This morning i was scheduled for some tests at the hospital to try and pinpoint the source of my "mystery" pain.... Now the last time i had this pain was two years ago........ this time was worse - by a mile!! and lasted almost a full month - on and off.. But it has been a full 2 months without any MAJOR pains.... ( i say major cause Sir insists i had some pain a month ago........ but some pain is NOT major pain!!) and maybe it will be another 2 years before i have it again........ so this morning i wondered why i was going through the test........... i tried to ignore the fact both Sir and my doctor insisted....
Anyway.......... 10 am found me stripped naked to the waist in one of those "designer" shirt things that tie in the back.. lying on some hard metal examining table in a darkened room with lots of equipment and wires and stuff...... the tech came in and made a joke about the ultra sound and maybe finding out i was pregnant.. (not a particularily funny joke) .. then he smeared that gel........ that yucky gooey gel they use when taking an ultrasound.... and as he is smearing.. he says .. nonchantly........ "it is going to get warm." Now folks .. i have this thing (we have talked about this before) about KY jelly.. so i must like yucky gooey stuff right?? and i ADORE the new KY warming jelly... so how difficult is this gonna be???
First of all ..no matter how hard i try to experience it as KY jelly......... i can't get past the yucky gooey feeling all over my belly ... then the tech starts using the roller mouse thing on my belly and the warm gooey yucky stuff suddenly gets HOT... and i do mean HOT! First it's lie on your left side.. and the gooey stuff gets to run down my left side.. then it's lie on your back while more gooey yucky stuff is added and then it's lie on your right side so the gooey yucky stuff can run down the right side... i am lying there staring off into space .. taking big breaths and holding it (like a good lil subbie) until the tech finally remembers to tell me to breath... just before i turned blue and passed out i might add! Then the tech is finished.. but tells me to lie still till the Radiologist comes in... and the tech leaves.. and leaves the door open............ Now i have a coolish breeze blowing across my wet belly.. chilling the warm gooey yucky stuff..... how pleasant !!
Finally i am told to dress and i will hear from my doctor in a week or two......... can i have another towel?? grudgingly i am given one .. if they could find a smaller towel i would like to see it........ and i do the best i can to wipe up all the remaining goo and get my pants pulled back up.. my sweater on.. and get the devil outta there and find my first cup of morning coffee.. (have i ever told you i HAVE to have coffee in the mornings before i can function?? )
At one point back at school i am sitting .. sorta contemplating my navel.......... when i discovered .. much to my horror.. that my belly button was FULL of this gooey yucky stuff....
tests and hospitals and mystery pains.............. and gooey stuff stuck in my navel........ Happy Monday!!!