Sadistic Saturday night

and as promised ....... our Saturday evening play party .......

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For several months now Sir and i have been hearing of a south shore BDSM group that holds munches/play parties. It has been something that has been nagging at Sir.. He IS a south shore resident.. has been for 50+ years.. He hadn't heard of any BDSM group in his local town.. and yet there were rumours (at best) of one active group.

On Saturday morning Sir announced to me that He was waiting for an invite to a party on Saturday evening. i looked at Him in total surprise. Usually i am given lots of warning of upcoming play parties.. usually i have read about them on the mailing lists. BUT this time i hadn't even heard a whisper of a private play party.

Turns out it was this south shore group........ and..... as fate would have it....... Sir received an invitation.

i have to say i was a wee bit nervous..... what if i didn't know anyone there?? what if what if what if plagued my mind. Fortunately i hadn't had to stew about this all week....... and Sir had kept me pretty occupied for most of the day.


By 9 p.m. we were sitting outside an old auto body shop (coincidentally this body shop was virtually around the corner from Sir's house and is where he used to take his car). Some folks had purchased it and converted it into a private club..... Now that may sound like an odd place to open a club.... but think about it........ First of all there are no vanilla neighbours to worry about..... the area is large with relatively high ceilings.... and there is lots of parking !!!

We parked and went in........ i am sure Sir could hear my heart pounding. The first couple of minutes were a bit awkward. We didn't know anyone, and most of the folks were french speaking. Now.. don't get me wrong.... i can speak french....... and definitely understand it better than i speak it....... but somehow i felt a little bit like an intruder.....(it happens here in this part of the Great White North...... that there is a dividing line in the BDSM community by linguistics. And the differences go deeper than just language). But very quickly a submissive came over and introduced herself.. and we all apologized for not being fluent in the other's language.. and the ice was broken.

i was sneaking peaks around me.. eyeing the equipment up and down...... and they did have a load of equipment. There were at least 3 different suspension stations... a medical room.... 3 different cages... and the usual spanking benches and St. Andrew's crosses.



BUT in the middle of the room stood a giant of a tree stump......... with two smaller stumps on either side that had been transformed into kneeling posts. The large one though was the one that caught my eye. Eventually Sir walked us over to the grouping of tree stumps. i couldn't keep my hands off the larger one.. stroking it .. caressing it.. feeling each bump and groove in the bark. i looked at Sir longingly and asked Him if He knew which piece of equipment i hoped He would use.......... (now that was a DUH question if ever there was one!!)

As folks started to arrive we were surprised to see a large number of folks we used to meet at other clubs. We thought they had disappeared into some void... as they (apparently) thought we had as well. It was fun catching up a bit with these long lost BDSM buddies.

We were waiting - politely - for the party to get rolling. But folks seemed to be content to stand around chatting. One submissive was put on a spanking bench and a dominant was half heartedly spanking his ass. Sir decided that that was the start of the evening.. and told me to set up the toys by the tree stump. By this time the tree stump was calling to me.. talking to me. When Sir had my cuffs on and up on the little stand that the stump was fixed to, my arms could not go around the entire tree - that is how big it was !!! There was quite enough room for two submissives to be strung up at the same time.

i leaned into the tree and could hear it whispering to me... i felt the strength of the tree pressing against my naked breasts. (ok ok.. that was 'poetic' ......... the truth of the matter is i could feel the bark biting into my breasts!)

Sir started ......... and wow........ what an experience it was. He would hit with one toy or another and my body would press into the bark .. or bash into the bark - depending on the strength of the hit - and the bark would slam the front of me......... (in fact i have a bruise on a knee as proof of how unrelenting the tree stump was)

People gathered round to watch Sir put me through my paces.. the flogger,, the gorean whip.. the crop.. the circus whip .. the tawse.. (rinse repeat as many times as necessary)..
i drifted away and floated back.. the voices of the people around me mixed into the music and became white noise...... the twinkling candles and fairy lights pulled my mind away from everything but Sir .. the pain.. and the tree........ i danced with the tree....... i smiled at the fairies dancing in the crevices of the bark.......

It was an amazing totally captivating sadistic Saturday night.............

