in my body..... even my hair hurt !!! It was clear there wasn't going to be any 3 hour drive to camp on Friday morning........ we held out hope it was gonna be a short lived bug.........

Well here it is Saturday..... and i am upright (which is a marked improvement!!!) but feeling like a ten ton truck ran me over........ Sir says there will be camp next year.......

i am now more blue than green.......... disappointed and sad that i missed THIS camp.. and kept Sir home playing nursemaid.......

Summer camp....

This morning i dragged up most of the camping gear from the basement (though... ummmm .. the toy bag is still down there.. think Sir will notice?? )

And then i tried to sort out my clothes......... now when i used to camp clothes were never a problem.. swimsuits, shorts, tshirts, and a couple of pairs of jeans and a sweatshirt and rain poncho..... but packing for BDSM summer camp is a whole different thing. i had 2 piles on the bed.. one pile was in case it turned wet and rainy (which it has done every single year we have gone to one of these events!!) leotards, rain pants, rain poncho, warm thick socks, turtleneck sweater........ and in the other pile were the clothes Sir said i could bring..... my black velvet cape.. my black lace dress.. my tack bra (oh joy oh joy!!)

It was interesting last year .. our first time at this camp.... that so many people brought their fet clothes...... there were lots and lots of leather (which probably was a good thing for them .. leather does keep you warm)and some corsets... and a lot of just plain black clothes.. including Lady Kate's fancy black lace skirt that she managed to "melt" (yes i said MELT) on the propane heater. At past camps... Sir has always said i didn't need to bring any fet clothes as i was to be naked (weather permitting) the entire time.. oh wait.. maybe a rope harness to help me feel "covered" ........ This year i convinced Him that my lil black lace dress really doesn't hide anything.. and it would be nice to "fit in" a little bit.... and my black velvet cape is more a necessity as Sir always wraps me up in it at public play parties after a session........ the tack bra....... well Sir loves to put me in it.. and then encourage everyone to give me big tight hugs..... such fun!!! (see me grimacing??)

Last year there was an artist - Paedra - attending the camp, who offered anyone who wanted, a free portrait. Sir and i signed up......... well hells bells how many times do you get a chance to have a free portrait done?? The one thing neither of us anticipated.. well not really.. was having to hold the position for - what felt like hours!! Fortunately our scheduled time fell during the afternoon siesta - not a scheduled event - but it just kinda evolved.. people had played late into the night on the Friday.... and had started playing again right after breakfast.. so it seemed appropriate that after lunch many retired to their respective tents for a little siesta before the afternoon into the late night play sessions. And i have to add here.. during our portrait time was the one time all weekend the sun peaked out of the heavy black clouds, and warmed the air up a degree or two.


Anyway.. tonight Sir and i are off to watch grandson in his soccer game and then home to pack the car. Tomorrow morning bright and early we head off to camp........ who knows what surprises this weekend holds for us.........

i will be back here at the computer Monday morning as usual........... everyone have a great weekend - be kind to each other and play safe..........

steamy days and steamy thoughts

ok.. so maybe pictures of the train layout aren't so steamy to some of you....... but .. try steam engine - there now doesn't that count as an entry under steamy days?? oh never mind........ i wanted to post some pics of the campground and the
mountain/tunnel and waterfall (which by the way i am still not happy with - so don't be surprised if i rip it out one of these days and start over !!)

In the middle of this heat we are having........ (please let it stay till after this weekend!!) i decided we couldn't go to camp without some home baking........ so i got busy this morning and made a couple of ....... pans of sweets (i am not going to say what because i want to surprise Sir and we all know He reads my blog regularly) .... and then i got to thinking i should really organise some snacky stuff.. you know for pre-dinner drinks and appetizers...invite some of the campers over and share....... and then my mind went off wandering conjuring up all sorts of images.....

