A theory

i have this theory....... probably a little weird.. but it is MY theory.......... and that is that my sex drive is a bit like a pump..... if you prime it and keep it well used it drips and leaks and works just fine...... if you ignore it.. it needs a whole mess of priming to work properly.

Before Sir .. before rules about masturbation etc..... i would use one of my toys (they don't call it a toy box for nothing !!!) regularily .. at least once a day.......... then along came rules and i learned it was humiliating to ask for permission to masturbate...... and so i stopped. From time to time sexual play has taken a back seat to other forms of play....... or a back seat to "life". And now i find that i don't crave sex the same as i did.........

Some days it worries me......... i worry that having reached "an age" when some women dry up and (in my humble opinion) wither away that i will follow in their footsteps...... More than once i have told Sir i worry i will literally and figuratively dry up. He has always been reassuring that that won't happen.... but still the thought haunts me.

Last night in our chat online i was feeling bored and restless.. and Sir was preoccupied a bit ....... as i said to Sir in my private journal..... "i was surfing and sulking"........ when He read my mind.. and told me to go and get my favourite toy and masturbate. There was a restriction though... i was not allowed to cum. Well for nearly 50 minutes i masturbated .. stopping and starting as the urge to cum grew too strong......... i was so sure that just before i was sent for my bath and bed that Sir would tell me i had permission to cum.........
SURPRISE !! SURPRISE !! SURPRISE !! The order came......... bath and bed....... followed by "DO NOT CUM" and so i went to bed with a throbbing clit and a dripping pussy...... and i do believe that was a first! There was something special about slipping into bed feeling aroused and not being able to satisfy that need.

Sir is priming my pump..........showing me that there is still a long way to go before i dry up and wither away........

and for those inquiring minds.......... this is my FAVOURITE toy.......... absolute favourite !!!!