DD

When i first started on chat programs online i had to learn a whole new way of writing ........ acronyms were all the rage...... LOL... BRB ...LMAO... TTFN .. it all looked like greek to me. But over time i have come to use them as quickly as everyone else and the hair on the back of my neck doesn't bristle quite as much at the bastardization of the English language.

Well i have a brand spanking new one to add to the list........... "DD"........ i used it this afternoon for the first time.. and will continue to use it until such time as i think that Sir might actually catch me......... "DD" stands for "Dopey Dom".......

i am trying to see (find) some humour in the last 48 hours..... It hasn't been an easy go for Sir.... from muscle spasms in His back to excruciating pain in His shoulder.... it has been a long journey from the hospital recovery room to the 48 hour magic mark. Each time that i have called Him from work to check up on Him....... (yeah yeah i HAD to work - one day off was all i was able to get) He sounded like a drunk..... when i get home and look at Him weaving His way down the hallway towards me - eyes droopy - looking for all the world like a drunken sailor (No offense meant to any sailors out there!!) i have HAD to find something funny about it........ It is so NOT easy to see the man who is always in control be so out of it.........

But tonite we hit the magic 48 hour mark.......... and Sir is hoping (as am i) that He can begin to reduce the pain medication slowly.

So for now i am calling Him DD... for now...... soon as He can catch me.. it will be "yes Sir.. no Sir.. thank you very much Sir !!"

Pass the Band-aids

It's over and Sir is now home recuperating.........

Sir has 4 nice band-aids on his tummy........

And his tummy is this nice shade of putrid pink!!!

He is propped up on the sofa sipping glucerina (meal replacement for diabetics) and trying to stop the cats from pouncing on his belly to welcome him home.....

i am just glad it is over.........

Till later

By the time most of you read this......... Sir and i will be at the hospital.

i have no idea when we will be home.......... i only know for the next couple of days my entire focus is going to be on Sir and getting Him strong and back on his feet.

i promise to be back as soon as i can with a report on Saturday evening's festivities.. but till then .. keep a good thought for Sir..........

cause i get to play "nurse"

Sadistic Saturday

Friday we learned that house boy was not yet over this mystery bug that is zapping his energy and his strength. We suggested that he take the weekend to recuperate.

So Saturday found me naked except for a little t-shirt.. mop and duster and cleaning stuff in hand, cleaning the main level of the condo. Honestly i wasn't sulking about doing it. My energy levels seem to have returned to near normal levels - so i was all set to clean.

Sir decided to add a sadistic twist to the cleaning...... add some interest to the cleaning?? spur me on to greater heights?? Every time i bent over and Sir caught me.. i was either fucked or paddled.

It started off in the kitchen when i bent over to get the cleaning stuff from under the kitchen sink.... before i knew it Sir had me bent over the kitchen counter..... legs kicked part..fucking me. As i am a rather focused person (for the most part!) and my mind was on the cleaning... i was sure i would not react to the fucking.. i was dry-ish and it kinda hurt..... but Sir doesn't pay attention to things like my being dry or uninterested.. He knows that He can always bring me round......... so yes the next thing i knew i was begging for permission to cum and gushing cum down my legs and onto the kitchen floor..... (one way to make sure the floor gets washed!!)

The next time i was in the living room.. being a wee bit of a brat over cleaning the TV cabinet.. making sure i was taking my time standing in front of the TV screen cleaning the top of the cabinet........ one thing for sure.. i had Sir's attention... the minute i moved to the desk and bent to remove things from the shelves.. Sir had grabbed the t-shirt hoisted it up and was fucking me yet again.............

The stupidest move i made.. and seriously - god only knows where my head was.. i knelt up on the ottoman to dust the window ledge and the vent just behind the ottoman.. to do this i had dropped the paddle on the floor.......... i can imagine what a view Sir had.. there i was perched on the ottoman... ass in the air... paddle within arms reach.



It didn't take long for Sir to have the paddle in hand and with my face pressed up against the window while my ass was being paddled hard!!!

Now we have this little rule in this house....... that i am not allowed to enter a room without permission from Sir.......... most of the time it is not that difficult to follow.. BUT i was cleaning the house.. i was flitting in and out of rooms all the time.. focused on NOT bending over and focused on what job came next.... and so....... more than once Sir caught me not asking for permission........ Now for that infraction it is always the same punishment...... the IKEA shoe horn is used as a punishment stick..



can i say "STINGY"???

so now i am trying to clean the house without bending over more than absolutely necessary and trying to time those bending motions to when Sir is distracted or not in the room......... i was also trying to remember to be a 'good lil subbie' and remember to ask for permission to enter a room - in order to avoid "mr snake" as we call the punishment stick.........

when it just all fell apart and i did the unthinkable !!!

yup....... i stuck my tongue out at Sir !!!!!!!!!!!

