Monday, August 06, 2007

hear me purring??

Sometimes things come together.. the moon and stars are aligned .. the tides are flowing..the creative juices are flowing .. and everything comes together .. fits together like a jig saw puzzle where all the pieces fit perfectly - and not one lil one has gone missing........ AND.. i am left purring like a contented cat.. smiling like the Cheshire cat.

Friday night Sir got this evil look ...... and i do mean EVIL look... on his face. He had read kaya's comment on my gift entry..... about Sir going over and over the "6's" 6 times (did i tell you they are still THERE!!?? a week later) Sir had me fetch the needles and then He proceeded to outline the 6's again.. this time with needles.. He wrote a blog for kaya about it....

Saturday was devoted pretty much to the trains and train layout...... until after dinner .. when Sir took me downstairs for a mighty session.. hanging me from the chains.. and using pretty much all the toys...... i could smell my scent.. i was sure He could smell my musky smell......... and i was so sure He couldn't / wouldn't ignore that specific need of mine....... (a need He says is pretty much daily if not hourly!) My juices were literally running down my legs...... (god i hate when that happens.... yeah yeah i would bitch if they didn't.. but i hate the sticky feeling.. especially IF there is no sex... it all seems like such a waste.. and i firmly believe all this liquid is not an endless spring of happiness.. like many who watch their biological clock for babies.. i watch mine for the sudden dryness that afflicts so many my age........ but i digress) Even when i was kneeling.. head to the floor .. bum in the air.. at Sir's feet.. thanking Him for the session i secretly hoped i would receive a quickie.. a "wham bam thank you ma'am" orgasm.. it wouldn't have mattered how quick.. all that mattered was some release........ but it didn't come.... i didn't cum..

Sunday i had nearly constant battles with my growing need for sex.. some sex.. any sex.. something!!! But i trudged on.. reading in my secret garden.. being cheeky with Sir..and yeah .. occasionally a little quiet - that Sir called moody...... but hells bells folks i had this HUGE itch that just wasn't being scratched and that tends to make me a wee bit cranky and out of sorts with the world.....

At one point after lunch i made up my mind i was gonna ask for permission to masturbate.. if HE wasn't gonna do anything.. i sure as hell wasn't gonna suffer along in silence any longer.......... instead i went back outside to my secret garden and tried very hard to read and ignore the deep ache........ and believe me .. it wasn't just a physical ache.. it was a mental ache as well...

i was sitting out there thinking (which yeah .. Sir says is a bad thing cause it nearly always lands me up in trouble) about how i know i CAN ask for stuff.. and it is almost always granted.. but i HATE asking.. it takes 90% of the damn pleasure away...... know what i mean?? And then this morning i was reading "View from the Floor" and there it was.. my exact feelings about this whole thing in black and white....the thoughts from my lil subbie brain..... thanks to carrie ann.

She wrote:
His will, his desire...for me, for the taste of my flesh, the thrill of my reactions, the rush of power that comes from controlling ME.

Sometimes you get the feeling they're only doing things because they know you need it, because they feel responsible for meeting your needs..

and i sat there saying.. "yeah girl! you get it.. you understand!!" that was the exact reason i had NOT asked for permission to masturbate... no matter how bad the itch....... because i wanted Sir to want IT.. i wanted Sir to fuck me royally without my asking for it........ i wanted it to come from HIM!

Anyway....... i digress yet again..........

Sometime mid afternoon Sir was sitting on the couch playing with His laptop .. half watching the TV .. and i had finally relaxed and though the "itch" was still there it wasn't driving me mad .......... and Sir beckoned for me to come and kneel by His feet. All i could think was.........'NO not another spanking!!" (imagine me NOT wanting a spanking!!) i just didn't think i could handle more pain without some nice little orgasm to round out the experience.

But spanking was not on Sir's agenda.......... no sireeeee.. neither was a quick "wham bang thank you ma'am" orgasm. Instead He started playing.. teasing.. pushing His thumb in just so far.. finding that lil dimple.. and teasing it.. i on the other hand was moaning and whining that "IT" was broken............ (and it felt broken! i had worked so hard to push those feelings to the back .. to hide them.. i didn't think it was gonna jump to attention just cause of one lil thumb tickling and teasing) Not to be distracted by my seeming disinterest in the whole affair.. Sir continued tickling and teasing.. easing the thumb out pushing it back in almost savagely...i felt the first soft stirrings that told me it hadn't died........ and almost instantaneously i felt Sir's other hand spreading me wider.. felt another finger sliding in... and i moaned oh so softly...... it had been so long since He filled me full .. full to the brim.... and it felt so damn good!!! Sir kept at it.. in and out.. spreading me wider.. making me moan and once or twice yelp with pain.. but ohhhhhh so good pain.......... and then i felt it.. the tightening in my lower belly.. the feeling that comes when you have to pee.. and i was barely able to squeak out the required request to cum............. and it was granted and i was arching my back and thrusting down onto His hand feeling it fill me even more .. feeling my juices erupting out of me........... feeling the tidal wave of pleasure sweep me away.

Yup.......... sometimes everything just comes together.. all the pieces fit...... and what a glorious fit they are! and i am left purring like a contented cat.............

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