Sir is bringing the "glad wrap" industrial size to camp.... He mentioned it might be fun to wrap me around a tree.......... and i threw in some tarps because Sir packed THE waxing candle........ and well.... my mind took those items and imagined me as a serving platter for the appetizers...... all rolled up in the glad wrap - hygiene you know - laying on one of the tarps.......food laid out on me for the "company " to help themselves....... (if memory serves me right i did write something like that in my Fictional Journal). Anywayyyyyyyyyy... getting back to the point at hand....... all this imagining has made me rather hot and steamy..... and then i thought.... god forbid!! what if someone wants ICE with their drink??? do i have to be an ice bucket as well?? perish the thought.. this is my daydream.. no ice allowed!!! (oh and Cloud - no carrots either!!)




It's fun to daydream......... safe to daydream...... we just don't know enough folks at this camp to actually "invite" anyone over for drinks and appetizers.......but it did add to the steamy day .............

Just some Summer thoughts

Remember those buds of black eyed susans that i posted a while back?? well they are in full glorious bloom ....... brightening up a corner of my garden..... they make me smile..... i don't exactly know why except maybe because they are bright and cheerful and sunny......

Remember BDSM summer camp coming up this weekend...... well Sir made sure all the toys were packed on Sunday......... now i am just wondering if we can forget a bag?? just kinda leave it sitting in the play room....... ooops i forgot??

Remember how i had to take my lil red honda in for what i feared was a new transmission.... well it wasn't the transmission just a solenoid and i saved myself a heap of dollars ... YIPEEEEEEEEEE!!! The lil red honda now has a smoothly running engine.. a new windshield.. and next week new tires..... all set to start it's job of chauffeuring me back and forth to school....

And talking about school ......... swan posted a great Youtube video..... not something i am prone to do..... i usually find them long to load.. and sometimes a bit boring....... but this one you have to watch........ this video makes me remember a song from the 60's "Say it LOUD I'm black and I'm proud".. in my case.. "Say it LOUD.. i teach and i'm proud!"

hear me purring??

Sometimes things come together.. the moon and stars are aligned .. the tides are flowing..the creative juices are flowing .. and everything comes together .. fits together like a jig saw puzzle where all the pieces fit perfectly - and not one lil one has gone missing........ AND.. i am left purring like a contented cat.. smiling like the Cheshire cat.

Friday night Sir got this evil look ...... and i do mean EVIL look... on his face. He had read kaya's comment on my gift entry..... about Sir going over and over the "6's" 6 times (did i tell you they are still THERE!!?? a week later) Sir had me fetch the needles and then He proceeded to outline the 6's again.. this time with needles.. He wrote a blog for kaya about it....

Saturday was devoted pretty much to the trains and train layout...... until after dinner .. when Sir took me downstairs for a mighty session.. hanging me from the chains.. and using pretty much all the toys...... i could smell my scent.. i was sure He could smell my musky smell......... and i was so sure He couldn't / wouldn't ignore that specific need of mine....... (a need He says is pretty much daily if not hourly!) My juices were literally running down my legs...... (god i hate when that happens.... yeah yeah i would bitch if they didn't.. but i hate the sticky feeling.. especially IF there is no sex... it all seems like such a waste.. and i firmly believe all this liquid is not an endless spring of happiness.. like many who watch their biological clock for babies.. i watch mine for the sudden dryness that afflicts so many my age........ but i digress) Even when i was kneeling.. head to the floor .. bum in the air.. at Sir's feet.. thanking Him for the session i secretly hoped i would receive a quickie.. a "wham bam thank you ma'am" orgasm.. it wouldn't have mattered how quick.. all that mattered was some release........ but it didn't come.... i didn't cum..

Sunday i had nearly constant battles with my growing need for sex.. some sex.. any sex.. something!!! But i trudged on.. reading in my secret garden.. being cheeky with Sir..and yeah .. occasionally a little quiet - that Sir called moody...... but hells bells folks i had this HUGE itch that just wasn't being scratched and that tends to make me a wee bit cranky and out of sorts with the world.....

