Serious business

It has been almost 3 weeks since Sir has played with me seriously. 3 long weeks. It is amazing how out of practice one can get in 3 long weeks... how scary the play room can look after 3 long weeks... how intimidating the wall of toys can look after 3 long weeks.

i almost prayed that i would receive a reprieve.. some sort of dispensation to save me having to go downstairs and turn on the heater. But it didn't come. What did come was the order to follow Sir down the stairs to the play room.

The cuffs went on and were attached to the cross.. i whispered to Sir how scared i was... and today i wonder what exactly it was that was scaring me.... i never seem to know what .. just that i AM. i found it hard to breath.. i couldn't find any kind of focus.. i couldn't seem to decide if this was gonna be just fun or just pain.. i couldn't seem to decide how i was gonna handle it.. and while i was doing all this "figuring" in my head.. Sir started in on me.. and i was whimpering and complaining and running fast in my head to try and catch up with Sir.. and somewhere in all that running to catch up... Sir commented on how noisy i was. That did it! my focus! not a particularily good one.. but nevertheless a point to focus on......... "Noisy am i!!!???" i thought. "ok fine BUSTER.. i won't say another word .. i won't make another sound!" all of this was punctuated with a mental stamp of my foot. And my top teeth came down firmly on my bottom lip .. and not a sound came out of my mouth.

Sir used every variety of toy that we have hanging on the wall.. and He used my favourite style.. rhythmical strokes interwoven with lots of touching and rubbing.. and contact. BUT was i processing this - the way i should have been?? oh god no....... not even close.. in my dear sweet angelic lil subbie brain i was throwing the BIGGEST temper tantrum... "noisy am i???!! i will show YOU!!!" and i would bite down even harder... i felt the floggers and the whips and the flogger of a thousand stings.. and the whippy that all but tears the skin off my ass...

and then i felt the paddle......... cold and hard and smooth against my ass... and my resolve to stay quiet all but shattered... i can NOT .. it is impossible to stay quiet when Sir uses it hard against an already battered derriere.... BUT Sir didn't use it the way He usually does.. no tap tap tap KAPOW.. no.. last night it was tap tap tap - each one a little harder than the last but NO kapow... it got to the point that i didn't know when the paddle was resting against my ass - telegraphing the next hit - or when the paddle was lifted off my ass.. or when it was hitting....... the feelings were all melded together.....and i was with my fairies dancing on the rainbow.....

Today i am ready to admit.. whatever has been ailing me for the last 3 weeks has been chased away.... i am once again fit as a fiddle.... and Sir has once again...plucked my strings..........