Wednesday, September 19, 2012
I was over on Fetlife yesterday - the site I love to hate........and noticed all my "friends" were "loving" this certain article that some Dom had written. So......... I went to read it (I have always been good at following)
I read it with some interest - this particular Dominant was talking about how he had grown bored with spanking and floggings and whips and chains (oh my!!) how he had grown bored with his submissive...... how he was dissatisfied with his past history..... and I found myself wanting to know a little bit more about him......... so I checked his profile. This Dominant was 34 years old!! And all I could think was BORED at 34??!! what the hell is the matter with him??!!!! (youth is most definitely wasted on the young)
And then I got thinking about all the folks we know who have changed over the years - from dropping out - to changing from sub to Dom - Dom to sub - others have pushed limits and extremes looking for higher heights - looking for some great untried new thrill - or looking for some answer in some obscure (and not so obscure writings) ...... shifting and fidgeting like restless bored children..............
It got me thinking about our BDSM or lack of recently. And I am having no angst about the lack of it ........ life is just too damn busy to be bored.......... So what if BDSM isn't in the forefront of our life right now???? Does that mean it's gone?? Does it mean we are so bored with it we don't need it or want it anymore???
I don't think so.
What I think is......... (something that has taken me a little while to figure out) that BDSM cannot be 100% of one's life. It must share the spotlight with everything else that fills one's life - from ill health - to family obligations - to work - there has to be lulls and shifts in the tides of one life............ and one has to learn to adjust and adapt to these shifts and lulls
I think when we are new to BDSM - or young - we tend to go at everything with an energy that is almost hyper kinetic - refusing to stop - or think - or analyze - just pushing forward - looking for some unattainable nirvana that we think is missing from our lives. We strive to create some fantasy world. And when it all crumbles down around our ears - we gnash our teeth and moan and whine about being bored - or that something isn't good enough - or enough (period) to fill the gaping holes in our lives.
Perhaps we should look within...... like ourselves just as we are - and revel in the good fortune of getting up each morning to face another day - and all the challenges it offers. (yeah yeah I am taking notes )
And if giving pain - or receiving pain - or serving is really your thing - it will balance itself out in your life. It will weave itself around your work - your family - your other obligations to form an amazing tapestry of who and what you are. You don't have to try very hard - just let it happen. And trust me you will be amazed at how it all fits.. and how good it makes you feel.
Life is just too short and too full of amazing things - to be bored.
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