Doing what feels right.......

My eldest said something to me after my birthday about finding a job - part time - work from home sort of job.  It has been rolling around in the back of my head.  And then one day I just sent out a slew of my CV's and promptly forgot about it.

Last week I received a job offer -- well an offer to interview for a job.  It was for child supervision before school and after school...... split shift thing -- work 7 to 9 in the morning and 3 to 5:30 in the evening.

I thought at the time how perfect -- I can still go to the gym, schedule appointments...... and best of all make some money.

Yesterday was the job interview.  

It went well.  After 23 years of working with kids and academic BS I had 99% of the answers at the tips of my fingers........knew all the politically correct answers.  And let's not forget my enthusiasm for children and cheeky disposition.

By the end of the interview I knew it had gone well -- they seemed impressed and all but offered me the job -- though they do have one more interview on Wednesday.

Sounds good right?

Except

While I was sitting there answering their questions and wowing them with my creative ideas, my educational philosophy, I kept thinking about being tied to a working schedule again.  And I knew that it wasn't what I really wanted.  I spent 23 years being at school by 7 am often not leaving before 5........ pulling activities out of the air -- solving disagreements and handling bullies and parents -- filling in all the daily paper work ....  and the meetings........... ohhhhhh the dreaded hated meetings!!

It's just not me anymore --- ya know.

So when they asked me if I had any questions I hesitated for a bit knowing that what I was thinking -- what I was planning on saying -- was probably gonna blow the job offer.

But I asked my one question anyway...... 
Did they ever use or need substitutes?

The look on the Admin's face was priceless.  Her jaw dropped.  She said that yes they always needed subs -- they had 8 educators off just today -- BUT she insisted the pay wasn't the same at all -- it was $2 less an hour.....

I nodded and said that yes I understood that....... and I really appreciated them considering me for the job -- BUT -- if I didn't get it -- would they consider me for sub work.  She said emphatically YES -- but went back to extolling the virtues of the permanent job.  

I nodded -- and smiled -- and repeated that I would of course accept any job they offered.............. and just let it hang there........ She said if you had a choice subbing or full time what would your FIRST pick be.  Without hesitation I said "subbing".

So I probably blew the chance of a full time job........ and I think a few people think I am nuts.  What I want -- really want -- is to be able to play with kids -- have fun with none of the responsibility ........ and make a few dollars at the same time.  

Now I must order up yet another police check and get booster vaccinations.  And perhaps even send out my CVS to more places offering up my services as a substitute.