Friday, March 04, 2016

Waiting



Before I even start this entry - I want to make one thing perfectly clear - what I have in my life now - WHO I have in my life now - is wonderful and fulfilling and exciting.  And there isn't much I would change.

I seem to be falling into this "poly thing" easier than I ever imagined.

BUT 

(awww come on - you knew there was gonna be a 'but' right??)

The waiting is tough.

When I say goodbye to one of my partners - I don't know when I will see them again.  OH I know - there are all kinds of things that get in the way - and winter storms are a biggy right now.
 
But I am the type of person who thrives on schedules and regular routines.  Life would be simple if I knew that at least once a week I would see each of them........ then I would have something to dream about - to think about - to hold in my heart.

And the interesting thing for me is - I don't much care what they do when they aren't with me (not much - sometimes but not much) BUT knowing when they will be back - even a ballpark estimation - "see you next week" would be my preference.  

It's hard to say goodbye - and not know - no clue - when they will be back.  Once I even sent Daddy Dom a message saying "Am I ever going to see you again?" and I don't know why - a moment of insecurity perhaps.  AND I had just seen him the day before.  

So yeah - if there's anything I find particularly difficult about poly -- it's the waiting......






 

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