Tuesday, May 07, 2019

Same Shit - Different Year







A small back story -- 
our campground is 2 down from the lil one's mother's trailer.  For the last 2 summers we (more me than we) have had difficulty with the mother's family.  Each season we hope things will be better -- but pretty much every year we have to wade through the shit and temper tantrums and keep setting limits and boundaries before we can co-exist even a little bit.

On Saturday morning bright and early the lil one showed up at our trailer.  We had a nice visit and she toddled off back to mom's.
Sunday afternoon she walked right past us without even looking at us.  She went to visit my eldest daughter's site.  She told her that mommy had said she was not allowed to visit daddy and S. (here we go again -- DRAMA!)

Yesterday when the lil one got off the bus we had a 'little' talk..... it lasted almost an hour and continued again when daddy got home.  
Apparently mommy got angry and 'yelled' at her for coming over to see us on Saturday.... on Sunday mommy said she couldn't come visit us because..... 'they don't let you visit us in the summer'.  WTF??!!  I asked the lil one (cause I thought did I do that?!)  Did I ever say you couldn't go to mommy's.  She said..... no Mommy was lying.
I was gob smacked.  The lil one saw through her mother and saw it for what it was - an out and out lie.  This lil 6 year old is wise beyond her years.  She said to me ' daddy's trailer is MY trailer too!' 

I took a deep breath - said a little prayer I was gonna say the right thing -- and then plunged ahead.  I explained that I thought mommy was worried that the lil one would love us more -- want to be with us more -- I said mommy doesn't understand that love is unlimited ....... the more love you give the more you have to give.  I explained by saying that it was like I had given my 2 girls a glass of orange juice.  Then the lil one came into my life -- did I take the girls' orange juice and pour some into a glass for her ?? NO... I poured her her own glass of juice .......... I watched to see if she got it.... I could see her working it through..... and she slowly nodded.... she got it - I hoped.

In our talk with daddy the lil one said that mommy yells and gets mad and it scares her.... so daddy said he would talk to mommy -- they'd sit down and work things out the best they could.  The lil one nodded very seriously.  We explained that that was part of our job..... helping her find solutions to problems and sometimes having to step in to help.  She nodded again.

At bedtime the lil one threw her arms around my neck hugging me tightly -- she said to me 'you have the top half of my love - daddy has the next half of my love - I have lots of love to give!' I almost cried........... wise beyond her years !

Life is good when you start to see the results of your hard / determined work.

3 comments:

  1. ughhh! ... not sure if I could manage being in a spot 2 doors down from my man's ex and all her drama ... good for you for taking the high road ... nj ... xx

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  2. Hi Morningstar, I don't think I could manage to be so close either. Argh, how unfortunate, and unfair on the little one. Good on you both for talking through it with her. I love how you dealt with it. I hope Sir Steve does have a word to Mom.

    Hugs
    Roz

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  3. As hard as this is, I personally believe you handled it beautifully!
    --Baker

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