That has always been an offense punishable by the most despicable means.....unusually cruel and spiteful means............


TABASCO sauce....... on my tongue.......... burning my tongue .. my palate and cleaning out my sinuses.........and worse than that...... yesterday while it was on my tongue..... for some stupid.. unfathomable reason.. i licked my lips........... (gag gag)

But the main level of the condo got cleaned.... even if it felt a little bit like running a sadistic gauntlet........
(and before anyone thinks i am complaining.......... i have NEVER had as much fun cleaning as i did yesterday)

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The day wasn't over.. Sir had plans - BIG plans - for Saturday night..... but i am gonna save those for another time later next week............. i have laundry to do and i am wondering if Sir has come up with an interesting sadistic twist to laundry day.............

Empathy

Empathy is - according to the dictionary - the ability to share and understand feelings of others..........

Can one run out of empathy?? maybe i have.... run out that is........ or maybe it is just that i need to put the emotions where they will do the most good??

i have faced since September 1st..... a child whose mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer - another who's dad has been on dialysis for 5 years or more and time is running out - two children who got left at day camp this summer because mom never came to pick them up... and their dad had to be called .. when they got home mom had packed her bags and just disappeared.. two more children who's father packed his bags this past Wednesday and walked out while mommy cried and they watched.. i have another family who lost a beloved aunt and mother to suicide in August.. i have a five year old suffering from neurofibromatosis - better known as the Elephant Man disease.. he has over 200 growths over his body and one pressing on his optic nerve..... i have another child who is wearing braces on her legs and suffering from major muscle degeneration.........and it goes on and on and on........

Can i run out of empathy?? have i run out of empathy??

It was inferred in an email this week that i have lost empathy ...... or that is the way i interpreted it....

i have to find a way to deal with the crisis of folks around me... IF it means sorting out which ones i can fix/help with... and leaving the rest to others who can help....then that is how it must be......... i am only human....... if i don't jump for joy over some online episode maybe i just don't have any jumps of joy left in me....... maybe i expect you to do the jumping just this once....... and next time i will do it for you.....

and just in case YOU are reading this........ did you ever think maybe my life just overwhelms me sometimes?? maybe i can't always be on my game.. "miss perfect" .. maybe sometimes i am just human........nothing less nothing more...........

HELP

On Monday morning .. bright and early.. before the sun is up .. i am taking Sir into the hospital for day surgery. i have all the instructions on what He is to do and not do before the surgery and after........

My problem is this...... (if i was allowed to.. i would beg )... Sir has to be on a bland diet following the surgery. i have been searching and googling for ideas for a bland diet. i am getting nowhere. i need suggestions people on what to feed Sir .. taking into consideration He is also a diabetic - so fresh fruit (which i found in one of my searches) is out of the question.

i am going to cook up some hard boiled eggs and make a bland egg salad ....... i have the ingredients to make chicken soup....... but good lord what else can i feed Him???

HELP........ please..........

Frost on the Pumpkin

It is starting to feel like fall is here.. with winter just around the corner...... ohhhhhh we will most probably have a few days of Indian summer........ but the night temps have been dropping down well below 10 degrees...... (which is pretty close to 50 degrees F) and that to me is just a tad cold!!!

Fall has never been a season i enjoy.. i know many do.. with the trees all turning fall colours and crispness in the air.. the dead leaves crackling under foot....... and therein lies my dislike.. dead leaves.. dead plants.. bleak dark colours.. the sun disappearing earlier every night and sleeping in every morning........

So yesterday while the house boy cleaned the upstairs, i pulled out the annuals.. cut back some of the summer growth...... potted up the geraniums and just did the fall work in the garden...........i tried to find some joy in the size of the Chrysanthemum plant covered in buds and blooms........ but it just isn't the same feeling as when my daisies peak out from the winter soil........... no matter how beautiful the mums are ...........



The geraniums have been moved upstairs to the office window........






