If I could tell my 18 year old self anything - it would be the above. I spent so much of my adult life thinking I owed the man I was living with some 'thing' - cause he was supporting me. I never thought about the services I was supplying him with!! I remember going back to teaching when my girls were young - and asking my husband to help out around the house - even if it just meant popping supper into the oven for me. His answer - 'when you earn as much or more than I do - then I will help around the house'. I felt so small - so insignificant.
It is brought home even more sharply now. I have been asked "what would Sir Steve do if he didn't have you to look after the little one?" and I think in my head - 'and do the laundry and the groceries and prepare the meals and clean the house and all the other little things I do to keep life running smoothly around here.'
I am beginning to realize (yeah it took me years and years!!) that I AM a contributing partner in this relationship -- in all the relationships I have had. I'm just sorry it has taken me so long to see it........
As the kids were growing up we both had full time jobs. I felt we pretty much divided things up. I did child care and fed us. He did all yard work, car repairs and household maintenance. We both cleaned. Now I do 90% of the cleaning and he does everything else, inside and out. Suits me.
ReplyDeleteI do all the earning and domestic tasks :( Living alone seriously cuts your free time
ReplyDeletePrefectdt
You are so right, we each contribute in different ways.I think we often overlook the contribution we make.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz