Musing

I would have titled today's entry "thinking" but W always tells me I am not allowed to think - mainly cause when I do I land up thinking all the 'wrong' things...... 

So I am not thinking today - but I am 'musing'.............

I love it here in Kingston - being the weird creature I am - I have never grown attached to a building/home/city.  I can pack up and move without a backward glance.  Most people can't.  Every morning I get up I think how lucky I am to be here in Kingston - the one place I actually chose to live.

W is here (I think) because it was my dream to live here.  But W misses Montreal - misses 'home'.... misses his friends ... misses his train clubs and helicopter clubs .. misses the sameness the comfort of knowing the place he lives in / has lived in all his life.

Here - in Kingston - W has no train club .. no helicopter club - no familiarity of surroundings.  In Kingston he has stupid rules that frustrate him and raise his blood pressure - like the recycling laws - the size of your garbage can law - the laid back small town approach of all the contractors.  He said just the other day that he is used to a big city and misses it........ Kingston is not even close to being a big town.

And I wish I could fix it.

And I can't.

And all the therapy sessions in the world can't find a solution (which in case you haven't figured out I have stopped - therapy that is - cause what's the point of talking about stuff that doesn't have a fix???)

Ever feel like you really right royally screwed up??? that your selfishness caused someone else to be unhappy??  Trust me - it's not a happy place to be..............


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day 24 of 365