And the garden angels are lined up ready to move to their winter home (where that is.. i still haven't decided....... perhaps they will decide and just migrate for the winter)



And the last job of the weekend....... Sir set all the automatic timers back so the lights come on earlier ......... and now we start to bed down for the winter months......... and dream of spring to come................

Lantern Festival

Saturday evening Sir and i went to see the Chinese Lantern Festival. There are simply no words to describe the beauty of the lanterns .. i hope you enjoy the show.........

Did you catch the "paddled ass" in amongst the pictures?? Sir managed to sneak in a paddling before we left for dinner and the festival............. what more could a subbie ask for??

Newbies and such

i have been working far too hard this week...... and totally losing touch with everything sane.... (ok ok some may not call this lifestyle sane...... but in my mad mad world this is as sane as it gets!!) It was so crazy at work today that mid morning i called Sir (probably scared the hell out Him too as i NEVER call from work) .. He wanted to know what was wrong...... i said "nothing....... i just really needed to hear a voice from the great wide world outside the four walls here"........ made perfect sense to me.. but probably not a whole lot of sense to Sir.

At lunch time, i took myself out to my car for a smoke and a quiet session with some classical music........ i put the back of the seat down .. closed my eyes and just enjoyed the music filling the car. A noise made me open my eyes and i saw a grey car go whipping round the corner past my parked car. A few seconds later i opened my eyes to see - in the rear view mirror - Sir's car parked behind me and Sir walking towards me. i couldn't help but smile........ i was fine.. and yet here He was making bloody sure i was fine. He took me out to lunch and restored some sanity to my fried brain.

Then tonight when i got home i decided that i was going to have a nice long rest cuddled under my blanket..... and then i was gonna catch up on some reading of blogs...... find some more sanity.

And it was with some interest i read an excellent post on dealing with newbies.... from A View from the Floor........ It started with this quote....
"To say nothing of the times when the Dominant/Top enjoys pushing limits, at the expense of their submissive/slave/bottom who simply endured the experience."
if you wish to read the entire blog entry click HERE...

It made me remember a time when i was very actively involved in the BDSM community here in the Great White North....... and how i have drifted away. i said in my comment on the View... 'so now i sit on the side lines and mostly listen .. and nod like some old granny.. and let them all talk themselves out and find their own way..... '

it isn't a bad place on the side lines you know.... i realized a while back .. i really don't want the responsibility of "preaching" or "teaching" what is right or wrong in this lifestyle..... mostly now i would just talk about acceptance .. and tolerance. And that is boring when you are caught up in the frenzy of finding something new and exciting.....

i look at where Sir and i are now....... and think i have nothing... absolutely nothing... to offer to a newbie.....What Sir and i do .. the level we play at...... is so far removed from where a newbie should be starting....... as carrie ann said on the View....... newbies have to find out their limits before they can be pushed.........

And what all that has to do with Sir coming out and restoring some sanity to my fried brain i haven't a clue.......... it's just one of those "follow the bouncing subbie ball " nights.........

Enough already

Warning:
i am going to do an ohhhhhh so not nice blog.......... if you are thin skinned.. or squeamish come back tomorrow......OR .. skip to the good part at the bottom..


Some days i wonder why i write this blog......... i wonder if the words i am spewing forth into the great void they call the "internet" makes an impression on anyone.......... anyone twitch?? cringe?? think??? or am i just writing words upon words that go virtually unnoticed??

yeah i know that sounds bitchy........ but honestly folks i have written a couple of blogs recently actually asking (politely even) for comments or advise or a blip on the radar screen and i have received nothing..... it can be just a tad frustrating........ sort of like at work where i ask questions and get no answers........

Maybe that is my problem.. i ask way too many questions everywhere and get frustrated by the total lack of answers.. (not just here but in my private life as well - good god do i have a private life??!!! with what i write here i don't really do i?? )

i wonder if i am boring everyone to death........... putting everyone to sleep..... cause i figure if i was annoying the hell out of you someone surely would tell me so.... if i was way off base surely someone would tell me so... BUT i go on writing into what seems to be a void..... and that is damn difficult.

Every once in a while it would be nice to get some feedback...... good bad or otherwise....
hells bells .. i have over a 100 visitors a day ..... no one has anything to say????????

ok rant over.. now on to something a little bit more appropriate for an adult only blog..........



