Thursday, February 23, 2006

what's in a name?

A rose by any other name is still a rose...........

In Cloud’s blog this morning He asked...concerning names for slaves: "Does it matter to a sub/slave to have ownership shown in such a manner??" i tried to answer Him concisely in the comment section .. but realized i had way too many thoughts on the subject.. and that it might make a good blog.......

Does a name make one feel that one is owned??? Is it necessary to a D/s BDSM relationship to name Your slave/sub??

Once a very long time ago.. i received a doll as a gift. This doll had a hat .. on which was embroidered all the different "hats" that i wore... mother, friend, sister, teacher, wife, daughter, story teller etc etc. These were all parts of who i was. Today i still have many "names" or titles that i go by...... from morningstar to Mrs So/so to littleone to Mom to granny. All bits and pieces of who i am. When Sir calls me littleone do i feel submissive?? Does it make me feel i belong to Him?? Honestly i have to say NO. It is just a word .. a name.

Almost five years ago when i wanted to be collared to Sir.. i asked some Dom friends how one goes about it...... i was told that i should petition Sir to collar me.. i remember how damn nervous i was at the thought...... what if He said "no"?? what if He said "yes"?? It took my Sir 4 whole weeks to weigh the pros and cons of collaring me. He saw it as a huge responsibility - not something to be entered into lightly. As much as i hated that waiting period.. not knowing if my dream would come true or not..... i also realized that this was a serious request i had made...... and was very glad that Sir took it as seriously. This was not a game to be entered into lightly. This was not a collaring for play only.. this was for as long as W/we both could imagine and then god willing even longer.

When Sir collared me it was done privately.. and i cried. There was no huge fanfare or party or hoopla.... Sir took me to town and had me tattooed ..... then when W/we returned to the house, He had me follow HIm downstairs to the basement naked.. had me kneel at His feet.. and He put a silver collar around my neck. i will never forget that day. It was a simple collaring .. that meant the world to me. i was now OWNED. There was no naming involved.. what was involved was a deep abiding commitment to each other... a tattoo on my thigh.. and silver collar around my neck.

Today when i think about being owned....... about what makes me feel "owned" .. it is the right to sign my name "morningstar (owned by Warren)" or in letters to friends i use my real name but always with the "owned by Warren" following it. A name does not make me owned... it is but a word. What makes me "owned" is the commitment Sir and i have to each other.... it is the bond that has formed that holds us together through thick and thin...... It is the caring and the loving and the needing and the satisfying .. all those things make me feel owned.


  1. Nice words what's your name ( lol just a bit of Sir humor ).....

    Seriously, I have never looked back since the day I collared you and as far as your name is concerned, well it is what ever I want to call you as long as it is followed by " Owned by Sir....

    Owner of this submissive

  2. You have stepped into deep waters with this, I believe. For us, the moves that took us into Master/slave relating came much more organically and rythmically, until the recognition of the fact was simply undeniable -- we claimed the labels because they described the reality we were living. The committing was an interweaving built of words and questions asked and answered until there were certainties and sureties that were so clear to us that we simply knew who we were to one another. We have moments that are "peak" for us, but no single ONE moment that stands for our beginning exactly. There remains the instant that He declared His love. There is the forever imprinted memory of His adamant command to "get to me by summer." There is the glorious moment when we came together finally to live together. There is the night that He made the cutting of His initials in my back. There is the night that He gave me His collar and took me so intensely in the dungeon at OLF. These are "snapshot" moments, to be sure, but they are each imbedded in a larger fabric that is "our" journey toward one another. Like so much else, we haven't done our power exchange in the "usual way." I have been named by Him, and it is a name that I treasure and love, but it is only one of the gifts of being His that I keep tucked away in my heart...



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