One of the really weird things about this withdrawal process is my need for kink... my need to feel grounded in something other than the withdrawals....
I can't really explain it -- except to say -- AGAIN -- that when Sir Steve and I indulge in kinky play - and kinky sex - I feel bonded to him.. .closer than close to him. I feel grounded and solid.......
AND I get - totally get -- that life has once again intruded on 'our' time together... between my withdrawals and his work and the lil one - it's hard to get into the mind set of kink. I don't feel like kink -- honestly I don't. But then when I sit and think about how I am feeling and what is wrong and what would fix it I have to admit a little kink would do wonders. It would require me to really go into submissive mode to accept kinky play..... but once I was there ... I know the endorphins would lift me high...... at least for a little bit.
There was one time - a while back - he had been beating my ass and then surprised me by climbing up on the bed -- pushing my legs roughly apart and f**king me hard and long.
And that dear friends is the stuff my daydreams are made of (small smile)
I get it Morningstar, also not feeling like kink but knowing it would ground me.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
There are times when I miss the rock hard erection, urgent penetrative sex ... unfortunately that can't happen here any more ... but where there is a will, there is always a way - we do own some substitutes :>)) ... nj ... xx
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you do not feel like play, MS, but I know how that longing to get back into it. I hope you both get some connection soon.
ReplyDelete--Baker