Last evening i was chatting with Sir .. as is our habit .. when i announced.. just like that.. out of the blue.. that i was horny. Sir's answer was predictable "and THAT is new?? " No it wasn't really new........ but considering how pooped i was.. for me it was amazing. Sir told me as i was getting ready to log off that i had permission to bring out the new vibrator..... For those of you who missed the blog entry on this amazing new toy........ check out the new vibrator for details.........Now remember the reason i selected this model was because it was rechargeable and did not.. i repeat .. did NOT have wires attached.

So after a nice long hot bubble bath that relaxed the day's stresses, i crawled into bed with the new vibrator and fitted the attachment over the head. i lay back.. closed my eyes.. took a couple of deep breaths .. and inserted the attachment. i turned it on low and just lay there enjoying the deep slow vibrations.

When i felt the muscles in my back and shoulders relaxing i decided it was time to turn that sucker up a notch. ohhhhhhhhh my god....... it felt so good.. i still cannot get over how the vibrations rattle my teeth for god's sakes !!! i lay there totally absorbed in the feelings. Then because i just didn't want it to end .. i turned the vibrator back to low and continued to enjoy the low vibrations. Then i turned it back up.. then as my orgasm came close i turned it back down. i wanted it to go on forever.......... (the problem with masturbating - at least for me - is - when i have the one massive earth shattering orgasm i am finished.. absolutely no interest in anymore .. now if Sir were here, that would be considered the beginning ...... not the end...... so i wanted it to last as long as possible.)

i had been doing the slow fast combination for a few minutes when i turned the sucker up and it barely registered. i turned it down... thinking maybe i had jammed the switch.. and it virtually stopped. All i could think was " NOT BLOODY NOW!" but the worst had happened.. the rechargeable battery picked that exact moment to need to be recharged!!!

i pulled the vibrator out .. thrust it across the bed and lay there panting like a dog in heat. Then i thought....... i will plug the sucker into the charger...... and see if i can get enough juice to finish the job. So i climbed out of bed .. found the charger.. found an outlet close enough to the bed.. plugged the charger into the outlet and into the vibrator and climbed back under the covers. Now i had wires running up my body .. over my head .. into the electrical socket behind the bed. i ask you......... how sexy is that?? As i inserted the attachment all i could think was .. "please don't let me electrocute myself" and then thought " what the hell !!! it will be an amazing way to go!"

Fortunately for me....... the vibrator can and does work quite nicely with a dead battery when plugged into an electrical socket......... i cranked the sucker up and had my earth shattering mind blowing orgasm. Turned off the vibrator .. stuck it on the night table to recharge over night .. and slept in the wet spot...........

life update

It has been a really tough couple of weeks....... i had begun to wonder if i was losing my mind.. ok ok.. losing what little mind i had left........ i have been up... down.. sideways and turned about........

On Thursday i had my annual check up with the doctor... i told her my tale of woe... including filling up with tears a couple of times.... The problem........ histamines. As simple as that.. histamines. And i can't take anti-histamines so my body is busy fighting these lil invaders who are busy attacking my sanity. Actually what she said was "that histamines can cause major system depression". Now i know i am not actually losing my mind it is a little easier to take........ please notice i said a little easier........ i am currently praying for an early frost to kill all those nasty pollen histamines...............


Today Sir brought up the two toys for the weekend......

Helmut's toy from hell...........


And


the Teflon paddle which is absolutely the most evil paddle in the arsenal....... as it is unforgiving........ and smart....... as it warms up it bends and molds to my ass!!!



However .. Sir wasn't getting anywhere with me.. The first attempt left me clinging to the foot stool .. absolutely white knuckled........ Sir sent me back to my chair.... and i fidgeted and wiggled and fidgeted some more.. my skin was crawling.. i wasn't sure if i was gonna cry or tear Sir's head off..........

Sir tried again......... almost as bad a reaction........ i just couldn't get into it........ i kept thinking i was gonna scream...... i was gonna stamp my foot.. this just wasn't fair.. i may not be losing my mind but god it sure feels like it !!!

Then Sir went and got the new toy He bought yesterday at the dollar store....... and had me over the foot stool......... i have absolutely no bloody idea why this time it worked.... but work it did..........Sir walloped and took photos and walloped some more....... by the time He was sufficiently finished...... i was grinning like a Cheshire cat........