At one point after lunch i made up my mind i was gonna ask for permission to masturbate.. if HE wasn't gonna do anything.. i sure as hell wasn't gonna suffer along in silence any longer.......... instead i went back outside to my secret garden and tried very hard to read and ignore the deep ache........ and believe me .. it wasn't just a physical ache.. it was a mental ache as well...

i was sitting out there thinking (which yeah .. Sir says is a bad thing cause it nearly always lands me up in trouble) about how i know i CAN ask for stuff.. and it is almost always granted.. but i HATE asking.. it takes 90% of the damn pleasure away...... know what i mean?? And then this morning i was reading "View from the Floor" and there it was.. my exact feelings about this whole thing in black and white....the thoughts from my lil subbie brain..... thanks to carrie ann.

She wrote:
His will, his desire...for me, for the taste of my flesh, the thrill of my reactions, the rush of power that comes from controlling ME.

Sometimes you get the feeling they're only doing things because they know you need it, because they feel responsible for meeting your needs..

and i sat there saying.. "yeah girl! you get it.. you understand!!" that was the exact reason i had NOT asked for permission to masturbate... no matter how bad the itch....... because i wanted Sir to want IT.. i wanted Sir to fuck me royally without my asking for it........ i wanted it to come from HIM!

Anyway....... i digress yet again..........

Sometime mid afternoon Sir was sitting on the couch playing with His laptop .. half watching the TV .. and i had finally relaxed and though the "itch" was still there it wasn't driving me mad .......... and Sir beckoned for me to come and kneel by His feet. All i could think was.........'NO not another spanking!!" (imagine me NOT wanting a spanking!!) i just didn't think i could handle more pain without some nice little orgasm to round out the experience.

But spanking was not on Sir's agenda.......... no sireeeee.. neither was a quick "wham bang thank you ma'am" orgasm. Instead He started playing.. teasing.. pushing His thumb in just so far.. finding that lil dimple.. and teasing it.. i on the other hand was moaning and whining that "IT" was broken............ (and it felt broken! i had worked so hard to push those feelings to the back .. to hide them.. i didn't think it was gonna jump to attention just cause of one lil thumb tickling and teasing) Not to be distracted by my seeming disinterest in the whole affair.. Sir continued tickling and teasing.. easing the thumb out pushing it back in almost savagely...i felt the first soft stirrings that told me it hadn't died........ and almost instantaneously i felt Sir's other hand spreading me wider.. felt another finger sliding in... and i moaned oh so softly...... it had been so long since He filled me full .. full to the brim.... and it felt so damn good!!! Sir kept at it.. in and out.. spreading me wider.. making me moan and once or twice yelp with pain.. but ohhhhhh so good pain.......... and then i felt it.. the tightening in my lower belly.. the feeling that comes when you have to pee.. and i was barely able to squeak out the required request to cum............. and it was granted and i was arching my back and thrusting down onto His hand feeling it fill me even more .. feeling my juices erupting out of me........... feeling the tidal wave of pleasure sweep me away.

Yup.......... sometimes everything just comes together.. all the pieces fit...... and what a glorious fit they are! and i am left purring like a contented cat.............

fears and expectations

For a few years now Sir and i have been trekking off to BDSM camps in August. The first one we ever went to was a 10 hour drive away. i remember being scared and excited and shy and excited and scared .. should i go on?? i dreamed of BDSM 24/7 .. lots of play.. lots of learning.. lots of pain.. i remember thinking it would start the minute we left the house and stop the minute we returned. The reality fell far short of the dream.

The next year we went i wasn't so scared .. or excited.. or shy.. i had no dreams/fantasies and it all worked pretty much as i expected... including the 10 hour drive...... (have i told you all i HATE driving??!!! 2 hours is pretty much my limit.. for everyone else's peace of mind i should be tightly bound and gagged before setting forth on a long car trip!!)

And so it went... every year that we went to the 10 hour drive camp. Then last year we went to another camp........ much closer only a couple of hours drive. i was excited.. and scared.. and shy and excited.. first time jitters i guess. That camp blew my mind. And yeah i know i told you all about it this time last year so i won't repeat myself.

The BDSM August camp is coming up again........ next weekend. i find myself with very mixed feelings. i feel out of the loop..... nowhere near the level of pain i was up to last August..... fearing my failing as the camp pain slut.. fearing that every little fantasy that i even let niggle at my subconscious will build me up for some let down so i have been trying very hard not to think about camp.......

i have been wishing there was some sort of camp preparation course that i could go through to get me ready to face a bunch of strangers .. and a level of play that makes my jaw drop and makes me want to hide in the tent........ i have been thinking of "forgetting" all the toys in the rush to pack and hit the road...... think Sir would believe that?? probably not eh?? i have been fussing that IF i do pack the toys i will pack the wrong ones .. or that they won't get used and will sit staring at me .. an unhappy reminder of that damn little fantasy that somehow broke through my subconscious and left its mark on my lil subbie brain...........


"Hello mother .. hello father... here i am at camp Grenada.. " only Camp Grenada was never like this!!!!!!!!!

Sexual Differences?

Yesterday our friend drakor wrote an interesting piece on bondage.. or rather the differences between male bondage and female bondage......

He said .. and i quote......... It is as if women are being held in place to show them off and males shown as strength being held back.

now at first i agreed with him....it made perfect sense.. especially since i had been asked by Sir to research some male bondage pictures and send them off to drakor. i thought i was clever and went to a bunch of gay sites depicting bondage and all manner of S/m. i waded through picture upon picture of males having sex.. cum shots.. and all manner of sexual activities.. but i did indeed find a few good bondage shots which i immediately sent off to drakor. The pictures were of gorgeous male bodies - in top form.

Here is just one example of what i found...........



(ummmmmm for some strange reason i just want to sink my teeth into that ass)


BUT when i read drakor's blog.. and discovered the reasoning behind his request for such pictures.. i realized i had done him a disservice.. i went looking for posed portrait style photos rather than more real life....

If you study the top two pictures you will see on the left an example of a male in bondage and on the right a female.... i personally do not see much of a difference... Today in all the shots that i saw both males and females a like were bound in a way that left them open for sexual contact in all it's many forms. i saw no difference in the manner in which they were displayed or bound. There was no binding of strength versus binding of beauty.

And so i have to say that i disagree with drakor.... i believe given the right female Domme that males can... and are bound ... in a similiar manner to women.. and are most definitely displayed to show off their "wares" so to speak.

(and i have to ask this question......with a small stamp of my foot - 'drakor... are you implying that women are only beauties to behold and have no strength to bind??')


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editor's note: ok for some reason the pictures weren't displaying ... i think i found the problem and fixed it.. would someone let me know if they can SEE the pictures - cause i always could.. sorry about the confusion !!!

emails

From time to time i get some interesting emails. i have been spared the ugly ones that some who blog seem to get.. mind you i also seem to avoid the nasty comments as well (now of course i have probably jinxed myself!!)

But that is not what i set out to write about. A few weeks back i received an email from someone who requested that i write erotic emails to him. To his credit he did admit he would be "masturbating" to them .......it's always refreshing to meet an honest person. He was also pretty clear that i would have to write very explicit emails and he would direct me what to write about.. oh yeah.. and the final request .. that i was to masturbate while i wrote them.

i forwarded the email to Sir and then put the email in the junk folder. There was no way in hell i was gonna even bother answering his missive. On one of our Friday coffee klutches i brought it up with Sir and Cloud. Cloud saw it as a challenge for my writing skills.. Sir suggested IF he was serious that i request payment for this service.

i have to admit when i sat down to answer his email.. the thought of putting in a request for money made me feel a tad bit like a prostitute - BUT then - i was curious to see how he would react.

His reaction was - to be honest - exactly what i expected. He wanted these emails for free.. he was not entirely satisfied with the fact that i don't masturbate to porn........ and he wanted a sample of what he could expect for his money.

Well if he thought he was gonna get a freebie he was sadly mistaken...... i directed him to my Fictional Journey and informed him that his free sample of my writing ability could be found there.

The outcome was.. my writing was not up to his standards. (thank god!! i do like to think i write a little bit above the usual porn) And he has moved on in his quest to find a submissive who will write free porn for him..........

All of this is to say......... i have posted part 4 of the house boy series........ it isn't porn but then i never claimed to write porn !!!