Saturday, March 19, 2011
Tenative step forward
Today I am going to take my first step forward back into my old life. Granted it is only a tentative step.... but still it is a step forward.
Our BDSM community is holding a fund raiser this evening. Warren mentioned it earlier this week... it started a longing in my soul. But I was scared - I haven't been planning ahead because I never know if I will have a good day or not. But yesterday was a good day....... it seemed a strong possibility that Warren and I would be able to go .........
Only problem I had was what in god's name was I going to wear. Trust me when I say all my old fet clothes are too big.. I tried on a corset - my favourite - but even tied tight - shut tight - it was still way too big.
I rummaged through my fet drawer and found 2 corsets I have never worn.. bought on speculation that one day I would lose the weight. The day has come. I tried the oriential red one on first........ but no it is still too small.......
Then i laced up the black and gold one...... and oh my lord it fits !!!
Next I pulled out of my cupboard my "swishy" long black skirt...... i pulled it on and zipped it up... let go and it quite literally fell down. sigh Then I had a bright idea... I pulled it back up .... and pulled the corset down over the waist of the skirt...let go .. et voila !!! the corset held it in place!!! I walked around .. I twirled .. I sat and stood.. and it stayed in place.
My outfit was settled - I'll add a black garter belt.. some black lace stockings and black leather boots and I will be ready to take those first tentative steps.
Oh yeah...... and I did look in the mirror and had the same reaction I had at the clothing store.. Who the hell is that??!!!
So tonite Warren and I are off to the fund raiser.. I'll get to meet up with some old friends and hopefully make some new ones. Whatever else happens - is left to the gods... (and my body)