For Sir's side of the story and pictures check out Sir’s blog

pain levels..

SeaRabbit asked in the comment section of "the weekend" :
Did it ever happen to you to be much more sensitive than usual? I really wonder has I'm really experiencing a difference in my pain tolerance... I wonder if menopause could play a role in that... What do you think?

and i was going to just answer her in the comment section.. but thought it might make a good blog entry......... AND .. everyone else can add their 2 cents worth as well.. (come on now.. it won't hurt to take 2 minutes and add your thoughts on pain and how it affects us.. try it .. you might just enjoy commenting)



i know that there are times that i can take as much as Sir is handing out and then beg for more....... BUT .. there are more times that i am this whimpering whining crying mess of subbie begging for it all to stop...... white knuckling my way through a session.. cursing the Man holding the flogger.. questioning why i EVER thought i actually liked this sort of thing.

and of course being me.. i have analyzed the whys and wherefores to death.

*i have thought it was because we hadn't played in a while and my ass was tender - BUT - what about in the beginning when we didn't play much at all and i was always up for anything Sir would throw my way??

*i thought that it might be when we play publically the exhibitionist in me comes out and i want to prove how much i can take.. make Sir proud.... BUT - there are lots of times that i am crying quietly on some cross in some club.. barely able to get past the distractions around me..........

* i had come to believe that before we only had nice easy toys and now we have much more wicked ones - BUT Sir can use the old toys from before and i can still land up cringing and wimping out.....

* i have come to the conclusion there is a whole mess of influences that make or break a session.. that help or hinder my ability to process the pain and fly on top of it........

the number ONE reason is my mind set....... if i am tired or stressed ..... it is much more difficult to deal with the pain........ there are too many external influences ruling the moment... i always used to.. kind of .. sort of.. mediate prior to a session.. relax my body get rid of all the bad stresses....... i got so good at it.. that in the time it took Sir to chain me up to whatever equipment He planned to use... i would already be half way there to my quiet space........

the number TWO reason is my own body..... if it is aching from age old complaints.....and even though they tell me i have no more hormones in my body...... i still become cranky and irritable around the days that i normally had periods....... those days can make a session much more difficult to deal with.... the pain seems to radiate through the entire body.. the pain being a white fire that i want to run from .. to hide from.. and even though i have no hormones.. i still believe my body or my mind reacts in the self same way....

There is also the time of day ......... if Sir takes me downstairs to play in the middle of the day...... i am more energised and feisty and often those sessions are fun ones.. where i am cheeky and willful and we laugh and i dance the BDSM jig for Him rather than just trying my damnedest to deal with it all..

Things that help me get past the BAD pain.. despite the time of day.. or my mind set.. is when Sir spends a goodly amount of time connecting to my body with touches.. it helps me relax and feel there is something out there more than just a flogger or cane causing pain......... See when Sir touches me.. rubs against me.. or caresses me.. i feel Him and know i am not alone.. that we are doing this together.. for the pleasure of both..........

Another thing that really helps me get over the top .. and this is just me..... is if Sir pushes my legs far apart and fucks me from behind.. giving me orgasms upon orgasms in between the floggings....... my mind starts to associate the pain with sexual pleasure... or the orgasms release the much needed endorphins to get me over the top...... (pain is very much like foreplay for me... i am dripping before the second hit of with the toy of choice....... the orgasms just help me move along the chain of events much quicker)

i don't have any final - carved in stone - answer as to why sometimes it is easier to accept the pain.. to embrace the pain.......... but those are my thoughts on the subject............

What say YOU???

the weekend..

It would seem Sir has gotten into a pattern of selecting one or two toys that will be my nemesis for the weekend............ This weekend He selected the crop and the cane...........

It started on Friday night........ it didn't matter i was pooped .. too pooped to pop as the expression goes.. there they were .. and i was over the foot stool ass in the air receiving swats from first one then the other......... i pointed out (quite nicely and politely too i might add) that i much preferred the crop to the cane....... Sir decided he preferred the cane....... i pointed out to him (quite nicely and politely too ) that He had reached the prescribed 25 swats with the cane .. and so it was finished now....... Sir said He hadn't learned to count...... Sir said i wasn't taking British hits so the count didn't count.... i took as many swats as Sir decided..

