Early morning darkness

the house is early morning dark - the only light on is the one on the stairs - cause I have been down to get my first cup of coffee of the day.  It's quiet - except for the voices from the radio which wakes me every morning.

I have been sitting here listening to the voices in the darkness - and they don't have anything much good to say.  Makes me wonder why they talk - or why I listen.  Do I really need to know how bad the world is outside my four walls.  Gas has jumped 20 cents overnight to $1.50something  - the American ambassador and 3 other Americans to Libya have been killed - a plane has crashed in Russia - it goes on and on.... I turn my listening skills off.

My day stretches in front of me - and I wonder if my lil kindergarten guy can come to school today without crying and vomiting all over me ....... I wonder if my lil sisters who lost their mom will be more settled today - I wonder if the paper work that seems to grow overnight on my desk will begin to shrink - I wonder if I will find time to shop for sheets - I wonder if my lil home will ever be sold -  I wonder if this month will ever end.

And now the sky is lightening - the sun will soon be shining in my windows and my day will start - for real. The dark thoughts that match the darkness of the early morning are receding and I down the last  mouthful of coffee - stretch my stiff old body - and get ready to face yet another day in the maddening world.