Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Closing ranks....

Some of you have noticed that The Journey has been down for a few hours.. ok more than a few hours.

Yesterday for some reason - i decided to check the "visitors" log....... and i noticed that early in the morning someone from THE island had visited my blog. A small warning bell went off.. just a small one.

By last evening - when i checked the stats again - i noticed that i had had 3 visits from the same island........ and the small warning bell went to a loud clanging......and i had the neurotic desire to RUN.

i closed down The Journey for fear of my privacy being invaded.. for fear of my job being in jeopardy.. just out of plain old fashioned FEAR.

When i started this blog back in 2005 i kept things pretty generic...... worried a bit about who would stumble across it..........

As time went on.. i became bolder.. and posted more pictures and talked more openly about my life........... going from the generic to the personal..........

Now i have removed all the entries (at least i hope i have) that pointed a very direct finger at me....... the me the vanilla world sees............. and i have reopened The Journey.

BUT for now .. maybe for a long time....... this blog will go back to being generic...

The only thing i can hope..... is that whomever it is from THE island ....... who stopped by yesterday ....... will email me privately........ so that i can establish what their intentions are......... until that happens..... i am closing ranks.........





And it makes me sad ....... to think that my lifestyle.......my PRIVATE lifestyle might have a bearing on how the vanilla world sees me... rates me.. and judges me....

Sometimes life just sucks.



5 comments:

Scarlet said...

My dearest morningstar ....
I am aching for you.
How nice it would be if we could all just be who we are without prejudice.

I am keeping you close in my thoughts today as I can only imagine how deep closing ranks cuts you.

swan said...

I am so sorry. This is the risk that we all take everyday just to be who we most deeply are.

I am keeping you in my heart this day, and hoping that your concerns and worries can be resolved so that the sense of risk is reduced.

All the very best,
swan

SPANKEDHORTIC said...

There is going to be a long road to travel before we can be openly, what we are, without fear of persecution and until then a certain level of anonymity is necessary, your caution is wise.

On an upside I have, several times, looked up my own location on statcounter.com and "who's amongst us" and both have shown me in several different locations and never less than an hours drive from where I actually live. I'm no expert with computers but I think that the location thingy shows the location of the server that you are being routed through and not your specific location. If this works the same in Canada, the person concerned may not be as close as you think.

Prefectdt

Anonymous said...

have you thought about locking SOME of your entries on my journal you have to be a member to view ALL the entries, this allows me to post generic fluff and in private post all the rest. It does work for us. Now obviously we are way more open then you (we own www.bdsmgear.com and www.fire-runner.com ) but in the same breath I don't want my kids or family stumbling on my scene reports ect. If blogger allows that it might give you the freedom to post what you want some of the time, but allow the rest of the world to see your thoughts the remainder.(if that made sense) You can go the the fire runner site and click on the Yes Master Journal to see how I set it up so that not everyone gets to see..everything.
just a thought
be well
starla

p said...

i was sad to see your journal closed yesterday and had to smile when i was able to get back in today. i understand your need for some sort of way to know whose delving into your private life. i have my entire site password protected and the only one at this point who has it is ~points up to the previous comments author~ .
Good luck on getting yours set to a manner where you can protect your privacy without compromising the catharsis a transparent journal often brings.