The crop and the cane sat on the foot stool all day on Saturday...... just lying there in the sun like a contented cat.. when i sat in the living room they were directly in front of me.. taunting me....... my male cat got all worked up because they had taken HIS spot in the sunshine.. he stalked around with his tail up in the air .. rather pissed off with the whole situation.

Saturday night Sir told me to move the foot stool back into the middle of the floor and get my ass over it.......... and we started all over.. first the crop then the cane.. repeat till subbie is wiggling and whimpering and yes yes i admit it !! whining..........

Sunday was weird...... i had the session with drakor the house boy....... and after driving him home.. all i could think was........ i want the damn cane.. i want the damn crop.. i want some pain !!! Right after dinner (which is not the usual routine.. usually Sir lets me digest my dinner before playing) Sir pointed out to me that there was an ad on the TV.. i thought okkkkkk .. one of the "watch the show.. ass in the air during the ads" kind of sessions... so i flung myself over the foot stool .. and Sir picked up the crop (have i told you how much i love the crop??!! Sir can make me cum just from the crop...... He didn't on Sunday night.. but i just thought i would say i can) When the TV show came back on .. i bounced up assuming (don't EVER assume) that i could watch until the next ad.. BEEP wrong answer.. the cropping continued. At one point Sir asked me "am I having fun yet?" i remember thinking "how the hell am i supposed to know??!!" but i was good and just said "Yes Sir"..

i know the session lasted a full 45 minutes because at 8:45 exactly Sir told me i could sit up........ i didn't really want to sit up..... i was in that nice place.. that warm fuzzy place.. where i am SUPER SUBBIE and i can take anything........ but i was a good subbie and crawled over to Sir's feet and thanked him for the session.............

The crop and the cane are still sitting on the foot stool in front of the living room window.. the male cat has taken to lecturing me .. i am guessing he wants them moved so he can reclaim HIS spot......... but for now .. they deserve to lie in the sunbeams..........

humming along...

For those of you who read me regularly, you will remember last weekend's trip to the sex store and the purchase of the new vibrator.. a spin off on the Hitachi. You will also remember that Sir did a "quickie" on Sunday morning in the hotel room and how impressed i was.

Yesterday, i brought the new vibrator down with the one attachment we purchased to go with it, and almost whispering ...... asked Sir if i might try it out. Sir gave his approval and went to get his camera immediately. Now a photo session was not exactly in my plans..... but then .. am i supposed to have plans???

As i slid the vibrating monster out of the box, i completely forgot about the 10 ton battery charger also in said box. i shook the box and as the vibrator was delivered safely into my waiting hands, the 10 ton battery charger slipped past and landed on the top of my foot. Can i say "OUCH"!!?? Can i say total and complete immediate loss of interest in anything other than my foot!!??? i hobbled outside feeling just a tad bit sorry for myself.

BUT not to be totally and completely deterred from my objective, i finally hobbled back inside and got my ass on to the sofa - foot elevated - vibrator at the ready. Sir snapped a few pictures, then cause i guess it looked like so much fun (??) Sir took over the vibrator. First the vibrator went slow...... then it went fast...... then slow again. Finally Sir just cranked that sucker up and let her rip........ OH MY GOD !!! i have never ever had a vibrator that vibrated from my pink bits all the way up to my teeth. It was amazing.......... more than amazing.. mind blowing....... more than mind blowing....... ok ok .. i admit it .. there are absolutely no words to describe this new lil toy and the pleasure it can give !!! Two orgasms later (only two!!) and my legs felt like jelly, my brain like mush. For the record this morning my hip bones and pelvic bones felt like i had been.. well used (to put it politely)

i has this cutesy lil blog entry half written in my head. This afternoon i took the card from Sir's camera and from mine and came up to the pc to download the pictures. OK .. hang on a second here!!! First of all i looked at the pictures Sir had taken of the "event". And i suddenly remembered a time long long ago where my ex decided it would be fun to video tape us having sex.......... i watched that video and immediately decided that i was NEVER EVER going to do THAT again.. have sex i mean.. not video tape. i couldn't believe the way i looked, sounded, acted.. ughhhhhhhhhh.. Well fast forward to today and my sitting clicking through the pictures Sir took......... and got almost the exact same reaction.. EXCUSE ME???!!! i look like THAT?? oh my god..... good thing the pictures were on Sir's card .. cause if they had been on mine......... they would have been erased........... god's honest truth....... how ugly i look while in the "throws of passion"...

Once the shock had passed, i decided uploading my pictures was much safer as they were just pictures of this monster of a vibrator. i sat staring at the pictures and thought...... oh my god how ugly is that??!!!

you be the judge..........

Here is the vibrator sans attachment.................

so far so good.........



Here is the attachment.................

starting to get a little screamish......... blue veins?? floppy beakish appendage......

Here is the attachment ON the vibrator looking for all the world like some silly misshapen bird's beak............



Despite my less than stellar reaction to the pictures, i can safely say this vibrator isn't going far, the results it produces are more than worth the ugly pictures!!

The final installment of the play party

After the "boxing match" Sir put me up on the easel. Now i should explain about this easel.... unlike any cross i have been on.. or for that matter any other large piece of equipment, the easel requires that one step up on to it - a good foot, foot and half.

Sir started with a flogger, moved on to the crop and then the cane. i was finding it extremely difficult to get a handle on the pain.. there was so much else going on around me. There was a woman absolutely howling and screeching right next to me; there was the male submissive from the afternoon gasping and stamping his foot; there was another male submissive who had been decorated in clothes pegs for a good 45 minutes yelping and shouting as they were being removed (i remember him yelling with great anguish at one point..... i want to be able to use THAT again!! - i assumed he meant his cock). And the air conditioner was going full blast and blowing down my back. It really did seem at one point or another just a bit too much for me to cope with. Then there were the odd flicks of the whip that went so very wrong, catching me in my "no fly zone". Sir worked out what the problem was.. it was my being elevated a good foot / foot and half higher than we were used to. Tears streamed down my face and i felt like such a wimp. When i finally did catch the rhythm and the pain morphed to pleasure, the little twinkling lights running around the ceiling looked for all the world like fairies dancing around the edges. However, this momentary bliss was quickly replaced by shivering and shaking. My body was racked by the shivers. Sir took me down and wrapped me in my long velvet cape rubbing my body to warm me up. The air conditioning finally won the battle..... and i capitulated.

The weirdness of the evening didn't end there though...... (and perhaps weirdness is the wrong word). i had a young - wet behind the ears - male submissive approach me and tell me how much he admired my hands......... i will admit to being a little taken back..... but i handled the first interchange between him and myself with my usual diplomacy. But then he went on to talk about my nails, how long they were, what a pretty colour they were, and i realized i was getting way out of my depth. i was still somewhere between reality and fairy land and was having great trouble getting my mind wrapped around someone who obviously had some sort of hand/nail fetish. My solution?? dash for the outdoors and have a smoke.

i bounced down the stairs and out the front door, wrapped up in my long velvet cape (in case in the telling of this story anyone assumes i was exposing myself to the vanilla world). i had just lit my cigarette and had had a puff when i was aware of a car parked diagonally across the parking lot with a "gentleman of colour" (is that the politically correct term these days?? ) standing leaning against the car looking at me. He called to me and asked how much to get into the club. Again diplomacy ruled the day, and i answered "i was sorry but it was a private club". At this point the other car door opened and the first 'gentleman' was joined by another... (and trust me when i say i use the term gentleman very loosely!!) The second one went on to say that he could whip a woman as good as anyone so they should be let in. i shut up , and backed up closer to the now locked door of the club...thinking i could ring the bell and bring the bouncer out, but for some reason didn't.

A young woman joined the men. She asked me how much they (indicating the club) would pay her to let them whip her. Now another gentlemen appeared from the street and joined the group. They continued bantering back and forth about whippings and costs.. and i was standing there for all the world like a deaf mute. They must have grown bored with my lack of conversation skills, and soon all but the one gentleman who had walked into the parking lot had piled back into the car and turned their car into the street. The one gentleman followed them on foot. At that point i rang the bell and gained entrance back into the club where i reported the incident.

In all the years i have been attending public play parties, this has to have been the weirdest experience ever.......... from being a punching bag, to freezing from the AC.. to hand/nail fetishes...... to rude threatening individuals .......... What a weekend for the memory book !!!!!

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now for those of you who keep track........ yes today is the 1st of the month......... and yes there is a new installment of the house boy series on The Fictional Journal - link to the right...